FOCUS

Posted on April 20, 2017 by Marianne Cedebrerg, One of Thousands of ADD ADHD Coaches on Noomii.

I am so fascinated with the power of the mind and how our own mind can take us to change from one state to another or keep us doing things continuously what we do without any importance on knowing that that is not what we are supposed to be doing.
The book ENCAMBIO of Estanislao Bachracch explains how each action you perform requires the function of your memory, this means that you must remember the details of your intentions of change to be able to achieve them.
Since shows that we have short term, medium term and long term memory, obviously short term memory is less process in our minds since it is something new, thus when we find ourselves in a process of change or we want to achieve something new, automatically our minds will take us to the long term memory which is much more established in our minds, and it is for this exact reason that automatically we do what we are used to and we repeat old errors.
Thus, it is very important that when we are trying to achieve a positive and happy change in our lives we focus a lot on the intentions of change, that we must be curious like children, that we should take ourselves seriously, that we must notice that the learning process of something new is so much more important than simply the final product and also that each day you try and learn something new so that way you will be going into your own memory.
Now good, one thinks saying all of this it should be really simple but how can I truly achieve it when a change is presented to me and I want to have a positive result, the best way to do it is to focus in the solutions since the focusing in the solutions will take you to the future, it will take you to think outside of the box and other different alternatives, do not focus on the problem because focusing in the problem (I like using the word situation and not problem) will take you back to the past.
To give you an example instead of asking you: why did this situation happen? , Ask yourself: what is that I want to achieve or how to reach my objective? , The only fact to remove is the why in the questions and it will help you focus on the solutions and not in the past.
To clarify things I will tell you a personal experience:
Las year in a trip we took we were staying in a small town in France for two days so my son could practice one of his passions which is Golf, the day we were going back home we woke up early to get ready and leave for the airport in the moment that we went to reception to do the check out and ask for a taxi to the airport the owner of the hotel sadly not very helpful, told me that that day was a holiday which means there were no taxis that day, and she had no idea how we could get to the airport, in my moment of discomfort I focused on the problem, why did I not do the check out the day before, why did I not ask for a taxi the day before, and that I was going to loose the flight and my connections. In which I focus so much on to help others to achieve their objectives. I took a deep breath and I decided to find a solution for my objective, which was the trip. Thus to my mind came so many other alternatives such as taking the bus to a place where it is more likely to get taxis, leaving the hotel because it did not give me any alternatives and ask for help on other little stores around the area. Thus I took my children’s hands and bags in hand and we started to walk towards the bus stop, without luck, and apparently the busses would not let us take luggage with us, but I stayed focused on my objective and I asked for help in a beauty salon, thank god I found kind people, and at all their disposal of helping me they were able to find me a taxi, a friend of theirs that was able to take me to the airport and I was in time to take my flight.
Another example more clear in long term that I can give you is focusing your thoughts on your objectives.
My husband and I since 14 years ago took the decision to leave our country with the clear objective to be able to have better labor opportunities, grow as partners and family wise, and finding a better future for our kids.
Being away from your country is sometimes painful and sad, because you are far from your roots, from your life friends, from your family and you miss so many things which at their time made you who you are today, but in those hard moments, we will not focus in them because we left? Because we left our family? Because we left our friends? , etc., we focus on our main objective of growth for every single member of our family, in the goals we want to achieve; and it is then newly when our mind opens and looks at the big achievements that we are making professionally, family wise, creating a beautiful future for our kids being citizens of the world with different languages.
It is the focus of our main objective that brings us strength, gives us love, and opens our minds to continue with enthusiasm and happiness in this journey that we chose to follow.
With these examples I show you the importance of focusing in the solutions and the objectives and not in the problem.
Always remember that if you focus on the problem, your mind will not take you to the future, and will provide you with thoughts that will not help you change the situation, and you will be able to commit the same mistakes, if you focus on the solution and the objective, your mind will be willing to take out those memories in short memory that will help you think in a different way and achieve your objectives.
I dare you that for the next week and during the different activities you do try to notice on what you are focusing on…
Are you focusing on the daring situation? Or are you focusing on the solution?
Are you focusing on your objective?
And what impact is there in your thoughts and on your performance…