Why Do I Feel Blocked About My Job Search?

Posted on November 28, 2015 by Cougar Brenneman, One of Thousands of Career Coaches on Noomii.

When many people talk about what blocks them from the career path that they really want, they blame themselves for self-sabotage, lack of confidence, conflict with others, or inner conflict. But maybe there’s a way of overcoming blocks without blaming yourself or anyone else.

The Real Reasons for Being Blocked

For example, you might be blocked about your for some very good reasons. For example,

• Maybe you’re trying to force yourself to be someone you’re not. Overcoming this problem requires honesty, self-acceptance, and honoring your authentic self so that you can search for the employment that you really need.
• Maybe you know something that you’re not admitting to yourself, and you’ll have to face the facts squarely before you can move forward.
• Maybe you’re divided between two great possibilities that you can’t bear to choose between. If this is so, you’ll need to negotiate between your competing selves and satisfy both of them.
• Perhaps you have an important hidden contrary desire that’s fighting against you finding the job that you consciously think you want. This hidden part of you is succeeding brilliantly in stopping you—exactly as it intends to do and for your best interests.
• Maybe this inner opponent sabotages your work search because it has a better idea. You’ll need to recognize, negotiate with, and satisfy the needs of this inner opponent. When this inner enemy supports your job search, nothing will stop you!
• Perhaps your intuition is telling you about an exciting possibility, and it refuses to let you to sell yourself short. Or maybe your intuition is saying that you’ve taken a wrong turn. You’ll need to reexamine your path, your reasons, and your goals.

Then there are the negative reasons for being blocked.

• Maybe they’re caused by lack of confidence or anxiety caused by past failures, childhood trauma, or abuse—which may have happened a very long time ago. These problems will lose their stranglehold when you change your body’s reaction to your memories.
• Perhaps your employment blocks are caused by bad habits and long-established patterns that stop you from moving forwards. With help, you can change the most deeply ingrained behavior patterns.
• Or they’re caused by impossible present-day odds or opposition from others. There’s no shame in leaving an unfair fight, and you may need support to do this strategically.
• Perhaps you know what you should do, but for some unknown reason, you can’t bring yourself to do it. You’ll need to uncover what that reason is and then systematically overcome it.

You May Have Tried Many Things that Don’t Work

You’ve already received great advice from other people—and from books, videos, YouTube, workshops, and elsewhere around the Internet. It can be very frustrating when these things don’t work very well for you. Perhaps you begin to wonder if something’s wrong with you or if for some reason, the advice you’ve received doesn’t apply to your situation.

Maybe you’ve frittered away time focusing on unnecessary things until it’s gotten too late. Or perhaps you keep so busy doing low priority things that there’s no time left for what you really want to do. A second pair of eyes and a second perspective might get you back on track.

Remember that your issues are unique to you, even if they appear superficially similar to that video on YouTube. There really is no one-size-fits-all solution for any of us. Your plan needs to be customized to your personality, your unique perspective, and your unique needs,

Keep Your Eye on the Prize

The biggest danger for many people is settling for less than what they really want because they think that their real goals are “impractical” or “impossible.” We have all suffered damage to our self-confidence, unresolved emotions from past failures, shame that no one remembers but us, and wounds from childhood abuse. These problems prevent us from targeting the great career that would make us happy and fulfilled.

What if you could develop a perspective that gives you the power to triumph over all the things that stop you from advancing to where you could best shine—a perspective that allows you to thrive on adversity?

As an exercise, imagine a future in which you’ve been able to overcome every problem and step into the job, position, or career that you’ve always wanted. Imagine you’re looking back at your blocks and conflicts as bad memories, long behind you. Mentally stand in that future of great success for a moment, happy and satisfied that you, too, have transformed your work life to be the way you choose it to be.

While you’re standing in the shoes of this successful future self, look back from the future at the present. What would you recommend to your present-day self? How did your future self get past the problems keep you in employment that you don’t like? How did you create the plan that ultimately worked?

The Advice from Your Future Self

Your future self knows better than to believe all of your excuses for being stuck in your current job. “If only you knew,” your future self says, “you would forget about the doubt, uncertainty, and lack of self confidence that you feel today. It’s all a sham.”

Your future self is not some Pollyanna feel-good motivational speaker without common sense about the job market. From the future, you can tell when your present-day excuses are phony, and what you want most is for your present-day self to figure out what your false beliefs are and then to systematically overcome them.

You can find and resolve or heal these causes, whether they’re based in past trauma, inner conflict, self-sabotage, or deeply ingrained behavior patterns. You have the wisdom to reexamine your career path, your reasons, and your goals so that you can move forward with a sense of personal power, confidence, and ease.

How I Can Help

As your coach, I’ll help you embrace your true self and authentic values so that you can honor them in your search for employment.

If you’re stuck because you’re fighting with yourself, you can’t win unless both sides win. I can help you recognize, negotiate with, and satisfy the needs of your inner opponent. When your inner enemy becomes an inner friend who supports your job search, nothing can stop you.

I’ll also help you release past trauma, low self-esteem, failures, and unreasonable fears. You’ll be able to develop your inner road map, supercharge your engine, and release the inner brakes that slow you down. Your bad habits and ingrained patterns can be a thing of the past.

You’ll develop the clarity of purpose, drive, and insight that you need to move relentlessly towards your best employment goals.