Overcome the fear of rejection
Posted on October 13, 2016 by Vasudha Jha, One of Thousands of Relationship Coaches on Noomii.
Six simple strategies to defeat the overwhelming fear of rejection.....read on!
Mankind has always relied on a social structure for life preservation and sustenance. In the primitive world, being left alone could make us susceptible to predators and be a risk to our life. While things seem to have changed in modern times, and living alone is not really perilous, we still carry the useless and often subconscious fear of rejection and of being left alone.
The fear of rejection is also closely connected with the fear of being judged; and can be one of the most influential of all fears. Very often it also stems from the fact that we are also quick to judge others – it may be conscious or sub-conscious; and very often this can be a kind of rejection; maybe not of the person but certain qualities. Being rejected for our qualities, thoughts and actions is the most influential of all fears.
Six strategies to help counter the fear of rejection:
1. The world itself is not perfect: Many greatest talents in the world today were once rejected – consider few of the most famous in India – Amitabh Bacchan’s voice was rejected by All India Radio; our PM Shri. Narendra Modi was rejected a US visa; Swami Vivekananda was rejected as a speaker as a delegate of the Parliament during his visit to Chicago….. and the list goes on!
Rejection makes the fruit of success sweeter and is more like divine protection.
2. Consider the worst: Most often than not looking at the worst possible scenario and examining its consequences will convince us that the outcome may not always be as bad as we fear.It helps to list every fear that we have & the anticipated consequences. Most often than not, we will always have a solution for our worst seeming problems. In every situation that promises to be a disaster, there is surely the seed of success!
3. Even a seed needs to be buried in the earth to blossom to its fullest potential.
Examine previous rejection: What may have felt really bad at the time does not seem so awful at present. Perhaps the rejection actually led us to pastures that are greener and hold much more meaning in our lives today!
Realize that not getting what we want may be our greatest blessing, although in disguise.
4. List the best and most desirable outcome of any situation: Keeping a list of successes which resulted from rejection, will provide the necessary motivation to face the fear and take the next step anyway.
Is the anticipation of a negative outcome keeping us away from positive growth?
5. Take a deep breath. Deep breathing oxygenates your blood, slows your heart rate and calms any feelings of anxiety. We can use our body to focus our minds away from the fear. Calming our minds also makes us aware of any limiting self-beliefs that we may be holding with regard to the situation.
Rejected pieces aren’t failures; unwritten pieces are.
6. Act anyway. If our life is not in danger, we should act anyway. Giving ourselves the opportunity to fail and make mistakes is the biggest opportunity in this life. This is where we grow and learn and imbibe in ourselves the infinite wisdom of the universe. This is just our chance to change and become a better version of who we are today! It may also lead us to find our purpose in life and be redirected to our special life path.
“Every time I thought I was being rejected from something good, I was actually being re-directed to something better.” – Steve Maraboli
So let us go ahead and embrace rejection, allow ourselves to fail without feeling like a failure. In this lies the genesis of self-discovery and a life that we want to build for ourselves, not a life that others envisage for us!
