3 reasons why advice is not advisable
Posted on September 12, 2016 by Anastasia Krasnoshtein, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
Do you like giving advice and taking one? Learn why it could be counterproductive for you.
It’s a part of Israeli nature to give advice. Israelis do it in their interactions with family and friends, during Shabbat dinners and gatherings, when problems being encountered are inevitably brought up. Inevitably too, in trying to be helpful, our close ones give us advice that put existing relationships and our future altogether at risk.
And here are the reasons why.
Reason one: People in relationships are biased
Your best friend is happy for who you are and what you are, since your current status allows your friendship. Any changes, be that relocation, social status change or even new job, may interrupt your normal interactions, which is clearly not in his best interest. The same concerns all your close ones, who will be advising primarily in their own interests. Even if they claim different, it’s just a part of human nature – to stay in a comfort zone and keep others nearby.
Reason two: your advisors come from different background than you
People assume they know what the problem is based on their own experience and background. They don’t mean bad; they simply forget to listen. Coming from different background, they push for solutions that are not relevant to your specific time, place and people involved.
Reason three: if you take advice, you’re still going to be responsible for the outcome
It’s not like you will be able to blame your advisor for a bad advice. On the contrary, if something goes wrong you will be the one accused of poor execution. Do you really want to feel stupid and helpless?
Remember, anytime you ask for advice, you give other people power to shape your life as they wish. It’s is very tempting for many people to take on the ‘expert’ position and demonstrate their knowledge and ‘wisdom’, but you should always remember that one can only be competent in the life he lives every day.
Don’t allow others to belittle the efforts you have taken. Don’t give away power to make your own decisions.
Hire an unbiased coach who will truly empower you in your decision-making.
