Bridging Realities

Posted on January 22, 2016 by Laura Martino, One of Thousands of Entrepreneurship Coaches on Noomii.

There are times in our lives when we all lose our connection to who we truly are inside our self. Keeping our true-authentic connection to who we really are is the most important thing we can do for ourselves. When we have this connection with our self we feel great!! We feel strong and know how powerful we are on the inside for our self. However, at times it can be very easy for us to be distracted from who we really are by others and our environment. That is why it is so important to live in the “NOW” moment or “Our Current Reality” where we can choose to reach for that good feeling thought instead of a defensive or explanatory explanation as to the why’s and how’s something has happened or not happened in our lives or with the world. When we do reach for our defensive thoughts, explanations or negative reasoning is when it usually stems from our past experiences.

What will happen if we keep looking in the rear view mirror while we’re driving and we’re not staying focused with what is going on right now in front of us? The answer is not only the obvious, “crash” it is also prolonging us to get to our desired destination. The same holds true if we continue to look to the past in the same way for our “NOW” answers in life.

Nothing in life has any meaning except the meaning “WE” give it. The meaning we associate or assign to something determines how we feel and ultimately how we will handle things throughout our life. When we look to our past it is based on our perceived perceptions of what we “THINK” is the truth.

For example, You had a conversation with someone in the past where they seemed mean or just didn’t care about what you had to say, most of us tend to think thoughts like: “Wow, this person really doesn’t care about me or what I have to say.” or ask ourselves “What did I do to deserve this?” or “This person is an idiot!”. When we continue to view people, situations or communications from our past realities in this thought holding pattern (the past as we have perceived it to be) nothing will ever change and this will always be our reality. If you don’t like the way you are feeling about someone or something change how you are looking at them or the situation.

When we have any kind of communication with another person where they are responding to us in some way their response to us is either coming from;

A loving place, or
It’s a cry for help

The ONLY thing we really “know for certain in life” or can “control” is our self and how we react to the situations or communications in our life.

Also, what we place our attention on or keep asking for will continue to give us the same result, over and over and over again whether good or bad.

The key to living in the “NOW” moment or our “Current” reality is to first realize when we are thinking our negative thoughts from our past experiences or events. When we realize we are doing this, then it is time to start turning around those thoughts to new more empowering positive thoughts. (Note: empowering positive thoughts are “Not” just placing a “Happy” sticker on it and be done with it.) Empowering thoughts need to be realistic in nature where you feel and believe these new thoughts are very possible and believable.

For example, when we are remembering a situation from our past we can say to ourselves, “That was how I felt “THEN” and this is “NOW” and I now know people and situations DO change over time!!” We can also say to ourselves, “What is another way of looking at this situation?” or “Maybe I misunderstood what they meant?” If you can’t seem to find another way to look at the situation then go to that person and ask!! Go to them and ask things like, “I am not sure if I understood what you meant when you said …………?”or “Can you help me with something? I just wanted to make sure I fully understood what you were trying to say when we spoke the other day?” Most of the time these types of situations are just a simple miscommunication or the situation is being misinterpreted the wrong way. You may very well find that the situation you thought was not fixable can be fixed.

If however, you find that what you thought about a situation or a person is correct then look to see where they “are crying for help”. Negative emotions such as anger, revenge, hatred, rage and jealousy usually come from insecurity, guilt, unworthiness, fear and powerlessness which most likely started at the base of being hurt by someone or something in their past. When you realize this, you then can come to more of an understanding of why the situation or communication went the way it did with another person. That is NOT to say you accept or approve of another’s negative behavior or what has happened only that you NOW have more of an understanding and clarity about the situation or the communication. When you can accomplish understanding other people more is when your healing really begins!!