Awareness vs. Conditioning

Posted on December 17, 2015 by Anna Kadura, One of Thousands of Leadership Coaches on Noomii.

What is conditioning?
Conditioned is a state of being when over repeated reinforcements a certain behaviour or trait is ingrained in an individual.
As human beings, we all arrive on the scene with pretty much the same experience of life, namely nothing. When as babies we take our first breath, our time in this world begins. From then on we get conditioned to the lights, sounds, smells and feels around us.
We learn that when we cry, we get food. When we repeatedly get food on crying, we continue to cry to get food.
How much more of Conditioning do we pass through, in our stages of life? Life is easier when we conform and behave according to the conditioning.
The same way, the Occident gets conditioned to not so spiced food. The Orient gets conditioned to spiced food
In many ways, Conditioning is way of preserving traditions.
Conditioning is a way of passing on the wisdom of generations.
Conditioning is a way of simplifying life. Being on autopilot. We know what to do because we’ve been taught it and we’ve done it an umpteen number of times until we no longer have to think about the action. It just happens and we can concentrate our energies into something new.
Conditioning makes sure of conformity to societal rules and expectations.
To a well-conditioned individual, there is certainty in everything, because everything is known, the rules, the modus operandi as well as the outcomes.
So is conditioning always fruitful and meaningful?
Conditioning helps us function. Mostly with the known, most of the time.
While conditioning helps to conserve our energies and channel it to more pioneering activity, conditioning becomes a handicap with the unknown and even with the known parameters… What does this mean?
It can happen when WE change, when we grow. Then even if all the parameters are known and we are in the good old surroundings, suddenly the known becomes the unknown, for we have outgrown the old. We then have to craft new skills, unlearn and relearn.
So if conditioning helps and hinders, how do we keep the part that helps and work around the part it hinders?
This is where Awareness comes in.
What is Awareness?
Awareness is being present in the moment. The ability to observe ourselves, ponder about it, and derive conclusions.
The ability to discern. To be able to know when something is serving and when something is not.
The actions that follow are a natural outcome of this very powerful ability.
Awareness is a sublime state where you have the opportunity to be your best.
Awareness unleashes creativity.
Awareness gives you choice.
It gives you the opportunity to exercise free will, whereas conditioning takes away the power of choice from us.
You have the choice to be whatever you want to be not what someone else wants you to be.
Awareness means giving yourself permission to be true to yourself, because you means that you are open to seeing and accepting whatever revelations or truths that come up about you, pleasant or not.
Awareness requires strength of character, for it might make us aware to unpleasant realities. It takes strength to look them in the eye, confront them and deal with them.
Awareness helps us lead an authentic life.
Awareness has brought social revolution, political change, created literary masterpieces and forged science ahead. In short awareness has forged progress and rescued our civilizations from ignorance, stagnation und extinction.
Being self-aware is an asset whose value cannot be overestimated. Awareness of our emotions, our reactions, our sensations, feelings and thoughts is the first step to being in control of them. For the greatest battle is not against an enemy external, but with thyself.
It was King Ashoka’s awareness at the battle of Kalinga in 261 BC that ended blind ambition, bloodshed, suffering and established a prosperous and peaceful reign in the subcontinent of India thereafter till his death. Even after successful waging and winning the war, he was pained by the meaningless suffering of the stricken. His awareness of the consequences of his decisions and deeds was what transformed this King into a benevolent ruler, benefactor of many, transforming, healing and growing an entire nation.
It was Newton’s awareness that things fall down that led to then revolutionary idea of Earth’s gravity.
It was political awareness of his times that prompted Shakespeare to pen down his now legendary masterpiece, Richard the third. His awareness and subsequent observations of human behaviour that led to the much acclaimed play Hamlet.
It was awareness of the prevalent systems, their effects on the peoples that led to the downfall of feudalism and the Monarchy in the early to middle 20th Century and gave rise to Democracy.
In all these examples, we see that awareness brings change, brings something new that is experienced as being better than before.
What are some signs that conditioning might be holding you back?
• Feeling stuck.
• Sometimes, we might be doing the same thing again and again, expecting different results, but not getting it. Still we persist with what we know and what we’ve been taught, caught in a cycle, yearning to break free.
• Feeling unfulfilled
• Complaining but not taking action to change anything.
• Feeling like one doesn’t have the tools, energy or the know how to take action, to experiment
• Excessive fear of failure because one is conditioned to think that stepping outside will lead to danger.
• Blaming situations, society and all else around us.
• Fear of losing acceptance.
• Stagnation in “being”
What are some signs of being in an aware state?
• Taking responsibility of one’s own life and choices. Being in the driver’s seat of one’s life
• Tends to look at fixing problems, finding workaround and solutions.
• Having the ability to exercise creativity, finding and having outlets for expressing one’s creative talent.
• Constantly in a state of progress and growth
• Feeling fulfilled in life.
• Knows one’s values
• Being in a state of flow mostly
• Having a sense of being in harmony with yourself and all the elements that are interacting with you.
• Having a sense of your purpose and all your actions propel you towards your desired purpose
Self-Application
We are not slaves of our past, of destiny, of fate. We can carve our destiny. We can carve our future if only we dream.
To break free from limiting conditionings of yesterday and today, the tool we need is awareness.
Like mentioned before, conditioning need not always be unfavourable. But it is awareness that helps us discern if it is limiting or liberating.
It is said that our biggest strengths are our biggest weaknesses.
What works in one situation will not work in another. It is awareness of precisely the dynamics of the situation, our reactions and the reactions of the external environ that will determine, what would be the most optimal plan of action there.
Coaching Application
In coaching, we often talk about clients being stuck.
What makes them stuck?
In many cases, something that they are trained to do or have an opinion that is no longer serving them.
But they desperately hold on it for the security of the familiar or because they don’t know what else to do.
What would happen if our Client becomes aware of his/her behaviour and what it is precipitating? This simple awareness gives them immense power and clarity. They are now able to make a decision armed with this knowledge. In today’s world of rat races, many of us are running for an invisible prize. Many of us don’t even know the prize but are running because we are expected to.
What if we take a moment to take stock?
How do we sustain the empowered state of self-awareness?
Self-reflection is key to self-awareness.
One can put in several structures in place to aid in sustaining the process and habit of self-awareness
These could be,
• Daily meditation
• Yoga,
• Journaling
• Scheduling a time in every day for self-reflection
• Following other practices which bring meaning to the individual, like, prayer, running, jogging etc.
• Celebrating the big and small wins especially at the beginning
• Having an accountability partner
• Writing out clearly what the goal is and putting up visual reminders and positive messages where they can be seen if a visual person.
• Defining obstacles and ways of overcoming it.
Reflection
 Are my goals REALLY mine?
 What is this giving me?
 What do I really want in life?
 Am I getting what I want by doing what I am doing?
 What is propelling me towards my current thoughts and behaviour?
 What are my resources in effecting change?
 What are my obstacles?
 How can I overcome them?
 What structures can I put in place in sustain my new behaviour?