How Much Is Too Much Too Just "Let It Go."
Posted on October 15, 2017 by Jamie Grigolite, One of Thousands of ADD ADHD Coaches on Noomii.
When should we be expected to "let it go?" Is it even okay for someone to ask us to? Find out how much is too much.
How much is too much to just let it go?
You always hear people constantly repeating “just let it go..” but why should you let it go anyways? Was it an unforgivable act? Was it emotional? How do our emotions play into the word “forgiveness”?
Here’s the problem with being expected to “let it go” , there are times when letting it go has become no longer an option because this trauma has caused so much pain that it has become a part of us. It may only seem like a single fiber of 100 balls of yarn but, nevertheless, it’s there. You expect me to just disregard my own emotions, that I have felt so strongly about for so long? What?
As a coach, when I hear people reciting the age old phrase.. “let it go”, I cringe a little inside. There is no doubt that there are things in life that you should let go of from empty relationships, old flames, to that one opportunity you know you missed. Let the things go that do not make you.
When someone wrongs you, however, letting that individual go and letting the hurt that they left you with go, are apples and oranges. Sure, we can stop talking to them, delete their number, block them on social media, etc…. but when that person is gone what we have left is a very real and very painful disappointment that isn’t so easy to just let go. You know that eventually this pain will fade but it’s not going anywhere right now and just knowing that it won’t last forever, doesn’t seem like much when you are in the middle of an emotional trauma.
Telling someone that they must forgive another who has wronged them can feel extremely invalidating. It can feel as though you are putting my forgiveness for that person above my pain from that person. It can provoke feelings of loneliness in not being understood and it can be just as difficult as the primary trauma was to begin with.
All of these powerful emotions induced by three simple words. .. “let it go”.
When something has become a part of you, you do not just let it go!
You sit with it, you talk about it, you cry over it. .. but you also learn from it, and that’s not something that you want to just let go. Toxic people will not be changed by your kindness but with the help of time and you will eventually take this betrayal’s power over you and the difficult memories will most likely begin to fade and you will move on and find new happiness but there are often things that we will never truly let go of, not entirely anyways and that’s okay!
