How To Share What's In Your Heart With Your Partner
Posted on January 31, 2016 by Sarah Phillips, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
Sharing with your partner
“You say there’s so much in your heart you can’t describe to me. That’s true of me, too. There’s so much in my heart that I can’t describe to you.” As Tom Wingfield tells his mother Amanda in Tennessee William’s "The Glass Menagerie, “exposing one’s real feelings is difficult for most of us.
It is easier to share your thoughts, the information that is in your brain. However, it is not so easy to share the depth of your feelings that live in your heart.
Suggestions on how to do so:
1. Recognize the difference between thoughts and emotional (not physical) feelings.
2. Use the “I think vs. I feel” rule. If you can substitute the words “I think” for “I feel” in a sentence, then you have expressed a thought and not a feeling. “I feel that you are a selfish introvert” is a thought, not a feeling. “I feel scared and lonely when we don’t talk” is a feeling statement.
3. Name the feeling. Use a list of feeling words if this is difficult. Most feeling words can be grouped under glad, sad, ashamed, mad, or scared.
4. Describe the feeling by writing it in such a way that your spouse can experience your feeling to the same degree.
5. Share your feelings with your spouse daily.
6. Accept that feelings are neither right nor wrong. It is the behavior that results from the feeling that has the morality.
7. Accept that feelings can come and go and change quickly.
8. Try not to judge yourself or your spouse because of feelings.
9. Remember that rejecting a feeling is rejecting the person feeling it. Avoid saying things like, "Don’t worry, be happy “or "You shouldn’t feel that way’’.
10. Don’t make decisions based solely on feeling.
Adapted from: "How to Share Feelings with Your Spouse, Marriage.About.com
Written by Sarah Phillips. Sarah has a Master’s Degree in Psychology(M.S.), is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor(L.M.H.C.) in Florida, a National Certified Counselor(N.C.C.), a National Certified Clinical Mental Health Counselor(C.C.M.H.C.), and a YB12 Life Coach.
