Why Coaching Uniquely Delivers Results vs. Self Help, Training and Mentoring

Posted on November 30, 2017 by Ed Senen, One of Thousands of Leadership Coaches on Noomii.

In this article we will briefly look at the various “ Go To” methods for performance and behavior improvement and explore why professional coaching uniquely delivers lasting change and results.
1. Self-help: the transfer of self improvement and motivational information by reading, observation and/or listening. While there is a lot of good self-help information, books and training available, there are a few reasons why self-help efforts frequently fall short of hopes and expectations. The first challenge is that all these forms of self-help learning primarily appeal to the conscious mind, and unfortunately the conscious mind is quite forgetful! Studies show that traditional methods of training and information exchange are soon forgotten. In fact 83% of what we have read, listened to, or been trained on is forgotten by the conscious mind within four weeks. This is partly why lasting change through traditional self-help methods is so elusive. A second challenge faced by traditional self-help methods is that they largely appeal to the conscious mind. This is problematic because the conscious mind is ineffective at influencing how we see and feel about the world around us. This is because our world view is largely locked in by the beliefs we hold to be true in our subconscious mind. This distinction is important as it is our subconscious beliefs that are the major source of the fear we feel when we contemplate self-improvement which frequently implies getting outside our comfort zone. Thus a simple conscious thought like speaking in public can unleash a series of chemical reactions in the body that immediately increase heart rate and redirect blood flow away from the brain to our core in preparation for fight or flight. What has happened in reality? A single thought generated by the conscious mind has created havoc in the body because of what the subconscious mind believes to be true (right or wrong) about public speaking. As self- improvement efforts frequently require getting out of our comfort zone, methods of learning that ultimately appeal to our subconscious beliefs are better suited to creating lasting change. Thus, by generally appealing to the conscious mind, many traditional self-help methods of learning achieve limited results.
2. Mentoring: the exchange of experience and perspective from the mentor to the mentee. Mentorship is a good way to expedite learning by riding the coat tails of someone who has been there, done that, and has the t-shirt to prove it. In many respects mentorship is superior to self- help because of the one-on- one aspect of the relationship combined with the ability of mentorship to appeal to emotion facilitating information retention and learning. The limitation of mentoring is that the mentee is looking through someone else’s eyes and not through their own. Thus, there is a tendency to do things the mentor’s way which may or may not be the best way for the mentee. If left unchecked, the mentee runs the risk of an “authenticity gap” if the mentee tries to do or be like someone else. The absence of authenticity can limit effectiveness as perceived by others, and in many cases, can be exhausting. However, mentorship is a good way to expedite learning based on the actual experience and learning of others.
3. Professional coaching: a unique alliance with the client that is completely focused on them and their growth objectives. Unlike the mentorship relationship, the emphasis is on the person being coached and not the coach or the coach’s experience. The coach merely creates the experience of the coaching process in a safe, supportive, and confidential environment. The coaching process is focused on increasing the client’s level of self-awareness of the current belief paradigms that may be capping their performance and results. Through the coaching process the client begins to understand that their current level of performance is not a representation of their potential. It is only a representation of their current level of awareness of their potential as accepted and believed by their subconscious mind. To move towards the client’s growth goals, the coach asks introspective questions that increase the client’s level of self-awareness of beliefs that may be holding them back. Again, in the coaching relationship the focus is on how the client sees the world, not on how the coach sees the world. The coach should only leave the confines of the coaching relationship to provide mentoring when the client asks. This is important because only through the client’s increased level of self- awareness is authentic, lasting change possible. This is because lasting change and personal growth normally only happen when new levels of self awareness appeal to the subconscious mind to create new beliefs. These new beliefs create the positive feelings supportive of the desired changes in behaviors, performance and results.