Communication Skills I Learned From My Border Collie
Posted on March 10, 2016 by Karol Dixon de la O, One of Thousands of Business Coaches on Noomii.
Your body language defines over half of what you are communicating. And really it is the energy you are projecting as much as how you carry yourself.
As a business coach, I work with people on their communication skills all the time. One of the facts I like to share is how communication is made up of 3 parts(1):
1) Words or content is only 7%
2) Voice or tone of what is said is 38%
3) Body language or energy makes up 55%
Your body language defines over half of what you are communicating. And really it is the energy you are projecting as much as how you carry yourself. It’s one thing to remember not to fold your arms so you don’t come across as being defiant; it’s another to learn how to project your energy as non-defiant.
I didn’t quite grasp the difference until I adopted a border collie. Border collies are considered one of the smartest breeds of dogs and due to their particular personalities, they excel at many dog sports. My border collie herds sheep. For the past six years or so, we go out once a week and learn to work as a team to move sheep wherever I want them to go. That last part is important – where I want the sheep to go, not where my border collie thinks they should go.
That’s where my energy levels come in. Everyone has days where they are not feeling optimal and sometimes you fake your energy a bit to get through a presentation, or a meeting. With most people, you don’t have to be really good at faking to imitate positive energy. But border collies see right through any attempts to pretend. They are looking for, or sensing the energy you are giving off. If the energy is not there, my border collie will walk all over me and take the sheep wherever he chooses and in a manner of his choosing no matter what my tone or choice words.
Anyone familiar with Cesar Milan from his book, Be The Pack Leader or the National Geographic show, The Dog Whisperer, knows of his philosophy of calm-assertive energy. Cesar believes if the human is projecting calm-assertive energy, then the dog will follow it. Nowhere is that more apparent than with my border collie. I not only have to be calm when I speak to him, but I have to project assertive energy. My energy cannot be faked. It has to be there. And I can tell when I have it, because it’s when my dog performs beautifully and does everything I ask of him and more. When I have those moments, I take note of how I am feeling and the energy I am projecting because it’s the energy I also want to be using when I communicate with people.
When I am communicating to an individual or to a group, I want to be heard in a positive manner. The calm-assertive energy I use to get my border collie to listen to me is the same energy I need to project to get humans to subconsciously recognize it is important to hear me out. And that is how my border collie has been teaching me how to improve my own communication skills.
(1) Source: The Visual Impact of Communications. Adapted from Nonverbal Communication, (1972) Albert Mahrabian
A version of this was originally posted on LinkedIn
