6 Questions That Can Help You to Find Your Soulmate
Posted on April 30, 2016 by Tanya Ince, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
Many great people gave up on looking for their soulmate. Answer these questions honestly, and maybe your opinion on dating will shift a little.
There are so many amazing women and men who want to be in a relationship, but just haven’t met the right person yet. If creating a long-term relationship is important to you, it can be incredibly frustrating and can reduce focus on other areas in your life. It is especially challenging, if all of your friends are either married, engaged, or in a stable relationship. As a result, many people simply give up and lose hope of ever finding their soulmate. In this blog post, I would like to challenge the idea that it is not possible for you to meet someone.
1. Is it true that there is nobody out there for you? According to U.S. Census, 44 percent of adult Americans are single. This means that there are close to 108 million people who aren’t married or in a relationship. On average, there are 86 unmarried men for every 100 unmarried women, but this ratio varies by region. This statistics shows that it is possible for everyone to find a match. Why then some people do and others don’t?
2. Are you truly interested in having a relationship? This question is not as easy as it looks. Many people only say that they want to be in a relationship, but their words and emotions don’t necessarily match. On a deeper level, they are actually afraid of losing their freedom, independence, or derive some other perceived benefit from remaining single. We just met a woman last night at a restaurant who said several times that she is very independent and doesn’t want to be in a relationship. So she knew that about herself. But it is possible to be convinced that you are ready for a relationship, without truly wanting it. Here are a few question that might be helpful: What do I gain by remaining single? What do I think is going to happen if I’m in a relationship? Looking closely at these questions might actually reveal to you that you are perfectly happy with your life as it is now.
3. Do you know what kind of partner you are looking for? In my own experience, as soon as I knew what I’m looking for in a partner, I would meet someone who had exactly those qualities that I felt strongly about. The key word is “felt” here. It works automatically as a mechanism that never breaks. One way to start creating a space in your life for another person is to write down 10 things you want in a person and in your relationship, and feel why these qualities are important to you. Picture this person as vivid as you can and imagine how you feel in a relationship with him or her. In Write It Down, Make It Happen, Henriette Anne Klauser explains that simply writing down your goals is the first step toward achieving them.
4. Did you tell anyone that you are looking for a partner? It turns out that 63 percent of married couples met through a network of friends. The more people in your life know that you are looking for a relationship, the higher the chances are that they know someone else who is also looking for a match. So tell your friends, your hairdresser, your fitness trainer, anyone and everyone you know. If you didn’t tell anyone that you want to meet someone, think about what is stopping you from doing that? This brings me to my next question.
5. Did you make any steps towards meeting someone? When you take an action step, however small, towards a goal, you are declaring that this goal matters for you. Think creatively, and write down three actionable small steps that would move you closer towards your goal of meeting your ideal partner. Here are a few options. You could invite a single colleague out for dinner, get a nice outfit, or set up an online dating profile. 40 million Americans use online dating services, according to Match.com 2016 Singles in America Study.
6. What do you believe about what’s possible for you in the future? If you answered “yes” to Question 2, the only reason you are still single is your beliefs. We create everything in our life according to our (conscious or unconscious) beliefs. To explore your belief system about relationships and love, create a peaceful and comfortable environment. Write down in your journal every thought that comes to you when you think about relationship, men and women, and your prospects. Try to feel every word you are writing. Becoming aware of these beliefs is the first step towards changing them. We have learned many of them in childhood and supported them by attracting similar experiences. There are different methods for changing limiting beliefs. To change them requires courage and consistent effort. You might want to find a trusted friend or a coach who can help you in this process.
