NIX THAT NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION
Posted on February 07, 2017 by Adrienne Oneto, One of Thousands of Career Coaches on Noomii.
New Year's resolutions are appealing because we can decide what we want to change. A stated resolution can be a small symptom of a much larger problem
¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬Jocelyn, I am so glad to have the opportunity to start the New Year with our session today. Your note to me yesterday stated you want to concentrate on your New Year’s resolution…
Yes. I start each New Year resolved to lose 20 pounds, and although I lose the weight, I always gain it back by the end of the year. This year, I am hoping that you can help be figure out how to permanently lose the weight.
Why is losing these 20 pounds important to you?
Well, when I am 20 pounds lighter I feel better, I drop a dress size, I think I look better, I have more energy. I am healthier for sure.
Okay. So this is a New Year’s resolution with a pattern – you achieve your resolution, and then gain the weight back. What happens here?
I don’t know. I exercise regularly, and understand how to eat properly to shed the pounds. People notice the weight loss – I get lots of compliments. My husband tells me I look great, but my husband often tells me I look great. Anyhow, I have always contended that thinner people are more respected in the business world – they command more respect, more credibility; they are validated through their success.
Has this been your personal experience?
(Silence)
Well, when I think I look good, I am more on my game. I start each workday with so much enthusiasm. I work harder and harder. Then I don’t get that choice assignment, I am not invited to be a member of the team that gets all the visibility. I am not the one asked to brief my boss on project status. I work late and miss my exercise classes. I start to feel exhausted…sometimes defeated. I snack. When I am so upset I start to lose control.
What do you need to do to regain control?
Being successful in my career is very important to me. We talked last time about how I am the first member of my family to get through college—all those part-time jobs, all those loans. I am very good at my job. But I have hit a brick wall and cannot seem to advance no matter how hard I work, or how well I work.
(Long silence)
I think it was Einstein who said one definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. I see it so clearly now – I keep focusing on 20 pounds and this is only distracting me from the real issues I need to address here. Can you help me figure out what I need to do to get out of my own way here?
