Denial - essential or dangerous?
Posted on September 09, 2016 by Erina Calder, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
A thought pops up and you dismiss it. Over and over again. Are you in denial or are you simply making a choice? Why are you ignoring this thought?
Have you ever known someone who is very good at ignoring what seems obvious? I know I have and I bet you have too. It’s frustrating isn’t it?
Here is a perfectly functional person. “Fact” seems to be glaring at them in the face, and yet they go on with their lives, effortlessly ignoring the elephant in the room.
How about yourself? Have you ever ignored something obvious in your life consciously?
A thought pops up and you dismiss it. Over and over again. (Like housecleaning for me!)
Dismissing thoughts sounds like a dangerous business! But the truth is, it’s what we do. The brain acts as the gatekeeper of your mind, and spends it’s time busily dismissing thoughts all day long. Of the multitude of input it receives, it stores what it believes will be useful. What about the rest? Well, there’s much of it that is temporarily stored, and then, much of it gets thrown on the proverbial trash heap. (That’s my layman’s version!)
Your brain uses your core belief systems to do this essential job. And guess who chooses your core belief systems?
So we have to deny. It’s part of the very fabric of what makes us the wonderful, mystical creatures that we are. We automatically deny what we believe is not true.
Or DO we?
I can say for myself that there have been MANY times when a thought keeps presenting itself, and I say…”hmm…that may be true but I’m going to ignore it.”
At this point you could say that you are sacrificing your conscience on the alter of what’s convenient. Or you could just say you’re picking an alternate route.
The way I see it, the difference between practicing denial and making a choice is how I treat the thought. Do I dismiss it quickly, or do I truly consider it?
My house is dirty. Will I clean it or won’t I?
Someone is having a hard time over there. Will I do what I can to help or won’t I?
Next time that nagging thought comes up, instead of dismissing it, give it a good look over. Is it a friend? A foe? Is it trying to warn you or help you? Would it steer you in a negative direction or it is just inconvenient? Can you get past the cost of doing what is inconvenient to have a better outcome for everyone involved?
The glorious thing is this – we do get to choose.
