Identity Theft
Posted on September 13, 2016 by Dennis Tyrrell, One of Thousands of Executive Coaches on Noomii.
Who Stole Your Identity?
Identity Theft
Living in an age where Identity Theft is so prevalent, hearing the term alone is enough to make the hair on the back of our neck stand up. And it should! It’s easy to find examples of people that have literally lost “everything” and taken decades to reclaim their lives, if they ever did. In 2014, it is estimated that Identity Theft affected the lives of 17.6 million Americans, costing over $15 billion dollars, according to statistics released by the Department of Justice in September, 2015. While these numbers are staggering, the true cost of Identity Theft cannot be accurately measured by statistics in the traditional sense. We think of Identity Theft as something that happens to us. Something out of our control. The reality is, in many cases, our identity isn’t stolen, we GIVE it away…
The Identity Theft I’m speaking of isn’t a crime committed against us, and it’s not a crime that someone will go to prison for. The type of Identity Theft discussed in this article is more insidious in nature, as it happens over time without us realizing that it’s actually happening. Sure, we go to great lengths to protect our financial identity and our identifiable information. But do we really protect our personal identity as well as we think we do? Of course, you would never consider giving someone you don’t know access to your driver’s license, credit card, and social security number, and with good reason. But the fact remains, every single day pieces of our identity are stolen by giving up or forgetting who we really are, what we really want, and where we really want to be in life…
What parts of your identity have you allowed to be stolen? Where’s that person with all the hopes and dreams gone? How did you become the person you are instead of who you wanted to be? How many directions do you allow yourself to be pulled in that aren’t in a direction you want to go? Of course, we all have obligations and responsibilities; bosses, jobs, kids, spouses, etc… It’s easy to get emotionally attached and caught up in the daily grind of doing for everyone else and not realize that you’ve strayed so far off course from the life you were supposed to have. We learn to settle for what’s right in front of us instead of pursuing what we really want and who we really are. We justify losing our identity by making others and everything else around us our purpose; and in many cases, adopting the attitude of a “martyr”. Sure, as well adjusted human beings, most of us derive great pleasure from doing something nice for others, but losing your identity goes much deeper than possessing a selfless attitude. It’s about the pieces of your identity that are lost every time you participate in or continue to engage in something that is completely misaligned with your beliefs and values. For example; have you ever stayed in a bad relationship too long? Beat yourself up trying to live up to someone else’s standard? Compromised your values and beliefs in order to “get along”? We all have to some extent…
I know what you’re thinking… I’ve heard it countless times from my clients. “I’m an independent person!! I would NEVER let anyone steal MY identity!! I’m my TRUE self 100% of the time!!” We all want to declare how fiercely independent we are. But if we’re being honest with ourselves, a majority of the bravado about our independence is based in fears and insecurities that we carry around with us each day. Still don’t believe you give away pieces of your identity?? How about giving up what you want and who you are once you become a parent? Sure, parenthood comes with personal sacrifice, but parenthood is supposed to be a part of your identity, NOT all of it. Have you ever found yourself asked by your boss to engage in an activity that was out of alignment with your personal beliefs?? Everyone that has been employed by someone else has faced this challenge. We go along with what our boss wants us to do, knowing it’s WRONG for us to participate. However, we justify compromising our values and beliefs in the name of a paycheck or career advancement. But to what cost??
Understand, this article is NOT encouraging selfish behavior or discounting the fact that our goals, values, and belief systems can evolve as we experience life events, but rather to illustrate just how easy it is to lose our identity when we continue to live a lifestyle misaligned with our core beliefs. We are all so much more than employees, fathers, mothers, spouses, or any other title we place on ourselves. We are each unique individuals, worthy of acceptance because of who we are; NOT what we can do for others. Until we stop thinking about Identity Theft in the traditional sense and really consider the emotional cost of losing our identity, we run the risk of losing ourselves for good…
Often times, the realization of Identity Theft can bring out intense emotions and pain that’s been suppressed for years. Wrestling with who you’ve become and where you’ve ended up can be a difficult process to endure. Fortunately, you don’t have to struggle alone…
When you’re ready to discover yourself again, Tyrrell Coaching & Consulting’s certified, experienced, coaching staff is here to guide and empower you to liberate yourself from the soul crushing effects of Identity Theft. Contact us for more information and take the first step towards creating the life you want to live.
