Balancing Expectations-Relationships With Your Team
Posted on February 17, 2018 by Allyson Bathalon, One of Thousands of Executive Coaches on Noomii.
Creating meaningful, personal relationships with those you manage while ensuring that your team works harder for you than ever before.
Managing people is tough.
Just when you thought you had it figured out, something else comes along to make you feel like you have no idea what you’re doing. Add to that, a personal connection with those you work with, and it could very well be a recipe for disaster. Or, your opportunity to build an even stronger team.
Managers can come in all shapes and sizes. From those who try to keep a personal distance from the members of the team they lead-perhaps believing if they treat them like machines and not get involved in their personal lives, those employees will slog along without emotion and feeling. I’ve also worked with the opposite type of manager, one who is involved in even the most basic life decisions of their team members lives, attending all personal events being completely invested in the lives of those they lead. Unfortunately, both end up not working out for some reason or another. The Cold Shoulder Manager ends up alienating their team, ensuring that the best of the best leave to work for a manager who treats them like the human being they are and the Hyper Involved Manager ends up with hurt feelings when the team member ends of treating them like a “Boss” instead of a BFF.
So, what’s the answer?
As with most things, it’s balance. Recognizing the feelings and emotions (both positive and negative) of your team members ensures that you see them as people who have successes and struggles and you can work with them on life’s challenges. Recognizing them as mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, instead of as machines or “employees” shows that you too are human, that you care about them as much, if not more, than the bottom line. The result is usually a team that respects you, works harder for you and feels a personal commitment to the success of the team.
Balancing all of that with not becoming best friends with your staff may be challenging when you end up with fantastic team members. You may feel a personal connection with them, enjoy their company so much that you start planning experiences outside of work. You may go out for drinks after work on a regular basis and start connecting with them on a more personal level. Once you’ve become closer “friends” it may be more challenging to correct their performance.
Occasionally, managers who become close to their employees experience a sense of being taken advantage of-that the employee expects you to look the other way when their performance is less than stellar.
What are the top 10 key ways of connecting with your team members without crossing that line?
1. Show them appreciation for the hard work they do, don’t be too quick to focus on what is next on your To Do List. 2. Be sure to keep your expectations in check-not everyone will work as hard as you think you do, but that doesn’t mean they’re not doing their best.3. Be cautious of social outings and know that while you may not remember all the things you said while under the influence, your team members probably will, especially if it was inappropriate.
4. Recognize personal events in your team members’ lives-a simple card for birthdays, anniversaries, etc, can go a long way in having them feel acknowledged by you.
5. Challenge yourself to review your team members in a consistent and professional manner. Documenting performance issues is critical and showing that you are unbiased when it comes to their performance reviews prevents possible favoritism. This is always a great opportunity to revisit the positive you’ve seen recently. Remember-it is always best to acknowledge performance (good or bad) while it is happening, and not surprise your team member at the time of the review.
6. Know the names of their immediate family members, children’s names and ages. Be sure to ask appropriate questions on what’s going on in their lives.
7. Respect Gets Respect-If you show your team members the respect they deserve, they’ll generally show up when you need them to and enjoy working hard for you.
8. Remember that you’re still perceived as a Manager even outside of the workplace. Be especially cautious of intimate relationships-in almost every situation, if a work relationship turns into something more serious, finding alternate roles or employment is a good idea.
9. Speak up if it feels like your team member is expecting preferential treatment. A simple “Hey, I appreciate that we can socialize outside of the office but when we are here I need to know I can count on you the same as any of the other team members. Don’t expect me to look the other way when you roll in 10 minutes late.” can go a long way in bringing the situation to light.
10. Finally, the infamous “Lead by Example.” There’s a reason the term is used in every article, book and management talk. If you spend your day goofing off, chances are, your team members will gladly follow your lead. Alternatively, if you work hard, say managing the restaurant but are also the first to step up to bus tables and wash the dishes, your team will follow your lead.
Remember to take stock in your work relationships as you would in any other important relationship in your life. Check in when necessary or give yourself some distance if it feels like things are getting too cozy. Keeping a close eye on the team can ensure that you take on any problems before they become insurmountable.
