How to make better decisions? Discover your unique values!
Posted on May 09, 2017 by Reka Nikoletta Gazda, One of Thousands of Leadership Coaches on Noomii.
Our inner compass combined with our experience equals strong decisions when we're torn between options.
Research* says that we make 226.7 decisions per day, just about food. Imagine how many more decisions we are making each day! Yet, there are always a few decisions that we mull over and over again. They appear in various areas of our lives: Which path to choose? Do I want to quit my job? What is my purpose in life? Is this relationship worth to pursue? We’re torn between the possibilities and pure logic with a pen and paper doesn’t help.
“It’s not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.” ― Roy Disney
Values In Decision-making?
In my twenties, I believed that the big decisions are to be made through cold calculations. Little did I know that my method was not future-proof. You see, when you are making a conscious decision based on your logic and beliefs, you are using your past experiences to make a decision about your future. Sometimes, these past experiences are simply not sufficient and that’s when you get stuck in the process. You think about it just before getting out of bed. You contemplate it over breakfast. On your way to the office. While sipping your tea. And the thought appears again when you’re watching a rerun episode of Friends on TV…
What if I told you that you can add an extra factor into your decision-making? According to the Barrett Values Center: “Every decision we make is either a conscious or unconscious attempt to satisfy our needs.” Meaning, that if you want to make a conscious decision, you gotta know what your needs are. And these needs aren’t necessarily physiological ones. Check Maslow’s hierarchy of needs on Wikipedia: you have different needs to be fulfilled at each level. And you consider different things important to you at each level.
What you consider important appears in your values. These are the things that motivate and energize you. They shape how you view your future. When you include your needs and values in your decision-making, you are basing your choice on what kind of future you want for yourself. You shift from past-focus (experiences, beliefs) to future-focus (values) and get yourself unstuck.
Let’s Follow The Inner Compass
You might be thinking now: “Is this all I need to do? Know my values??” If it was that easy, there wouldn’t be 10.4 million search results on Google for the words ‘personal values decision making’. The difficulty is not in knowing your values but acting upon them.
“The truth of the matter is that you always know the right thing to do. The hard part is doing it.” ― General Norman Schwarzkopf
I’m sure there are people that you look up to because they make the “right decisions” and they follow what they stand for. There’s a word describing this quality: integrity.
You are in integrity when your actions are aligned with your needs, values and wants. It’s one of the social and emotional intelligence competencies. Let’s see a few signs of being in integrity. You
- do what’s right, even if it’s not personally rewarding,
- keep your word, commitments and promises,
- are open with others about your values, beliefs, feelings, and actions,
- treat all people fairly, no matter their place in the organization.
Lacking this quality, you
- have trouble identifying your own opinions and feelings of what’s right and what’s wrong,
- do what is expected rather than what is right,
- are easily influenced by others,
- don’t challenge the way things are done, even if they go against your established values.
In other words, when you’re out of integrity and your actions don’t match your values, you’re living someone else’s life. Don’t get me wrong, it’s alright to want to fit in and align your actions with values different from yours. Just make sure you understand why you are accepting those values and how they relate to you own core values.
Focus
1. How would you benefit from knowing your values?
2. In what situations do you feel motivated?
3. When do you experience frustration and loss of energy?
4. What is the one thing that you can do today to move towards alignment with your values?
Where’s Your True North?
Bibliography
Wansink, Brian and Jeffrey Sobal (2007), “Mindless Eating: The 200 Daily Food Decisions We Overlook,” Environment and Behavior 39:1, 106-123
Institute for Social+Emotional Intelligence® Certified Coach Class Documentation
