Breakup? Channel your Energy Productively
Posted on September 15, 2017 by William Sather, One of Thousands of Leadership Coaches on Noomii.
Article is on how to channel the energy of a breakup into motivation you want.
A friend of mine brought to my attention that there seems to be a lot of “post breakup single women that are taking full control of their lives physically and mentally after the breakup.”
Granted this is one perspective and it seems to be a blanket statement with no data used other than his recent personal experiences. There still felt to be some deeper wisdom to his words. My intuition as a life coach and fellow human being agreed and activated to do my best to articulate it and show you how to apply it. My thoughts flashed to a male friend that harnessed the power of a breakup(not his choice) in his early 20’s to go on a self development rampage. He IS now a much better person with character he is proud of than he was during the relationship. After some talking and diving deeper, he has attributed the breakup as the catalyst for his identity enhancement. No way would he have read all the books or chose to have the experiences unless he feared getting the same negative heightened emotional experience again. Hmm. Makes sense. If you have ever had the experience of a breakup, or perceived the aftermath of one from a friend. There seems to be a possible process of grief they go through followed by a statement of “I am a better/stronger person because of it.”How can we use this fundamental truth for our benefit??
Truth of Life = Heightened Emotional experiences create a strong possibility for a change in the identity of the individual. This change in identity changes their behavior and the outcomes they get in life.
-What did they do internally to go from grief to displaying a character they are proud of?
-How can someone not have to go through such a negative experience yet still receive the benefits of the truths of the above statement?
-How can someone that has had a breakup in there past that hasn’t fully healed do the same?
Want a condensed answer? Life Coach William ENRAGE and ENGAGE!! Analogies seem to work very well in coaching to provide a framework to slow down thoughts in order to process them. Here is an analogy to give a template to better think through the situation. Cave man. Cave woman. Cave son.Man and Woman love son.
Leave cave.
Hunt and gather
Must find food.
Man and Woman see a turtle named Truth
Man and Woman see son step over turtle named Truth
Cave son takes 2 steps and dies.
…
Time goes by
…
Cave man and cave woman run away terrified whenever they see a turtle named Truth
…
5 years later
…
Cave man and woman see turtle named Truth
Emotions trigger to when son died
About to run…
Turtle screams! It wasn’t me! It was the poison frog named False next to me!
…
Cave man and women easily see it is True
They linked wrong beliefs to situation.
They no longer run from turtle
They run from poison frog named False
Hmmm…
Takeaways?
If you create “false beliefs” from a heightened emotional experience…
False Belief = any belief that limits you from being the best version of yourself
You can change them to “truth beliefs”
Truth Belief = Any belief that enables you to be your fulfilled/happy self.
Negative feelings arise from false beliefs. That is why they feel negative. They are wrong. They arise to tell you something. Your subconscious wants you to change them. That is why your subconscious shows you the negative feeling.
Can change them as quick as did cave man and cave woman. One moment of engaged thought leading to a realization.
-What negative beliefs have you had for a while that you can attribute to a heightened emotional experience?
-How can you be like the cave man and woman and see the Truth of it?
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