You can only miss out if you don't know what you want
Posted on November 30, 2016 by Jim Higgins, One of Thousands of Career Coaches on Noomii.
Don't let the Fear Of Missing Out (FOMO) dictate your future. Achieve the future you actually want.
My wife and I have always tried to be very conscious of not overbooking our children. We want them to have the opportunity to do the sports and activities that they’re interested in but with four kids, we know they – and we – can’t do it all and be everywhere.
With my oldest child entering middle school, I (wrongly) assumed that after school activities would be slowing down since more would be required of her academically. While my wife, my daughter and I had a conversation about what she wanted to remain involved in, I realized that if my daughter had her way, we’d be busier than ever.
And it had nothing to do with being interested in the actual activities.
As much as she had enjoyed Girl Scouts in elementary school, a variety of factors led to it being almost an afterthought by the end of 5th grade. As my wife and I talked over the summer, we assumed that would be the first activity to go. We quickly learned however, that it wasn’t going away quietly.
“What happens if I’m hanging out with my friends and they start talking about stuff that happened at Girl Scouts?” my daughter asked. “I’ll be left out."
It was that phrase that gave me an entirely new insight into my child – no longer was she at the age where she wanted to do things because they looked like fun, she wanted to be involved so her friends couldn’t have fun without her being there.
After redirecting her thoughts by highlighting the activities she was already doing that some of her Girl Scout friends weren’t, I realized my daughter is now afflicted with the Fear Of Missing Out (or FOMO).
Many teens and young adults are likewise afflicted. In fact, when I ask parents of teenagers what their children struggle with most, one of the most common answers is that they fear they’ll miss out on something special when they have to choose between two or more options.
When I coach teenagers and young adults struggling with FOMO, my goal is to help them realize that there are things they don’t have to be a part of. I start by helping them ID their desires and values, and as we start to uncover what is really important to them, they begin to let go of their fear.
Once they know what matters, they can create a clear path with a desirable goal and achieve it. If the shortest distance between two points is a straight line, the trip can be made so much faster once we know where to start and where to end.
And FOMO will no longer matter.
