The Secret Power of the Introverted Business Leader
Posted on May 15, 2017 by David Justus, One of Thousands of Business Coaches on Noomii.
The Secret Power of the Introverted Business Leader and How to Use Your Quiet Nature to Your Advantage.
The name of this article is “The Secret Power of the Introverted Business Leader and How to Use Your Quiet Nature to Your Advantage." Before we go any further, please let me make it very clear that I am not trying to make you into an extrovert. Nothing I suggest will go against your natural tendencies. Instead, I will show you how to use these tendencies to your advantage. Additionally, I am not trying to sell you anything. My purpose is to share with you a SKILL to help bridge the gap from where you are in your personal life or career to where you want to be. If you need extra advice, however, I will be available. Fair enough? This article builds on three central points for the Introverted Business Leader: 1. The word “Introvert” is a stereotype because no one is 100 percent introverted or 100 percent extroverted. Everyone has various degrees of both – although if being extroverted is on one end of the personality scale, and introverted is on the other, you’re more introverted by nature. 2. Your being an “Introvert” – your natural tendencies, quieter personality type, and predisposition to be introspective – when understood, provides you with a distinct advantage over extroverts in business. 3. You can develop a SKILL, or use a formula, that allows you to proactively capitalize on your areas of strength as a way to reach or exceed your current business goals. Remember, this report is not about turning the Introverted Business Leader into an extrovert, but rather it’s about how you can be more successful because you are an Introvert. By understanding your natural tendencies, in business and in life, you can use these tendencies to your advantage! Calling someone an “Introvert,” however, is like saying the word “car.” They come in many shapes and sizes, colors and styles … some smarter, some faster, and some safer. That being said, cars have some common features which help us identify that it is in fact, a car and not a Segway. Understanding the unique features and benefits is what sets one car apart from the other. The successful Introvert understands his or her natural tendencies and then proactively uses these tendencies to stand apart from other business leaders. They have a specific SKILL or formula, which uses effective strategies to maximize their opportunities without doing things, they are uncomfortable with. They in effect, use this type of SKILL to become one of today’s top “Business Leaders.” When you are done with this report, you will have the base knowledge of just such a SKILL for your individual personality and for your business goals. Then, all you have to do is begin to implement the suggested formula and you will be on your way to reaching more of your potential. While the following vignettes are generalized, the situations faced by the Introverted Business Leader and the advice provided are real. These situations are about the success achieved by having a life/business coach come into our lives at the right time, with the right advice—and about being smart enough to listen. Why have a Formula? Because I have found that the easiest way to help someone with an introverted nature is to provide them an actionable SKILL, which they can apply to everyday situations. The steps are simple, yet effective, and are identified in detail in the next section.PREDICAMENT #1 – Attending Social Events
In business, there are situations by their very nature that require us to be more sociable. Some companies or people will even tell us how to act in such situations, (usually well-meaning advice conjured up by an extrovert). I can see you’re already cringing… Countless times as a business coach, clients share how as company leaders or business owners, they were supposed to make sure they interacted with as many people as possible at a dinner event. They were given the advice to just “roam the room making small talk.” The obvious problem with that strategy for the Introverted Business Leader is crowds, constant interaction, small talk, and having to stay for the whole event. Here is a simple strategy that I learned from the book, Small Talk, Big Results by Dianne Windingland. It’s called “Act like a host, not a guest.” I like to share this technique in my coaching because not only is it better for Introverts, it is a better strategy for meeting almost everyone at a social event. Arrive at the event 20 minutes early and offer to help the meeting planner by greeting people at the door. They rarely have anyone taking on that responsibility, so, they will appreciate your offer to help. As people arrive, greet them with a warm smile, shake hands, and thank them for coming. Then offer directions, such as where is the bar or bathroom, where they can purchase raffle tickets, etc. and POOF! They’re off!Now think about this strategy and how it played to your advantage because you’re an Introvert.
• First—crowds: By standing just outside the doorway, you do not become over stimulated from too many people being in one place. • Second—constant interaction: You will see people in moderation and for a specific purpose, and more important, you will interact briefly with almost everyone attending the event. • Third—small talk: By greeting people and offering directions as they enter the event, you avoid mindless small talk, yet people appreciate seeing you. • Lastly—having to stay for the whole event: So, you came 20 minutes early and unless you’re a featured speaker or important figure at the event, you can leave right after dinner, or whenever you need or want to, because you have already interacted with almost everyone at the event. They won’t even notice that you are gone! Now compare that to the original extrovert’s advice of just “roaming the room making small talk.” Odds are they came late because they wanted to make a grand entrance. You might even pass them as you leave and they arrive. No matter how quickly they roam the room using small talk, they will never talk with as many people as you did. As a matter of fact, most people will not even remember seeing them. As for you however, everyone will remember talking with you!PREDICAMENT #2 – SHOWING APPRECIATION TO OTHERS
Here is an interesting statistic: “69% of employees say they’d work harder if they were better appreciated and recognized.” As a business leader, you understand this concept and agree that employee appreciation would be of benefit to your company. But again, it is easier said than done… Here is the problem employee appreciation creates for Introverts who are quiet by nature, not good at verbally expressing feelings, and who do not like the spotlight—they just don’t do it! I know they feel bad, but that is “just the way they are” … Uugh! Let me share with you a little coaching advice for employee appreciation – send a card to their spouse or loved one! You can buy 10 blank cards for about $5. Inside you write:Dear John,
I wanted to let you know what a good job your wife Lisa is doing for our company. Recently, she (identify a specific task you appreciated). We are lucky to have her.Sincerely,
Why does this strategy play to your advantage as an Introvert?
First, it does not require you to verbally express yourself or even talk for that matter. There is not a spotlight moment where you are required to make a presentation. Everything is done privately. The advantage is that not only does it show the employee that you appreciate their efforts, but it shows their main support system, i.e. their spouse too. If they are not married, send the card to their mother or children! The extrovert most likely would have talked up their appreciation in front of the whole team. This might sound good, but if the person being recognized is also an Introvert, then it might have just the opposite effect. Plus, wouldn’t you rather have the employee show up the next day and let you know privately that he/she received your card and how much they and their family appreciated the thought? Some clients will say, “David, why can’t I just send them an email?” Research shows that the average person receives 80+ emails a day. So, by the end of the week, they will have over 400 emails in their inbox. So, what happened to your email? Lost and forgotten! Now in contrast, because we so rarely receive a physical card, other than for our birthday or major holidays, your card will be around for weeks, months, or even years. It could end up on their refrigerator, where every time they open the door they feel appreciated. Maybe they will bring it to work and put it on their desk, so every time they come in, they are reminded that they are appreciated. It’s appreciation that keeps on giving!PREDICAMENT #3 – OVER COMMITMENT (CAN’T SAY NO)
I belong to a networking group and we were looking to invite new members. I reached out to a dog trainer and she seemed very interested. The meeting came and went without her attending. I followed up with an email and again invited her. She again committed to come to the next meeting. And again, the meeting came and went without her attending. Now there has been silence for several weeks. An extrovert would just keep calling, but I realized that I had in fact, already received an answer. In an article I read once, the author called this a “Canadian No,” but I like to call it the “Introverted No.” Most introverts do not like to say “no” because they do not want to hurt other people’s feelings or to appear unfriendly, so they just stop responding. This does not mean that they are more likely than extroverts to say “yes,” it simply means that they do not like to directly say “no.” The Introverted No applies to face to face conversations, on the phone, text, email, evites and every other form of communication. No matter how painful or annoying it is to keep being asked, Introverts would rather feel the stress of being pestered than to simply say no. Why is “no” such a hard word for Introverts to say? The problem is that many Introverts do not like to appear confrontational and would rather seem standoffish because at least that helps them stay safe in their personal space. They tend to overthink situations, often worrying what other people are thinking about them. They immediately regret saying “yes” and will soon start to feel guilty about over committing.
So, what is the answer for the Introverted Business Leader? One method that is very helpful comes from Jack Canfield’s book, The Success Principles. It is called, “It’s not against you; it’s for me.” Here is how it works: When a colleague calls with another invitation to a charity gala, which would really provide you and your company great exposure to some area bigwigs, but falls on the same night as your son’s baseball game, you can say: “You know, my saying no to you is not against you or the charity. It’s a very worthy cause, but I recently realized that I am over committing myself outside the home. So, even though I appreciate the invitation, the fact is that I made a commitment to spend more time with my family. It’s not against you; it’s for us.”Now think about how strategy uses your strengths as an Introvert:
• You like to think things through before making a decision. By setting your priorities ahead of time, you are able to politely say no because you have a good, well-thought-out reason; • You do not like to appear confrontational. With this strategy for saying no, your stress level goes down because you do not have to avoid the phone calls, emails or texts from the person who invited you; • And, family relationships are important to you. By saying no, you can start focusing your time and energy on the people and activities that are your most important priority. Obviously, there are numerous other situations where you can use your Introverted nature to your advantage. The following section will help you develop a SKILL for Success based on your individual situation and tendencies. You can use this formula to solve almost any situation. Let me begin by emphasizing that you having introverted tendencies gives you a distinct advantage over extroverts. Because every person is unique, the key to success is understanding how to identify your natural tendencies and to use this new SKILL to achieve your desired outcomes without compromising who you are at your core. The word SKILL is an acronym for the five-step formula of Summarize, Know, Identify, Leverage, and Later evaluate. Using the first vignette shared, “attending social events,” let’s look more closely at the steps of the SKILL formula: 1. Summarize the situation. This is as simple as it sounds: “attending a dinner event.” 2. Know what you want. Identify the goal or what you need to accomplish: “interact with as many people as possible.” 3. Identify what you don’t want. Identify three to five things that you don’t like or don’t want to happen. From our example: “crowds, constant interaction, small talk and having to stay for the whole event.” This is where your list of ten core tendencies you identified earlier comes into consideration. 4. Leverage those “don’t wants” by turning them into an advantage. Be creative and flexible and think of possible solutions. This may require you to look at the situation from different perspectives. However, if you find it challenging to come up with viable solutions, this is where the use of a business coach is beneficial. a. You don’t like “crowds” turns into “arrive 20 minutes early” and “greet people at the door.” This works to your advantage because you are at the event but not stuck in the crowd. b. You don’t like “constant interaction” turns into “controlled interaction.” This works to your advantage because you see most people for only a brief moment as they enter the event. c. You don’t like “small talk” turns into an advantage because you have a purpose by “greeting people with a smile, shaking hands, thanking them for coming, and offering directions to the bar or bathroom.” d. You don’t want to “have to stay for the whole event.” This works to your advantage because you can leave when appropriate since you have accomplished what you wanted by “interacting with as many people as possible.” 5. Later, evaluate the outcome. This is an important step to do after the activity, and not during the activity. The reason you do it after is because you do not want to be thinking about what you’re doing at the activity, you’ve already planned that out. Instead, just do it and evaluate the outcome later, especially if this type of situation is going to occur again. Evaluate: a. What were the outcomes? b. What worked well? c. What would you do differently next time? The outcomes in our example is that “you got to see almost everyone who attended the event” and because people tend to remember the first and last thing that happen, “they will remember talking with and seeing you at the event.” Now here is your turn to give the SKILL formula a try. Go ahead, give it a try! You can do it! And remember, if you need extra help, Request a Consultation!