Embodying Compassion
Posted on March 22, 2016 by Anna Horst, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
Most of us do not feel worthy and desire love from another. The relationship we have with our self is the most meaningful relationship of our life.
Within our very own being lies the keys to paradise. Allowing ourselves to just be without judgment is the access code. Most of us live feeling unworthy, a void, constant worry and doubt, internal lack or a general feeling of just not being good enough just as we are, which stand in our way of experiencing peace and creating our greatest dreams. We judge ourselves harsher than we judge anyone else. We condemn our own behavior when we may ignore the same behavior in others. So many believe to be humble means to self-depreciate. So many think that being loving towards others means we must sacrifice the love for our own self, when in actuality, the opposite is true.
To really love others unconditionally we must first love ourselves unconditionally. To have attention, acceptance, support and love to offer others, means we have enough attention, acceptance, support and love overflowing within ourselves to share. We cannot give what we do not feel within ourselves. We cannot offer what we ourselves feel is lacking.
When we feel empty, lacking, unworthy and invalidated we must be our own nurturer. When we are feeling depressed we must take back our internal power through choice and be our own savior. We must provide to our own self that which we feel is missing. The love and attention we always wanted from someone else is the love and attention we first need to give our self.
Think about this. The only person you are going to be with every single second, of every minute, of every hour, of every day, of every week, of every month, of every year is you! The relationship we have with our self is the most meaningful relationship of our life.
When we are looking for external validation it means we need to take some time for our self. Take some time, maybe even some extended time (weeks at a time), all to yourself with no friends, groups and activities to distract you. Spend some much needed alone time to cultivate your own personal relationship with you! You’ve depended upon interactions with others to fill you to the point of you feeling a deep void within yourself. Now it’s time to nurture and love on you. It’s time for you to fill that void with the abundant love that flows through the universe through your own giving heart!
Cultivate nurturing for you and only you; where all your energy is spent on you and what you enjoy. How delightfully delicious! Treat yourself how you treat others, with tender love and compassion. Allow yourself full ease and gentleness. Allow yourself to feel full with the infinite love that exists within the core of your being. How? By giving yourself what you are feeling you need, desire and are lacking.
If you desire to be warm, comfortable and soothed, take an epsom salt bath with lavender essential oil. It will ease your body and relax you. You want to feel desired, sensualize yourself. Wine and dine yourself; take yourself on a nice date or picnic. If you want to feel connection, talk to and start to learn about and come to understand yourself fully. Get to the point where you feel at peace alone. Enjoy your own company. Have tea with yourself. Feel good in your own presence to the point of enjoying your own company so much you no longer need others to enjoy your experience. Get in some comfy pajamas and lounge around or do some exercise. Do whatever feels good to you in the moment.
If you are just waiting for the alone time to be up, feel bored or are spending your time longing for outside companionship, you are not making the most of each moment and most likely need more time alone; cultivating the greatest relationship of your life. Sit with yourself, be yourself, see yourself, listen to yourself, feel yourself, trust yourself, love on yourself, validate yourself, know yourself.
The key is to be accepting of our self and offer our own personal validation to our own experiences. Validation comes in the way of attention, gentle support and compassion. Allowing our self to feel and express pain while being gentle with our self is loving. When we punish ourselves through degrading self talk, we are denying ourselves compassion. To judge or reject our being for our behavior is denying ourselves unconditional love.
When we allow ourselves to feel good, we are being loving. Choosing the activities and accessories to make our experiences enjoyable and our hearts sing is being compassionate. To embody compassion means to be our own lover, nurturer, supporter and our own number one fan. The biggest key is to ACCEPT who we are, just as we are. Embrace yourself, all of yourself! Allow yourself to be, just as you are! Love yourself right where you are at, right now.
Now you are the nurturer and the nurtured. You are your own comforter when you need comforting. You are the soothing balm when you feel chapped. You are the essence of sweet honey for your soul. All the compassion, power and validation you could ever need is within, and it’s all yours when you freely give it to yourself. Then when it’s no longer a need or dependency, you can share that love freely with all individuals you come into contact with.
When we love ourselves unconditionally we will only choose to interact with those who also reciprocate and show us love and kindness. We will not choose to be around those who degrade us or abuse us. We will nurture and take care of ourselves by only participating in dynamics where compassion is the foundation.
