Integrating our Experiences to Resolve Pain & Trauma from the Past

Posted on March 22, 2016 by Anna Horst, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

As a physical being, we are given the choice to create from all aspects within the infinite spectrum of life. A life of peace or a life of pain and struggle all boil down to the choice to live life from reactionary fear or from conscious love. Pure, unconditional love is all encompassing, limitless, free, flowing, open, expansive, abundant, present, content, allowing, cooperative, unified, creative, constructive, generous, flexible, sufficient, beautiful, whole, joyful and secure, etc.; complete alignment with our authentic self and the absence of fear. In the same respect, fear is the absence of love and a disconnect from our authentic self; constrictive, afraid, suppressed, resistant, closed, limited, absent, lacking, competitive, divisive, destructive, deficient, separate and insecure, etc. Absolute love is complete acceptance of what is because all is okay no matter what, and fear is resistance to what is because of a thought that everything is possibly not okay. Alignment within knows only love, no doubt. We fear what we don’t understand. When we increase awareness we dissolve fear.

The way towards living the life of our dreams is to align our individual awareness, thoughts, words and actions with the essence of pure unconditional love, which resides within each moment as our authentic self, and is the same essence that breathes life into all of creation. With that in mind, the only barrier to creating the life of our dreams is the resistance to the life force we create when we suppress, deny or ignore the negatively perceived aspects of our being. When our sense of self identifies solely with the emotions, it feels like the cause of the pain is the feelings themselves, so we resist feeling them fully. In reality, it’s the resistance to and non-acceptance of the feelings that causes our pain. To heal our pain and fears, we need to fully face (acknowledge, accept, allow) and integrate (embrace, love) them.

To eliminate resistance we must make the unconscious conscious. We must integrate all the aspects of our self that we’ve suppressed because we were told they are unacceptable or wrong to feel and express; to embrace and integrate the aspects of our self that are innocent and vulnerable but feel unloved, betrayed and pained. We need to integrate our pained innocence, our wounded child (where most of our original fears stem from), into the presence of our loving awareness. We must shed the light of our awareness, our authentic inner being, on the darkest parts of our psyche in order to transform the inner demons into angels. We must embrace the lost, wounded, unloved aspects of our vulnerable selves within the love that exists as our core self.

This now moment will create every opportunity for us to feel, embrace and integrate the energies we denied, suppressed and were resistant to in our previous experiences. We do not need to try to resolve the past; the flow of creation will bring the energies to us in the Now. These discordant energies of fear of insecurity must be integrated within the love of our authentic self in order for them to be transmuted and healed. Wholly and completely feeling, embracing, accepting and allowing each and every now moment, regardless of how painful it may seem, will allow the pains, fears and traumas within our auric field to dissolve into the love that is our inner being. Sitting in our discomfort and courageously allowing the full extent of the unease, dissolves the unresolved energies. Sometimes this will bring with it the memory of pain and trauma we experienced as our young, vulnerable self. Embracing and allowing all the now moment energies to be a part of our experience enables us to integrate the energies which were previously suppressed and resisted.

Whenever we feel angry, protective, armed, reactive, defensive, etc. we need the courage to fully allow the feelings to wash over us without reacting or outwardly taking them out on others. We must allow the feelings to be within our presence and awareness for a period of time, until the feelings becomes an actual part of us. We may find a core emotion the protective mechanisms originated from; the source of insecurity, unworthiness, inadequacy or a sense of abandonment deep within, hidden within our psyche, hidden within the past.

When we were young and/or vulnerable and innocent we were pained by those closest to us. We may have created protective defense mechanisms which allowed us to deal with the traumas when we were so vulnerable. We need to find the courage within to allow and accept the core feelings of insecurity and fear/lack, no matter how painful and scary, to wash over us; to thank our younger selves for the defense mechanisms and to fully feel the insecurities we had at the time when we were young and sink into them now. We must embrace our wounded child with the love of our true self until that pain, trauma, insecurity and wounded aspect of our identity is fully integrated into the love of our authentic being; until it’s a conscious part of who we are, no longer a deserted aspect of our self that’s rejected, alone and afraid or that needs to be protected through anger or defense.

The pained aspect of our self is then an integrated aspect of our whole self. It’s not gone; it’s still there. But now it’s a part of us that we are fully aware of, and now we have the ability to choose not to react from it. It will no longer be able to unconsciously control our choices. Each time we are triggered in the future, we will be able to notice that it is our internal insecurity that is being triggered, and we can consciously choose how to respond instead of unconsciously reacting from that pain. It will usually take us a few times of being triggered to fully be able to respond and create instead of unconsciously reacting. To reverse years and possibly decades of our habitual unconscious reactions takes some conscious effort and time, so always be very patient and very gentle with yourself! But by being conscious we will start responding and creating more and more and reacting less and less, catching ourselves quicker each time we are triggered, until it is natural to respond and consciously choose the words and actions we feel more closely align with who we truly are.

Our fears and pains become our teachers of growth, and our insecurities become our signals to show us where healing is still needed. Once the light of awareness is shed and internal love is realized, the darkest parts of our psyche become our greatest allies on the path of self realization and self-empowerment! Whenever we feel fear, inferiority, anger, resistance, insecurity, uncomfortable or offended then those are our signals to know there is a fear or insecurity within ourselves that needs to be healed. Also, whenever we feel superior to another or feel judgment towards self or another that also indicates underneath is an insecurity or feeling of inadequacy that needs to be addressed and integrated by the focus of our conscious awareness.

As we go along through life, we must honor the emotions that we feel by recognizing, truly feeling and embracing them as part of our experience. Our emotions are our compass through life; they are there for a reason. Any emotions that we have are there because they must be felt in order to learn, refine, grow, align and expand. We cannot deny, suppress or ignore them and think that they will just go away. They will not.

Along with holding suppressed and resisted energies of fear and insecurity within our auric field, we hold these energies within our physical body, which result in physical imbalances, also called dis-ease. Once we integrate and become more and more balanced mentally and emotionally we will notice the heavy physical sensations leaving our body, and we will actually physically notice the shifts within our body’s energy field. Being fully in touch with the feelings and sensations of our bodies is paramount to being consciously aware and expressing from that awareness. Once the energetic imbalances become balanced, the dis-ease within our physical vessels will also dissolve.

All pain, discomfort and negatively perceived sensations are signals to tell us where we are not aligning with who we really are. Ask the pain to show you what the lesson is that it’s bringing you. Allow the pain and discomfort to teach you, and allow your life and perspectives to be refined and cleansed by each learning experience.