How Do You Know When To Let an Annoyance Go: Meeting Objectives with Style
Posted on May 23, 2016 by Brent Vasicek, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
A simple strategy to analyze when you are justified with being annoyed and when you are just being nitpicky.
McDonald’s1994. A younger version of me was wrapping burgers in the typical roll the wrapper around the thin slices of meat and bun. I was bored, so I decided to wrap the burgers more like a present with a nice pocket on top and the sides tucked under. I was proud of the presentation as I filled the food bin with a half dozen nicely wrapped burgers.
Along comes a manager critiquing my wrapping style. She complained that this style of wrapping takes too long to complete and suggested I should wrap burgers the “normal” way. I asked her if she had to wait for any of her food from the grill area. She replied, “No.” In my mind this made her request invalid.
I was getting the job done in a time that was exceeding corporate speed expectations, so I continued my fancy wrapping. A while later the same manager returns. Again, complaining. She said, “The way you are wrapping is crushing the bun.” I had to internally laugh as we all know that McDonald’s buns are so emaciated that you simply can’t make them look much smaller no matter how you wrap them. I took her feedback into consideration as I did not want to produce low quality product from my grill. I reverted to the “normal” way and went on with the shift. Until…
The little scientist in me got curious about this bun crushing I was allegedly doing. Was my manager correct? Next I decided I was going to test this bun crushing theory. I wrapped one burger by each method and allowed them to sit for 5 minutes. I unwrapped the burgers and placed them side by side on a plate. I called the manger over and asked her to pick which burger was wrapped by which method. She couldn’t do it. Frustration and a disagreement ensued. She’s frustrated because I am not doing things her way. I was frustrated because I was doing my job and felt she was micromanaging. Who wins?
Objectives vs. Style
Which brings me to the lesson in all of this. Disagreements with bosses or significant others can often be boiled down to an Objectives vs. Style issue. If one can figure out if the problem is an Objective or Style issue, you can be well on your way to solving the disagreement. In the above example, I was putting out “quality” burgers, in a quick manner by wrapping them in a sanitary way. The objectives were clearly met. The manager did not like the style with which I met all of her objectives.
Picture this, your dad asks you to wash and detail the car. You start by vacuuming the inside, washing the mats, washing the outside and finishing with a nice shine on the tires. The objectives were clearly met from your perspective. He complains that you should work from the outside in. Does he have the right to complain? With no additional information the answer is no. He is simply questioning your style.
One more example. Your spouse states the kids need to go to bed. You both know it is important that your children sleep well, have clean teeth, and some pajamas on by the stated bedtime. You decide to put the kids to bed on this particular night. You skip story time and decide to play a quick game of Chutes and Ladders that you had promised earlier in the day. Your spouse complains that you are disrupting the bedtime routine. This routine is indeed different, but the kids make it to bed safely, with clean teeth, on time, and properly attired. Should this be an issue? I would argue no. Objectives were being met. It is simply a different style.
Let It Go?
So what can be done in these situations? Here is my simple procedure for knowing when to Let It Go.
1.Look at the objectives of the task. Are they all being met? If yes, then you are annoyed with someone’s style. You should let it go.
2.If the objectives of the task are not being met, ask yourself why. Maybe you and your boss are not communicating effectively. Maybe you and your wife have not clearly outlined the objectives. Take some time to talk about the goals of each procedure. Come to an agreement and then follow it. This may require you to add some additional objectives for the procedure. Example: Using the bedtime routine scenario above, perhaps the child needs to have 20 minutes of reading time each night per the child’s teacher. In that case, that additional objective should be discussed and added to the procedure.
3.Lastly, if the objectives are crystal clear and they are not being met, then it is not a style problem. You are free to suggest to the other individual that a new technique should be explored that meets all objectives.
Back to the McDonald’s wrapping. If the manager had stated, “Brent, our customers like consistency and reliability, so we have standardized how this wrapping takes place in every McDonald’s,” then she would have effectively communicated to me an objective that I had not considered. I would have ceased my science experiment. The additional lesson here is don’t give your employees disingenuous answers. It does not build rapport. But that is a topic for another day.
I leave you with one of my favorite quotes from an unknown source. “We judge others by their actions and ourselves by our intentions.”
Analyze your annoyances in life this week from the Objectives vs Style approach. See if that helps you let go of unnecessary frustrations. Feel free to share your insights or stories in the comments below.
*Oddly enough, I still love those McD burgers. Maybe it is all in the consistent wrapping.
