6 Vital Goal-Setting Questions - With a Twist

Posted on January 25, 2016 by Paula Facci, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

Recently I read an profound and provocative article by Mark Manson called:
ASK THE HARD QUESTIONS. You probably know to ask yourself, “What do I want?” Here’s a way better question.

We all want to be successful right? And I am sure this is milling around in most of our minds at the beginning of yet another New Year. How to make this one the triumphant one.

The majority of us know that we first require clarity on what we want and that we then need to set some goals which will bring us closer to achieving the “success” we desire.
What Mark however so rightfully points out in his above mentioned article, is that very few of us ever consider the pain and struggle which come part and parcel with attaining the success we so seek. Sacrifice and success are in fact a package deal. We want what we want, but are we genuinely willing to do what it takes, personally, to get it? Do we consider the pain and sacrifice we are signing up for in order to get where we want to be? Mmm…

I really took so much value from this article. It supported me to re-frame the way I approached all my goals for 2016. Within my current reality, having just relocated abroad, I have suddenly become acutely aware of what pain and sacrifice I so happily volunteered for in making this life altering decision. But jokes aside. Mark’s article helped me to get real about my goals. Really real and brutally honest. What I noticed was that I had not actually adjusted my goals according to my new life circumstances, personal capacity or new required priorities. I was still on the “I want to be a successful international online coach and author, and change the world”-bandwagon. Of course this is still paramount to me, on the medium to long term. However I needed to halt the buss.

The insights gained from his article have supported me tremendously. I decided to give myself a darn break and to put things into perspective. To take a step back and expand my view for 2016 to connect to my big picture and what is most important to me above all else. Making a positive impact in the world is not just about others, it also includes my world. Myself and my family. So first things first. At present, I require to grow and progress in some different, but vital directions in order to honor my highest values. Family and Mastery. After all: “If you want to change the world, first change yourself.” Right?

Since having all my little Oprah moments surrounding my goals, I have tweaked my goal setting questions, to include this fresh new perspective on approaching success. And they include a slight twist, as you will see in a moment. So here we go.

6 Vital Goal-Setting Questions – With a Twist
1. “What do I want?”
Get crystal clear on what you want by when, in as much detail as possible.

2. “Is this goal in line with my value system and my big picture intention and purpose for my life?”
A question which ensures that your goals are intrinsicly motivated and self concordant. That they are your goals and not somebody else’s goals for your life. It also prevents you from going off track and losing sight of your ultimate purpose and life intention.

3. “How much do I want it?” “How important is this really to me?”
This helps one to prioritize and allocate your resources. Is persuing this goal, the most valuable thing you could be using your time and resources for, or is there something more important right now? Keep your goals flexible, life happens and it helps to reevaluate your priorities frequently.

4. “What sacrifice or pain will it require to achieve this goal, and do I consciously commit to this journey?”
Here we get our good old reality check. This helps one get real about the intrinsic and extrinsic resources that will be needed in attaining this goal. For example your health, vitality, time, money, knowledge, inspiration and motivation. It also gives you a moment to mindfully prepare and plan for the sacrifices that will be demanded of you. What is of crucial importance here though, is to do a double check by asking yourself:

5. “Will pursuing this goal require me to sacrifice my values?”
An example. Family is a biggie for me, so if a goal encroaches on my quality time with them, it is a no-no for me. It may very well change later as life shifts. So let your values guide you. I see many clients who sacrifice their highest values, such as their health, families and happiness for success, which always seems to be eluding them. The result, a life filled with regret. This is the cost. Is it really worth it? We can easily fool ourself into thinking something is highly important, when it really isn’t that important after all, in the greater scheme of things.

Now comes the difficult pill to swallow for those self-motivated, highly driven and goal-orientated peeps out there.

5. “Does this goal require me to sacrifice another important goal for the short, medium of long term?”
I know. Ouch! You guessed it. The twist. This one hit me like a brick wall, as this is precisely my prevailing status quo. Now that my context and priorities have shifted after the move. I have to make some conscious and tough decisions regarding my previously highly prioritized goals, such as writing my book and swiftly re-establishing my coaching business here.

What demands my attention and focus now, is ensuring the well-being of myself and my family and adjusting to our new home country. Remember, family is one of my highest values. So this implies spending more time supporting my son and hubby, but also building the inner resources required to live a happy and meaningful life here. So, needless to say, I must allocate much time to study Portuguese, pronto.

The sacrifice and pain I thus choose, is letting go of my attachment to some of my most important goals for the short to medium term. I am allowing life to create some goals for me right now, and have parked my book and cut down on my working hours. Trust me this was by no means a cake-walk, but a bitter yet super necessary pill to swallow.

So after taking all of this into account, you now need to decide if you’re in or out. No grey areas people. So finally ask yourself:

6. “Do I choose from complete freedom (not “I should” or “I have to”), to commit to this goal 100%?” (99% won’t do).

And there you have it. I would love to hear how this approach works for you and and how it has impacted your approach on goal-setting going forward.

Want to start living your best life and reaching your dreams?
Book a courtesy session and let’s start meeting those goals.

Warmest Regards
Paula Facci
www.thrivefactorcoach.com