Top 3 reasons why you should let go of toxic friends to be successful

Posted on April 01, 2017 by Erik Dee, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

It’s 6 pm, and you’re applying the finishing touches to your first YouTube video. You’ve made the decision to follow your passion and become a full-time video game reviewer. After all, the majority of people you know agree that you’re an expert at being objective and critical. Most importantly, you are driven and passionate about it, and your past experiences point toward the fact that you are excellent at it. Plus you’ve mastered the long and hard process of coming up with “that’s what she said jokes.”

It’s time to take a leap of faith. You feel the butterflies in your stomach while you nervously you click on publish. You did it! You’ve just started your new career. You’re ecstatic. It’s the beginning of a new life for you. With that adrenaline rush still in your veins, you call your childhood friend John to tell him about your achievement and how awesome it feels. How do you think this conversation will go? If you said not well, you’re a pretty good guesser. Still, I doubt you should quit your job and start a professional guessing hotline. But I digress.

Reason #1: People are afraid to be left behind
John destroyed you. “You don’t have what it takes,” he said. “You had a good job, why did you throw it all away to do silly YouTube videos?” But before we try to understand why he said the things he said, let’s take a minute and talk about John. He lives a life of resignation and despises happy, prosperous, and wealthy people. He believes that he wasn’t destined for greatness. People like him will regularly remind you that you shouldn’t have high hopes and be content with what you have. After all, it could be worse. For instance, you could become wealthy, and we wouldn’t want that, right? (sigh).

People who live a life of resignation will systematically put you down every time you try something different that could propel you to new heights. They are fine as long as you stay at their level, but the moment you start elevating yourself, they try as hard as they can to pull you back down. If only they were to realize how much potential they have, and how lucky they are to have an ambitious person like you in their lives. Unlike them, you want them to succeed in every aspect of their lives.

Unfortunately, these people often account for the majority of people we know. They don’t want you to succeed because they fear they’ll be left behind. That’s why people will tell you things like: “you can’t be like this,” “you don’t have what it takes,” and the list goes on and on.

Reason #2: Success attracts success
Some of your friends are about as successful as you are. Some of them, not so much. But how many people in your life today (not just mere acquaintances) are more successful than you? The honest answer is probably not many, or none. Observing and being around successful people gives you the opportunity to learn what works and that’s what you need to do more of. They key here to add more successful people to your network. That’s how you get new opportunities, and how you take your career to the next level. I could give you every bit of information I have when it comes to having the career of your dreams, but you won’t achieve the results you want if you don’t have the right people around you.

People at your level have the same aspirations, and level of motivation as you and are more likely to encourage you to pursue your dreams. They believe in you because they think and are like you. People that are currently more successful than you, or that have knowledge you don’t have will often guide you, or act as mentors. They will help you reach new heights. They will not be jealous of your success because they were once in your shoes. Competent people will not feel threatened by you because they know how great they are at what they do and that there’s room for others in their field. They know and understand that competition is the key to innovation in any market or aspect of life.

A long time ago, I just was fresh out of college, and about to start my first real job as a software developer. I was lucky enough to work with the best software architect I ever had the chance to meet. A few others, including myself, had just graduated and we were still green. He took it upon himself to take our skills to the next level and boy did he deliver. He kept feeding us information and knowledge all while mentoring us. He wasn’t afraid that one day one of us would become better than him, that’s precisely what he wanted. That’s what exceptional people do, and for that, they make the world a better place.

Reason #3: You’re wasting valuable resources
Trying to save people that drag you down is about as effective as a woman trying to turn a bum into a gentleman. Spoiler alert: it fails 99% of the time. I’m not saying you look at them condescendingly, but it would be wise not to spend too much time listening to their rhetoric either. You are who you hang around with; there’s just no way around it. I too felt guilty when I realized it. I knew I would have to let go of certain people that had been important in my life. We all reach a crossroads at a certain point in our lives. The question is: should you follow someone heading straight into a ravine? The answer no, but you knew that already.

Focus on your dreams and find people going in the same direction as you. Even better, surround yourself with people that are farther along the path you’re walking. If leaving some people behind is a moral dilemma for you, snap out of it, immediately. Some of them will one day realize their potential, and that day, they will seek you out. But until then, you cannot change them. I know you’ve tried. I know I’ve tried and failed miserably. The truth is, unsolicited advice is perceived as arrogance, and it will be met with hostility. It’s just the way it is. You can’t save people that don’t want to be saved.

The bottom line is, you don’t have to lie, cheat and steal your way to the top. Take from the best, but also learn to give back. Everybody has something to give that can help others. When someone gives, we all grow. I’m not saying: “give all you trade secrets away.” That’s just foolish. I’m saying you need to surround yourself with like-minded people. Some will be at your level and some ahead of you. On thing’s for sure, if you use the give and take strategy, it’ll change your life forever.

If you liked this post, please spread the word and share it with the people you care about. Also, don’t forget to visit my website at www.erikdeeblog.com to know how you can turn your life around and live your dreams.
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Erik Dee offers professional services to help you improve your relationships, health, wealth and career. Please visitwww.erikdeeblog.com for more tips and to find out how you can make your dreams come true. You success story begins here!