Through The Potholes To Find Happiness
Posted on November 02, 2016 by Elaine Cohen, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
True and sustainable joy is a result of a weaving together the stray threads that have caused suffering. Let's investigate them with compassion.
Getting to a state of ease and flow is often the result of many shifts. The simple ‘goals’ — a new job, more exercise, being organized — won’t solve the multifaceted challenges of our complex lives and our feelings about it. Certainly, these goals can support the mission of happiness and ease but true and sustainable ‘flow’ is a result of a weaving together the stray threads that cause us suffering. Investigate the variety of missteps, disappointments, failures with an attitude of responsibility, acceptance and self compassion.
I’m convinced that all of the ‘potholes’ we fall into or are thrown into are necessary. All the grief we have experienced can result in profound lessons and insights if we look hard enough for it. Being alert to ourselves and taking non-judgmental viewpoints (although not easy to do) enables us to understand our experiences with curiosity and connection. Major episodes in our life are not ‘deleted’ even if we think we ‘got over it’. It’s necessary to excavate! If not, more ‘potholes’ will be created. Sorry!
For example, I had a crazy experience as a 6 month old new-born baby. I was accidentally burned by a scalding hot cup of tea and as a result was in the hospital for days. Even though there is no way to prove this, I’m convinced that the reoccurring nightmares that traumatized me fairly regularly until I was in college was my unconscious working out the pain and fear related to that episode. In addition, I had a very exaggerated fear of physical pain which often resulted in panic which I’m sure was the result of this burn. And lastly, I had a very active imagination (aka anxiety!) in my everyday life that a catastophe loomed and I was totally doomed. A jackpot of suffering – yuck!
I ‘peeled the onion’ on these tendencies and traveled back to the what is likely the source of this. When I realized the nightmares and panic of pain probably was related to my burn, the nightmares disappeared and the panic lessoned. My doomsday thoughts don’t linger now instead they just cruise by like a passing cloud in the sky.
I’m sure that going into and through the ‘potholes’ will lead to clarity and eventual ease and happiness. We can manage the ‘potholes’ and navigate them in a way where we don’t create new ones for ourself. Challenges are envitable but suffering is optional.
Keep in mind the magnitude of gifts that you have and feel grateful. Be mindful of how you are creating your life. Remember we have the solutions to feel good and great, we simply need to investigate our ‘holes’ and truly repair them.
