Desiring Change

Posted on January 27, 2016 by Nalin Kotari, One of Thousands of Spirituality Coaches on Noomii.

DESIRING CHANGE

Now and then, it seems like everything in life is going great. We cannot find anything to complain about. As long as existence is wonderful, we do not seek change. But sooner or later, something does not line up with our expectations. Relationships are not forming or develop tension, financial difficulties or health issues arise, someone we love gets sick or dies, or we have simply become tired of ourselves. Most of us embark on a spiritual journey because we have reached a point in life where we cannot take it anymore, or all our dreams have come true and we are wondering why we are still bored and restless. What could possibly be missing? When pain enters, so does doubt. For the first time, we feel uncertainty, and we question yesterday and tomorrow. We want change, and we want it Now, and Now is the key, because ego loves time.

Now is ego’s enemy, because ego cannot exist out of time. We need to pay very close attention so that we will not be seduced by ego into a seemingly perfect solution tomorrow. But when we are broken, we are ripe for the Now. And the only way into the Now is to first go deep inside ourselves. Life is actually meant to be frustrating so that we will turn inward. Mind your own business, and everything is your own business.

The most direct and powerful entry points to awakening are our challenges. The opportunity to take our first step toward freedom often comes in a moment of crisis, when our goals are not reached and strategies are not working out. We are disillusioned, and perhaps devastated. The way we wanted life to be is not happening. A moment like this can be an opening if we are ready for humility to take over and willing to let our disappointments show us where we are holding on to illusion. Otherwise, it will take an even larger catastrophe that breaks us completely and forces us to surrender the control of life that we thought we held. This is called fierce Grace, as it is a prime opportunity for us to open our heart to Eternity. To remove suffering, minimize pain, and come into bubbling joy and endless Love, we need a few things:

1. A deep and irrevocable longing. It is okay to not know exactly what this longing is for, but if it is for something material or relational, it is not the yearning I am referring to. Some people know that the yearning is a burning desire for Truth or the Divine. We all have this longing, but it is not until the volume gets turned up that we hear it and start moving in that direction. The sound is the voice of Consciousness itself wanting to emerge through us, calling us to come home.

2. 100 percent devotion to Truth in each and every moment, at any material, relational, emotional, financial, or situational expense. By choosing honesty we clear the way for Light to come through.

3. Support and guidance from those who have gone before us.

4. Faith in what our teacher tells us, as this is the only thing we have to go on until we recognize our True Self.

5. Patience. Sometimes it takes time to recognize the Timeless.

6. A sense of humor.

We want to get rid of pain and sorrow, feel better, and have more fun, and we have heard of those beings who do not suffer in the midst of tragedy. We want what they have. Or, deep inside, something tells us that we are missing the point. There is supposedly a point to our misery. There is something much bigger and more important than feeling better, and we want to know what it is. Somehow in the midst of our distress, we have fallen in love with an Unknown Force, and we blindly start moving in that direction. The Unknown Force is The Ground of Being calling us to come home. And the vehicle to get there consists of meditation and self-inquiry.

Whether through meditation or self-inquiry, the pivotal question you are always trying to answer is “What am I?” So do not get lost in spiritual practices or working on your conditioning or detaching from your identities without keeping track of this key question: What am I really? Yet, realizing your True Nature is not a place you come to, take “awakening” off the to-do list, set up camp, uncork the champagne, and lie back in the hammock with a halo around your body. Awakening does not guarantee that whatever remains of ego voluntarily and immediately departs, and awakening is not yet enlightenment. The journey certainly becomes easier and lighter after we come into Spirit, but for most of us, even after awakening, the Divine breath is still choking on the pollution of our mental or emotional waste matter. Therefore meditation and self-inquiry continues.

Meditation will help quiet the mind so that our attention is available to witness Awareness becoming aware of itself. Self-inquiry is the acknowledgment of the various ways in which ego is broadcasting its presence, and this process enables ego to evaporate. Often it is not necessary to understand the origin of our shadows in order for them to disappear; if it is revealed through inquiry, then you know, but if not, that is okay too. Just by admitting and owning each ego manifestation, it usually comes to an end. We can grow without tracing or analyzing our pollutants, and life will realign itself to support the purpose of our visit here on Earth: to acknowledge the illusionary nature of ego, awaken to our Original Being, and allow it to fully mature and live through us.

Facing the pain of life not going our way is a gateway to freedom and the only method to once and for all burn our remaining attachments. A prime opportunity to detach from our attachments is when business projects or relationships go south, educational or performance goals are not reached, or when unimaginable loss, illness, the challenging effects of aging, or financial hardship hits us. Please note that becoming detached does not mean turning uncaring or distant. It means letting go of our attachments to a particular outcome in any situation. It means “to go with,” to flow with, to not mind, to not resist wherever the current of life is taking us.

After we burn our attachments, the relationship between us and the world becomes more intimate than ever, more pure and intense, because experiences are no longer blocked or distorted by our interpretations, opinions, or preferences. When we dare see the naked Truth in each situation, we stop creating stories and dramas around them. Then nostalgia, along with fear of the changing world, leaves. Everything just is what it is and flows through us. Nothing stays or gets heavy or prolonged beyond its actual lifespan. As we lose our preference for any particular experience and for any particular outcome in any experience, ironically, for the first time, we can fully relax and enjoy life. Everything changing, coming, and going is okay. Discomfort is no longer something we have a need to avoid or escape. And if we become very clear, if most of our conditioning and identities are released, then memory starts to fade as well, because there is nothing an experience can attach itself to. Difficult experiences are no longer perceived as heavy, they have a certain flavor of warmth around them. Our opinions about pain are what used to turn it into suffering.
As long as we are growing, we will have growing pains. Some people are handed a much heavier load than others. Have faith and do not compare. We do not understand the meaning of fairness until we are capable of seeing that life lives us. There are no mistakes. Each move shines with Love and opportunity. Our play here on Earth is always a dance in perfect harmony, as everything and everyone and all that we do or do not do are manifestations of the Infinite. Awakening is handing over power from ego to Source. Move over to the passenger seat, chill out, and trust the invisible driver. An amazing journey is here, but only as long as you do not presume to know what lies around the next corner. Relax into the gratitude of being in body and getting to taste this earthly life for a little bit. And once you have had a glimpse of your True Nature, once you have tasted Divine Love, you are eager to face any shadows still appearing in your system and clear remaining obstacles blocking the full fruition of Spirit.

Furthermore, know that personal evolution only works when it is chosen. Each soul is uniquely manifesting the will of the Universe and contributing the best it can wherever it is in its transformation. Even someone committing violent offenses is doing the very best he or she is capable of. We are all perfect wherever we are. A seed is a perfect seed, and a full-grown plant is not only a perfect full-grown plant but was perfect all along the way. A caterpillar is a perfect caterpillar, and a butterfly is a perfect butterfly. So do not feel frustrated with friends, partners, lovers, neighbors, colleagues, relatives, or strangers who are not yet drawn to the spiritual path. At best, you might inspire them once you yourself are liberated.