Shed the Illusion that Holidays are Perfect Days

Posted on December 07, 2016 by Jodi Peary, One of Thousands of Relationship Coaches on Noomii.

Combining the Holidays & Divorce Can Feel Wretched!

December can feel like running a holiday marathon. It’s a frenzied time, but the stress and overwhelm are magnified when divorcing. I understand, from personal and professional experience, what you are going through. Holidays are not perfect days.

You are not alone. Many people, including those not involved in a divorce, begin to feel depressed during this time of year. We strive to meet irrational expectations in an attempt to make up for imagined disappointments and inadequacies from the rest of the year. We try to transform our homes into picture-perfect wonderlands, try to hold the best party, and strive to give the ideal presents to our children and others we care about. If we try to convince ourselves that all is fine and that we are experiencing the most wonderful time of the year, within ourselves, we may feel a loss of control over the life we planned for and invested in.

Shed the Illusion that Holidays are Perfectly, Magical Times

Things do not have to be perfect in order to celebrate and experience joy. Real life is not a Pinterest board and the Food Network does not reflect the standard for holiday meals. These are examples of impossible ideals which can be doubly painful for individuals coping with separation and divorce. Holidays can feel like the season is twisting the knife a little more into our already aching hearts.

Forget unattainable standards! You are going though a rough spot. The timing is horrible because of the holiday season. However, you have a chance to create your own picture of the holidays. Breathe deeply. Feel the joy that pulses with independence. Choose the things that give you comfort rather than unattainable ideals.

If I can be of help, don’t hesitate to get in touch.

Jodi