3 Ways to Make a Safe Exit From a Narcissistic Friend or Partner
Posted on August 31, 2017 by Miriam Racquel 'Meryl' Feldman, One of Thousands of Relationship Coaches on Noomii.
Narcissistic people are toxic and confusing. They throw our body and soul out of alignment. Here's a way out.
3 Ways to Make a Safe Exit From a Narcissistic Friend or Partner
Well, to be honest, you can’t really make a safe exit from a narcissist. That’s the bad news – it won’t feel safe. The good news is that it’s an exit. And that’s what counts. You’re free and then you’ll be safe.
Free from their manipulations, free from their charm, free from their incongruity. Free to be aligned with your soul, your spirit instead of theirs. At least their twisted one.
So how do you do this when it doesn’t feel safe? You get your brave on and know deeply that you are saving yourself and your soul. You are choosing to no longer live in confusion between the Narcissist’s charm and their need for you to love them more than you love yourself.
Here are the 3 ways:
1. Line up support in the way of friends, therapists, coaches and body healers. You’ll need a village behind you on this one. Narcissists are amazing liars and manipulators. You’ll need sane, truly kind people to keep telling you the deep truth about you – that you are a caring, kind individual who is leaving a toxic relationship. The narcissist will call you selfish, uncaring, and all other kind of labels that they can pull out of their hats. The sanity of others will be your saving grace and lifeline so you don’t get get stuck back in the Narcissist’s web.
The work of the body healers will help cleanse your being of the toxicity of the Narcissist’s poison. You’ve been like a frozen rabbit, unable to access your body’s natural fight and flight response. Your body registered the lies, the manipulations, the incongruity of outwardly nice, inwardly crooked. Your body wanted to run. But your thoughts, confusion and fear held you in place.
When you choose to leave, your body can do its thing – it can use the adrenalin of your fight and flight response. All that energy can flow and you’ll want to process the anger and true fear that you never expressed through running from the Narcissist or fighting for your soul. Maybe you once had tried, but they were adept at squashing that response because it threatened the status quo of their power over you.
2. Just leave. Exit. No explanations, no rationalizations and no excuses.
They will have a fit. No. Matter. What.
The narcissist will be as angry as a hive of hornets. She/He will sting like mad and slug all kinds of cruel, spiteful and toxic language at you. And that is why you are leaving. Because deep in your heart and spirit you knew that this person was capable of being this mean to you and who wants to be friends with someone who can harm you like this?
Most likely you’ve seen this side of them before. And it threw you out of alignment.
You didn’t know what to make of it. Isn’t this person your friend? Aren’t they generous and charming? Don’t they truly care about you? At least they’ve expressed all these beautiful, warm and fuzzy traits. With charm. And that’s why you entered the relationship in the first place.
They were just soooo nice. And everybody said how nice they are.
And you believed everybody. But little did everybody know that this charming, warm and fuzzy individual was a narcissist. You’ve got to be somewhat deep in the relationship to get this point about them. And then it’s too late. Then you are already in over your head and exiting will not be easy. They will attack and you will get bruised. And that’s why you arm yourself with safe, truly kind and loving individuals and professionals.
Because a hornet attack is dangerous. Dangerous to your mental, physical and spiritual health. You’ll have no clarity on your own.
That is the way with a narcissist. They are brutally confusing.
So, you must leave. Eventually you will get clear. Your alignment will be strengthened and you’ll stop questioning yourself.
And know that you will be grateful everyday that you took that very brave step to exit.
3. Remain completely disengaged. No conversations. Receive no calls or emails or texts from the Narcissist.
Block them from your cell phone and block them from your email. Receive nothing of their attempts to lure you back with their twisted lies and deceptions. Their cover ups.
You can do this.
