DEDICATION TO MY BELOVED BROTHER

Posted on January 19, 2018 by Gayle Kirk, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

I have great compassion, empathy, and understanding for the loss you are feeling.

Sadly, my brother Greg took his own life at age 45 on July 17, 2008.

He was in the Navy 24 years and has 2 daughters.

This inspiring dedication includes some of the signs he’s given from Heaven.

SENIOR CHIEF GREGORY, 45, OF VIRGINIA PASSED AWAY THURSDAY, JULY 17, 2008 AT HIS HOME.

Throughout his younger years, Greg was active in the Boy Scouts where he achieved the rank of Eagle Scout. He was an accomplished athlete in high school football, wrestling and baseball. After graduating from high school, he attended community college and university. For over 24 years, Gregory served our country in the United States Navy providing guidance and mentorship to fellow Navy Sailors. He enjoyed fishing, collecting baseball cards, and antiques.

He is survived by his parents, 2 daughters, 2 sisters, brother, nephew and niece, former wife, aunts, and uncles, along with many dear cousins. He was preceded in death by both sets of grandparents and his uncle.

Most of this was written shortly after my brother passed in 2008.

I will miss my brother Greg terribly. We are in shock and devastated by his loss.

My younger brother Greg was only 45 years old when he passed. Greg was a humorous, fun-loving, out-going, happy, optimistic, confident, athletic, successful, charismatic, dynamic, enthusiastic, and larger-than-life person.

He lived in Virginia and was just 9 short months away from retiring from a 24-year career with the Navy. He was very proud of and greatly loved his 2 daughters. His oldest daughter will be a junior in high school this year and the youngest will be a sophomore in high school. Both are sweet and loving girls, excellent students, and outstanding soccer players. They live with their mother in Mississippi.

As we all certainly know, life can be very difficult and, at times, seem overwhelming. Life’s journey often has bumps in the road, hard knocks, and takes unexpected twists and turns.

My brother Greg went through a painful divorce when his children were very young. Due to the divorce and several transfers during his career with the Navy, he lived far away from his 2 girls. Greg loved his daughters greatly and the separation from them hurt him tremendously. He often expressed how deeply he missed being present as a Dad on a regular basis, watching his children grow up, being part of a loving family, and being a husband. The pain of his divorce and the separation from his children took a terrible toll on him. Over the years, his frustration and depression grew.

My family also now strongly believes Greg suffered from Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy (CTE) which is a progressive degenerative disease of the brain found in athletes (and others) with a history of repetitive brain trauma. It includes concussions as well as subconcussive hits to the head.

My brother was an excellent athlete and quarterback for his football team. We know of at least 2 concussions he experienced in high school while playing football and 1 concussion while skateboarding and another concussion while sledding. The brain degeneration caused by the concussion creates personality changes, memory loss, confusion, impaired judgment, impulse control problems, aggression, depression, and eventually progressive dementia. Several prominent athletes with suspected CTE have committed suicide.

My brother tried to be strong for as long as he could. He toughed it out in the face of adversity. Like many of us, he didn’t want to appear weak. Greg was a “soldier” to the end.

Despite my family’s many pleas, Greg, like many of us, wasn’t the type of person to seek help or take advice. He tried to solve his problems on his own. Unfortunately, my dear brother eventually became overwhelmed by his feelings and challenges. He turned to alcohol to try to cope and to take away his pain.

Eventually, depression, loneliness, despair, alcohol, and likely CTE overcame my brother. His personality changed and he became unclear in his thinking and actions. When he finally had experienced all the weight of his burdens that he could handle, he decided he had endured enough. Dressed in full military uniform, he took his own life so that he would stop feeling the immense pain that he carried.

My family had been aware that Greg was unhappy for several years towards the end of his life. Over the last few years, my family tried the best we could, using every tactic we could think of, to help him turn his life around. But, you can’t make someone accept your help or make him or her change if they aren’t able or willing, especially if they are an adult.

Therefore, despite my great sadness at his choice to leave this Earth, I also took some comfort in knowing that he is at peace and that his unbearable suffering was now over.

After being told the heartbreaking news on the telephone by my loving and distraught parents, I went into my office, closed the door, cried, and sat numbly in prayer. I am not a “religious” person, but I am a very “spiritual” person. I have a strong relationship with a Higher Power and faith in God.

My background is Protestant so I specifically asked Jesus and Mother Mary to please take my brother by the hand and escort him into Heaven and to help him be with my relatives who had gone before him.

I also desperately asked Jesus and Mary to please give me a sign letting me know that my brother Greg had made it safely into Heaven.

I then said a second prayer – this one to my brother, “Greg, go to the Light and please let me know that you have made it safely into Heaven and that you are with Grandma Brooks, Mama Lou, Pop Pop, Uncle Jim, and the others. Please give me a sign letting me know that you have made it safely into Heaven and are with our family again.”

I am a professional Psychic, Medium, and Channel as most of you already know. I’m used to connecting clients with loved ones who have passed into Heaven. It is a very comforting, uplifting, and healing experience for them and for me.

This time was different. Although I had been working as a professional Psychic, Medium, and Channel for 10 years when my brother passed, I desperately asked God for a connection for myself and for my brother on behalf of our entire family and on behalf of the many people who loved Greg.

I wanted to be reassured and comforted in knowing that Greg had made it to Heaven, that he was at peace, safe, and was with our family.

After spending time in prayer, I was putting things away in my office to distract myself when I found a small object on the floor. It was tucked between some boxes in an out-of-the-way place slightly out of reach. I am a neat and organized person. Because the object didn’t belong on the floor, I had to pick it up. I reached way back towards the wall to pick up the object. “What is it?” I thought to myself.

SIGN FROM HEAVEN

It was a small card with a beautiful, serene picture of Mother Mary on it. I had purchased it years earlier at a Catholic gift shop as a form of comfort and support for myself.

Long ago, I had placed the card on top of the table beside my stereo in my office. After praying to Jesus and Mother Mary about my brother, I noticed it had mysteriously moved to the floor, underneath my massage table, and was oddly lying between 2 boxes. How did it get there? When did it move there? How long had it been there?

I looked at the picture of Mother Mary for a moment with surprise and joy, as I remembered my prayer less than 15 minutes earlier, “Jesus and Mary, please give me a sign letting me know that Greg has made it safely into Heaven and that he is now at peace.” I then turned the card over and read the printing on the back.

The card said, “Your prayers have been answered.”

I felt great relief for I now knew Greg had made it safely into Heaven, that he was with our family there, and that he was at peace. I cried and said a big thank you to Mother Mary and Jesus for their help with my brother and for answering my prayer.

Later that same day, which was the day Greg passed, I was talking to my husband, Mark, about my brother. As my husband and I sat solemnly on the couch in the living room trying to comprehend things, suddenly A VERY LOUD WHIRLING SOUND came from outside our 3rd floor apartment. I ran onto the balcony and saw what looked like a NAVY helicopter flying DIRECTLY AT OUR APARTMENT.

It came loudly whirling directly towards us. It was about 20-30 feet in the air and went over the top of our end of the building, above our apartment, did a very small circle, came immediately back around, and again flew directly at our apartment and roared over a second time before quickly leaving.

Each time the helicopter flew over our heads, I jumped up and down waving my arms and yelling, “I love you, brother! I love you! I know this is you. I got the message. It’s a sign!”

It was an amazing, strange, and incredibly moving spiritual experience. I shared the good news with my family and I just had to share the wonderful news with you in this article.

Greg gave us all the sign I had asked him for.

My brother in Heaven came through the loud roaring and whirling of a Navy or Navy-style helicopter.

It was his way of saying, “I’ve made it to Heaven. I’m alive. I’m okay. I heard your request. I’m still with you all. I love you all. Don’t worry about me. I’m fine. I’m in Heaven with family.”

The helicopter experience happened less than 2 hours from me praying to my brother for a sign. It came less than 14 hours from his passing. My brother really wanted to get his message across to all of us. His personality and energy was and still are very strong.

This photo (see my website for photo) is the helicopter we believe we saw fly over our apartment at about 7:00 pm on 7/17/08 during a beautiful, peaceful orange and blue sunset. The military helicopter came directly at us twice and flew VERY low and circled us twice.

It’s important to note is that there are no Navy bases near us.

No Navy helicopter has never flown over our apartment before, nor has a helicopter of this type or any type ever flown over us in the 10 years that we have lived here.

As far as we could tell it was a Navy MH-53E Sea Dragon or a military helicopter that resembled something very similar. We know that it was a sign from my brother Greg who was in the Navy 23 years and who passed away that very same day on 7/17/08.

Is it a strange coincidence that a Navy or military helicopter flew directly at our apartment and circled us twice the day Greg passed, while I was talking about him, and shortly after I had prayed for a sign from him letting me know that he was at peace in Heaven? I think not. Thank you, Greg. Awesome!

My brother was passionate about his 2 girls, his family, and the Navy. After his death, Greg wanted to be sure that, despite his leaving, we all knew that he was still very much with us and that he still very much loved us.

My brother in Heaven heard my desperate prayers requesting a sign letting me and my family know that he was safely in Heaven. He answered my request by giving us a very loud, unusual sign – the Navy helicopter circling twice over my home on the day of his passing.

Do I wish Greg had chosen differently? Do I wish he had found a different way to help himself from his suffering? Of course I do. I love him and I will miss his physical presence for the rest of my life.

I will miss his outgoing, jovial presence at our family gatherings. Our family won’t be the same with him gone. We will always feel his absence and mourn his loss. I will miss calling him on the telephone and sharing a joke. I will miss teasing him and having him to talk with or being able to turn to him for help.

This is a terrible shock to my family and his girls and yet I cannot condemn him for it.

The most any of us can do, at any given time, in any situation, is our best.

I know Greg did the best he could in a dire situation given his personality and his circumstances. He made a great effort through various ways to let each one of us know how very much he loved and appreciated us prior to his passing. He wanted to be sure his action hurt us as little as possible and he wanted to be sure each of us knew how much we meant to him.

I know Greg didn’t mean anything personal by this. I know he never meant to hurt any of us with his decision.

Greg wouldn’t have done it unless he was in great pain. He stayed strong as long as he could. He did the best he could. He was a soldier to the very end. At that particular moment, he felt it was his only choice.

We can’t place our own expectations on what we believe others “should” have done according to our ways of thinking.

None of us were in his position or can say with certainty what we would have done had we been in his position. None of us know the depth of his pain, what he was thinking or the severity of his situation.

All we can do is have compassion for him and learn to accept his decision with understanding and love and find ways to heal.

I have nothing but unconditional love and great compassion for my brother, his suffering, and the difficult choice he made. I don’t condone his decision, nor do I condemn him for it. Naturally, I wish he had sought help and had chosen a different way and that things turned out differently, but it was not my choice to make.

WE LOVE YOU

As adults, we each have the right and responsibility to create our own lives and to make our own choices.

As adults, we each have the right to choose how we live and we each have the responsibility to make our lives joyful and fulfilling. We also have the responsibility to get help when we need it.

Often, when we try to help someone without his or her request for help and without his or her willingness to receive support, we are met with strong resistance as Greg did with us.

My parents have always done the very best they could and the best they knew how. They have always had our best interests in mind. They have always given us as much love and support as they possibly could when we were children and as adults.

Greg always received lots of love and support from his family and friends. Those who knew his situation did the best they could to try and help him and were adamantly pushed away by him. We all reached out to Greg, doing the best we all could, trying every tactic we could think of, and he wasn’t able or willing to receive our help.

We have to let go of any guilt, anger or resentment we may have. We all did the best we could to help him. No one could have prevented Greg’s passing.

Nothing anyone did caused Greg’s passing. It was his decision alone.

As parents, we do the best we can to raise our children to be healthy, happy, caring, successful, and responsible people living a life that is positive, productive, and meaningful. Once our children become adults, we have to realize that we are no longer their caretakers. As hard as it may be to let go, we are no longer responsible for how our adult children feel, what they do or the choices they make in life.

As much as it hurts to see someone we love suffer or make poor choices, we cannot live someone else’s life for them or make changes for them or make them get assistance when they need it. As hard as it is to see our adult children in pain or making choices we don’t agree with, we are not responsible for their health, happiness or success in life.

I am learning that I can love people deeply (on Earth and in Heaven) without needing and believing others are the source of my self-worth, love, happiness, and inner peace – even if we are family or friends.

I am learning to have great love for myself, express my needs, take care of myself, and seek healing.

I trust that one day I will have understanding about those people and things that seem difficult, outrageous, or unfair.

I choose to be willing to accept the past, present, myself, and others. I ask for help doing so.

Through acceptance and a willingness to heal, I set myself free to truly live.

Through acceptance, healing, and personal responsibility, I also create the inner stillness needed to recognize your Soul with me.

I find forgiveness, peace, comfort, and healing as I surrender to a power greater than myself to guide and support me.

I also claim my personal spiritual power, the power of my Soul and God working in and through me, to move forward with greater love, joy, peace, and ease.

Although I miss you every day more than words can say, I am choosing to trust that you are okay and that I will be okay.

No matter what has happened, know how very much I love you.

I know how very much you love me.

We are bonded forever.

I focus on being thankful that you are no longer suffering.

I have faith that you are happy, healthy, and at peace.

I know you are surrounded by the love of family, friends, and pets in Heaven who are rejoicing in the wonderful reunion.

I continue to have a relationship with you, feel your love, and send you my love as I connect my Soul with yours.

I am learning to experience you, not as a physical presence, but as a living Spiritual Presence in my life – still very much alive, just in a different form – as pure Soul.

I am aware that I am an eternal Soul too and that we can love one another and still communicate Soul to Soul. The bond of love is never broken.

I am focusing on being grateful for having you in my life.

I am remembering the many blessings you brought me. I remember you with joy as I am reminded of the good times we had together.

I celebrate your life. I honor you with the way I live.

I do my best to make you proud.

I know that when I am happy, you are happy for me.

I trust you will send signs and dreams to let me know you are with me.

I will continue to pray, look, listen, feel, and be aware of your loving presence.

I will send you my love and talk to you because I know you really can see and hear us.

Help me open my heart to let in healing and feel the love from others.

I will do my best to enjoy life and share my love as well.

Help me appreciate each day, be the most I can be, and live life to the fullest.

I chose to come here as a Soul temporarily in a body to love, create, learn, heal, and grow.

I am learning to be gentle with myself and others.

I am learning to trust by letting go of expectations and control.

I am learning various ways to navigate my life in partnership with Spirit.

I often sincerely ask my Soul, “What can I learn from this?”

I choose to follow through on the loving inner guidance that comes.

I help those who are in similar situations or needing support in other ways.

Let us all come closer together as a family and as an extended family.

By extending my hands and heart, I also heal myself.

I am comforted in knowing we will be together again one day when the time is right.

Until we meet in Heaven, all my love is with you always.

I know from my work as a Psychic, Medium, and Channel that once we are in Heaven, all our fears, sorrows, challenges, addictions, incapacities, and ailments are no longer with us. We are again safe, healthy, and free.

We are loved and supported by God/Source/Spirit and by our loved ones who have gone before us. We are not judged or condemned, but we do have a life review in which we learn from our decisions and see the effect our life choices had on others.

I know we will all be together again one day which brings me comfort because I know I will see him again.

Until that day when we are all reunited in God’s loving arms, I wish my brother peace. I will continue to love him and remember the happy, fun times.

I know that he loved me dearly as well and I thank him for taking the time to express his love for me. I will remember the many, many good times we shared together as a family and I will thank God that we had so many wonderful moments together with this very special person.

Let us all grow stronger because of this experience in our faith, in ourselves, and in our love and support for each other.

Let us love ourselves more deeply so that not one of us will ever again feel the same kind of despair that Greg and others like him felt.

I love you, Greg.

I miss you.

I’ll help you take care of your girls.

I’ll continue to be there for our family.

Be at peace and say hello to our family, friends, and our sweet dog in Heaven for me.

God bless you, Greg.

I know we will be together again.

I’ll love you always and miss you each day.

Until we meet again, brother, be well. Be at peace.

Your big sister,

Gayle