How to Overcome Frustrating Conflicts Like An Expert
Posted on May 09, 2017 by Reka Nikoletta Gazda, One of Thousands of Leadership Coaches on Noomii.
7 questions to improve your conflict management skills.
Have you ever gotten yourself in hot water during a conflict? You know, the kind of situation that keeps escalating despite your efforts. I know I had my fair share of them. At busy times, I would just brush it all off of my plate with an excuse that it wasn’t my fault. However, I would still often wonder what I could have done differently. What would an expert do?
Experts improve their skills by observing and analyzing challenging cases. To make it more interesting: Imagine that you’re watching TV while sitting on your couch. A movie comes on, one of your recent conflicts with someone. Now let’s resist the urge to change channels… While the situation is unfolding in front of your eyes, ask yourself these questions and answer them one-by-one.
1. What feelings do you recognize on yourself in the movie?
2. How can the other person feel?
3. What could you say to the other person to calm them?
4. What constructive proposals can you come up with to resolve the conflict you have?
5. If you put yourself in the other persons shoes, how would you react to your proposal?
6. How can you address misunderstandings during and after the discussion while keeping the cooperation moving forward?
7. What personal or organizational limits do you apply to the situation if it keeps escalating?
I invite you to brainstorm many possible answers to the above questions and to even write them down. Should you get stuck, you could request support from someone you trust: a friend, a colleague, your coach.
This exercise can give you tools to manage your next conflict. If done regularly, it helps to improve your social and emotional intelligence.
Let me now how it works for you and feel free to share more tips on overcoming conflicts.
