Compassionate Collaboration...ON Purpose!

Posted on December 01, 2017 by Mark Myette, One of Thousands of Career Coaches on Noomii.

FIGHT YOUR WAY TOWARD COLLABORATION…MARK MYETTE

Quick: Think of a time when you demonstrated compassion.

Next: Think of a time when you demonstrated collaboration.

What did it look like?

As we immerse ourselves into another holiday season, reviewing the pillar COMPASSIONATE COLLABORATION – the fourth of 7 pillars defined by Robert Greenleaf – is appropriate! The holidays should be about and the celebration of COMPASSIONATE COLLABORATION!

Case in point, when the Pilgrims arrived in the new world in 1620, they were welcomed by the native inhabitants, of the area had already been there 10000 years BEFORE they arrived – the Wampanoag Indians. They taught the Pilgrims how to plant corn, as well as where to fish and hunt. They learned from the “locals” who shared their gifts…in the Fall of 1621 the Pilgrims famously shared one of their first harvests during a THREE day celebration come to be known as Thanksgiving!

Now, as we approach the holidays full force, we have an opportunity to similarly extend the gratitude through the end of the year and perhaps beyond! In the workplace this demonstration can nurture a desire to practice compassionate collaboration!

And before you jump to the conclusion that this blog is a “namby-pamby” approach toward a “corporate trust fall”…keep reading because it’s more! Practicing and consistently demonstrating compassionate collaboration to co-workers, teammates, or colleagues (hard) and customers (harder) is REALLY REALLY hard.

As we have learned, being Compassionate is all about empathy and demonstrating care for others. Collaboration, from the Latin roots “com” and “laborare”, means to “co-labor” is all about “working together.”

In my last blog I noted my 95-year-old Uncle Robert’s strong influence to me…currently he’s in a rehabilitation facility due to a fall…the facility is impressive…and seems to promote a very strong culture of positivity and “patient first” values… posters line every wall with examples of these values…where it gets hard is when an employee is tired…stressed…or, perhaps, overworked. When I check-in and ask “Robert, how are things going?” he’ll sometimes relay a story that brings the posters to life! On a subsequent call, he may relay a story about how values on the posters remain just that – a poster…an aspiration – like I said, it’s REALLY REALLY hard to do consistently.

Compassion and ways to show it:
- Be an advocate.
- Communicate empathetically verbally and non-verbally.
- Encourage others.
- Express yourself.
- Respect privacy.
- Show kindness.
- Touch (if appropriate).

Collaboration and ways to show it:
- Actively learn and listen.
- All members take initiative.
- Be open about everything.
- Commit to the success of other members, rather than just one’s own success.
- Demonstrate personal responsibility.
- Expertise is more important than position.
- Get everyone on the same page.
- Hold effective team meetings.
- Invite ideas / inputs from everyone – the more diverse the better.
- Look for ways to continuously improve the WHOLE.
- Manage disagreements respectfully, fairly, and constructively.
- Pay attention to the quality of work life.
- Recognize the contributions.
- Relate well to others – the more diverse the better.
- Set expectations.
- Trust.
- Value individual differences.
- Value truth / truth telling.

In the book, Collaborative Leadership, the author, Peter DeWitt, describes collaboration as “A mutually beneficial relationship between two or more parties who work toward common goals by sharing responsibility, authority, and accountability for achieving results. Collaboration is more than simply sharing knowledge and information (communication) and more than a relationship that helps each party achieve its own goals (cooperation and coordination). The purpose of collaboration is to create a shared vision and joint strategies to address concerns that go beyond the purview of any particular party.”

ASK YOURSELF
- Do I really believe collaboration can be more effective than individual action?
- What would I need to change in my thinking to begin considering collaboration as a first option?
- Specifically, what have I lost by not collaborating when I could have?
- Am I open / willing to learn how to better practice collaboration?

As defined by Seven Pillars of Servant Leadership: Practicing the Wisdom of Leading by Serving – by James W. Sipe and Don M. Frick, Compassionate Collaboration boils down to three competencies: 1. Expresses Appreciation 2. Builds Teams and Communities and 3. Negotiates Conflict.

So, let’s delve using the book!

1. Expresses Appreciation

Expressing appreciation is one way a servant leader acts on his commitment to the growth of others. It’s also good business!

When a company’s corporate culture values enterprise-wide employee recognition and praise (a “positive culture”), it translates directly to the bottom line in an impressive way. Kotter and Heskett conducted an eleven-year research study summarized in their book Corporate Culture and Performance. They found companies that maintained a positive and collaborative cultural not only positively influenced customers, stockholders, and employees, they performed better economically than companies that did not maintain similar positive cultural traits. This translated into an increase in revenues by an average of 682 percent, an expansion of the workforce by an average of 282 percent, and growth in company stock prices by an average of 901 percent.

So with this supporting data it’s appropriate to share tips on how you can help your employees feel valued include the following:

- Develop a peer-recognition program
- Give recognition consistently
- Identify what is meaningful to your employees
- Keep recognition programs fresh
- Offer employee reward options
- Recognize all levels of employees
- Train managers on recognition best practices

Sipe and Frick recommend following a simple five step process to demonstrate appreciation:

1 – Praise with a Purpose
2 – Be Specific
3 – Consider the Receiver
4 – Be Sincere
5 – Do it Often

ASK YOURSELF
- How did I feel the last time someone expressed heartfelt appreciation to me?
- If I want to pass that feeling on, who are three people I can honestly express appreciation to today?

2. Build Teams and Communities

Robert Greenleaf believed servant leaders should understand that any given group will have multiple leaders who serve different roles. As such, he identified 10 competencies important to be an effective servant leader…all of which we have spent 10 previous blogs discovering (stack ranked based on reader popularity):

- Empathy
- Developing Others AKA Commitment to the Growth of the People
- Conceptualization
- Healing
- Self-Awareness
- Authentic Listening
- Foresight
- Stewardship
- Persuasion

The challenge AND opportunity is we CANNOT be 100% effective in ALL of them…that’s why having a DIVERSE team is critical and why Greenleaf identified important leadership roles:

- Mediator – Intervenes in disputes and forms a basis for resolution so the work of the group can go on. Greenleaf saw this as “usually a subtle and inconspicuous role, but one of inestimable value.”
- Consensus finder – The rare person who is patient enough to try a different “language” to state the consensus idea with which all can agree.
- Critic – One who finds logical flaws or sometimes states what others do not want to admit, like, “Hey, this isn’t working!” A destructive critic can hurt more than help, but one should still see the critic as a leader with gifts to contribute to the group.
- Shameless cheerleader – The person who is willing to allow his or her love for others to show, and who seeks good feelings. “With as many abrasive people as there are around,” said Greenleaf, “nothing would move without the meliorators.”
- Keeper of the conscience – Those who “hold the work of the group solidly within a context of values and belief that all accept as necessary for the work they want to do.”
- Process watcher – One who observes the overall group process and leadership roles and takes quiet action to address any malfunctions or deficiencies.
- “Chief” – The appointed chairperson or “bottle washer #1”, necessary because team members need to understand who decides routine matters, who holds group members to agreed protocols, and who speaks for the group to the wider world.

Greenleaf’s analysis of team leadership roles is more radical than it may appear. Notice several of the leadership roles he considers important, i.e. critic and process watcher, are the “avoided roles” of most traditional-minded leaders.

As noted in a Greenleaf’s essay “Seeker and Servant: Reflections on Religious Leadership” (1996), this view of team leadership invites each member to take on a leadership role consistent with her/his experiences, skills, temperaments, and interests. If all of the roles are carried out well, Greenleaf says the group “may seem to be leaderless. But, in fact, such a group or team may be the most intensely led of all.”

Seven Standards of High-Performing Teams

Using Greenleaf’s philosophy, Sipe and Frick consider measuring a team’s performance against a set of “leadership operating standards” below:

1 – Goal Setting – To increase the level of commitment toward the successful accomplishment of group goals, the goals should be cooperatively developed, relevant to the needs of the team (and the organization), and clearly understood.
2 – Communication – Respectful, direct, clear, and accurate two-way communication is the basis of all group functioning and interaction. Open expression of thoughts, feelings, and needs is expected and rewarded. Communication is not clear and accurate if the group avoids conflict.
3 – Participation – Participation and leadership are equally distributed among all group members. Everyone accepts the responsibility to meet goals, respect each other, and perform. The leader makes sure that the talents and resources of each group member are being optimally utilized.
4 – Decision Making – Consensus is the most valuable approach to making decisions in a group, especially decisions with great import. However, decision-making procedures need to be flexible, and must be matched with the situation. Different methods may be used at different times.
Regardless, each group member is allowed ample opportunity to weigh in on every decision.
5 – Problem Solving – Controversy, tension, and conflict are inevitable in all groups and should therefore be expected, even encouraged. This is a lesson Quakers learned during nearly four hundred years of evolving and practicing the rules for consensus decision making. Conflicts must be aired and addressed in a way that encourages a solution everyone can live with.
6 – Interpersonal Effectiveness – Group members value emotional intelligence, self-confidence, emotional maturity, and authenticity.
7 – Cohesiveness – Members enjoy being in the group and feeling safe. Because of mutual positive regard, inclusiveness, high morale, and esprit de corps, they are willing to take risks. They feel free to fail.

ASK YOURSELF

- Which of Greenleaf’s group roles do I normally take?
- Which roles should I try more?
- Would I feel secure in a group with seamless, shared leadership, or do I prefer a group with a strong leader?
- How often do I try to impose my preference for group leadership style on others who may not agree?
- What would a servant leader do?
- How does my current team stack up against the seven standards for a high-performing team?
- If I am not currently on a team, how did my last team measure up?
- Am I willing to teach the seven standards to other members of my team at our next meeting?

3. Negotiates Conflict

Positive approaches to conflict can help you protect your interests, freeing you to take action and solve problems. On the other hand, conflict can be mishandled. It can storm out of control and cause harm to you and others. Compassionate collaboration will not happen if you hold on to the old ways of handling conflict based on “I win, you lose!”

At one extreme, children are taught that anger and conflict are not okay. They may end up stuffing their anger and avoiding confrontation. At the other extreme, kids see anger and conflict handled aggressively and violently. They may have been encouraged to use force to solve their problems. Other children fall somewhere in between these extremes. They have been shown healthier and more productive outlets for their anger and frustration.

The refusal to admit to disagreements can be as destructive as aggressive confrontation. Yet even the Quakers (of which Greenleaf was a devout Quaker), who practically invented consensus decision making, stress that consensus will not work unless every person surfaces disagreements so they can be dealt with honestly.

Sipe and Frick review TWO techniques that are helpful with this competency:

THE CHILL DRILL® – a technique for controlling anger.
Peace R.U.L.E.S!™ Negotiation Rules – techniques to negotiate conflict (source: James Sipe, Your Conflict Resolution Tool – Detroit Performance Resource Press)

For more SEE: Conflict…ON Purpose!

ASK YOURSELF
- How do you act in conflict?
- What were you taught about anger and confrontation?
- Do you try to win an argument at any cost, even if it means straining a relationship or losing a friend?
- Or, do you easily give in, afraid that if you stand up for yourself, the other person might not like you?
- Do you see a conflict as a shared situation and search for solutions that both of you can accept?
- Or, do you pretend that the problem does not exist?
- Do I like my conflict “roost,” especially when I realize this is also how I probably face conflicts with family and significant others?
- Do I want to make some changes?
- While I think of something that makes me really angry, I’ll try THE CHILL DRILL® – What is the difference in my body sensation and attitude after THE CHILL DRILL®?
- Am I willing to try the Peace R.U.L.E.S!™ Negotiation Rules and Peace Plan at my next opportunity to negotiate?
- Will these ideas work with my family? And if so, am I willing to try them out?
- Is it worth my effort to see negotiation as a tool for collaboration?
- Or, do I enjoy the power-play game of traditional negotiation too much to give it up?

Conclusion

A servant leader nurtures a climate of appreciation, is a team builder by helping group members develop the skills to identify and eliminate any barriers to group’s success and helps them solve any interpersonal problems that may prevent the group from maintaining high-quality interactions or diminish cohesiveness. This view of team leadership – COMPASSIONATE COLLABORATION – is not for those who want to use a group role to satisfy ego. Rather, it’s for servant leaders who value BEST OUTCOMES over PERSONAL GAIN: in short, leaders with moral authority (stay tuned!).

My best to your quest!

​Mark
​I believe each of us is a gift. I create trusted relationships where individuals, teams and leaders NAME, CLAIM and AIM their gifts to achieve optimum performance.

​Interested to Learn About Yourself or Your Team? Mark is a Certified CliftonStrengths Coach and TotalSDI Facilitator and happy to discuss your situation / team.

WhatAreYourGifts.com/blog