How to balance your Marriage and Independence?
Posted on December 30, 2015 by Lata S, One of Thousands of Career Coaches on Noomii.
Many couple feel they will lose independence soon after marriage but with little understanding and support you can start your married life happily.
So, how to strike a blissful balance between your independence and your marriage. You and only you can find a way to make marriage and independence work together. This will result in a stronger relationship.
A healthy communication plays important role to eradicate misunderstandings, so, try these strategies to find what works for you:
1. Share your feelings with your partner
Your relationship will suffer if any one of you feel trapped and isn’t able to share your feelings. This will lead to frustration and anger building up to a dangerous level. You can avoid these issues by talking about your needs with your partner.
It’s important to have an open dialogue about your desire for independence. First, reassure your partner that you love him\her the most. However, you need space and time to grow as an individual.
You can share that you need to develop your own hobbies or activities outside of the home and relationship. You can still do activities together, but your own interests need not to be neglected.
2. Plan time with your partner
Marriage doesn’t mean that you need to spend every second with your partner only. You can always plan to spend some time together and other times for pursuing your other interests.
This will help you develop your independence and feel freedom without hurting your marriage.
3. Alone Time
The time you spend with yourself can help nurture your independence.
Do you crave a few hours with a good book and no distractions? Do you love to spend some time alone listening to music? These types of activities can help you feel free and give you space from your partner.
4. Find time for friends
Spending time with your friends can be a fun way to find your independence again. You don’t have to force your partner to attend every chat, meal, or event with your friends. It’s good to spend some time with your friends without your spouse.
5. Give each other room to handle challenges
It may be tempting to act as a savior and try to fix all of the issues in your partner’s life. However, it’s crucial to give each other space to handle difficult situations on your own. Your partner may not want you to interfere. You can still support each other, but you can also give each other room. Believe that each one of you has the capability to handle things alone!
6. Enjoy your own hobbies
You don’t have to do every hobby with your partner. Although you can enjoy hobbies such as skiing or hiking together. You may always consider the hobbies you liked before marriage. Did you create your own paintings in a small studio at home? Did you take cooking lessons at a local school or learning center? Do you miss the dance class you participated in before you got married?
You can do hobbies on your own without hurting your partner. First, discuss your need for a solo activity and share why it’s important to you. Then, create a separate list of hobbies you can do as a couple, so your partner doesn’t feel neglected. Try to include each other in your hobbies but don’t force. Respect each other’s decision and stay connected together.
You can create a balance between marriage and your desire for independence. It requires time and effort from both sides of the relationship, but that time and effort can actually bring you closer together.
