How To Tell A Commitment Is For Real
Posted on November 25, 2015 by Reginald Jackson Sr, One of Thousands of Executive Coaches on Noomii.
What we focus on is what's most important. How and where we spend our time says a lot about our commitments. Being honest with yourself matters.
It’s been said that disappointment is where expectation and reality meet. You have your heart set on something and it doesn’t quite work out like you hoped it would. When that happens, you may have a range of emotions. Getting yourself back on track is a process, and depending on what the disappointment is, you may never truly get over it. This can be especially painful when we let ourselves down. Falling short of a goal or aspiration is not unusual [although the stakes can be]. This often happens if we’re ill prepared or lacking structure or direction. Understanding the thought or motivation behind your goal or aspiration is significant. Choosing something that’s important to you is a part of the process, but there’s more to it than that. It also goes without saying, you should be intentional; or does it? Why do we make some of the decisions we do? What do we want to achieve? Sometimes we’re not even sure! How do you set the stage for making successful choices; especially those with greater consequences? You first need to establish the relevance and importance. Once you identify what it truly means to you, the better equipped you are. Our choices fall into one of three categories
•Interests
•Desires
•Commitments
An interest can be a fleeting thought, or maybe something with a little more meaning. The thing to remember about interests is you can have many, and they’ll change often. Let’s say you go to a restaurant and look over the menu. You see several items you may want to order. Another example may be deciding which article to read in a magazine. In other words, what you decide isn’t really a big deal. It’s simply an interest!
A desire is a bit different. This is something you think about more often and can imagine yourself doing; like a vacation, buying a new car, or changing jobs. These things require more planning and carry greater consequences. Some desires can be unusually strong, and fill your thoughts for a long period of time.
Finally, commitments come about no matter what! No one needs to convince you of it, and you can’t stop thinking about it. You can draw distinctions between interests and desires; although there is some difficulty that exists where desires and commitments are concerned. Confusing the two is something that can happen often. A desire can take on the appearance of a commitment, and ultimately set us up for disappointment. So how do you tell the difference between them? A commitment goes beyond the realm of possibility; even beyond the “how”. With a desire, even though is seems like you really want it, your heart isn’t in it. A desire is actually an imposter of a commitment! It has all the elements, minus the unmistakable passion.
To give you a better understanding, consider feats of heroism, breakthroughs in technology, or selfless acts of love for a friend or family member. The outcome is achieved no matter what, in spite of circumstances or insurmountable odds. You don’t change your mind, or even give it a second thought; you just do it! That’s not to say there aren’t moments of sadness, disappointment, or feelings of defeat. However, in the grand theme of things, there is nothing that will sway or deter you
If you leave yourself a “back door” or give yourself permission to change your mind, it’s safe to say it is more than likely a [strong] desire. Desires can be very convincing, but don’t quite cut it when you compare them to the real thing. The next time you make a commitment to yourself, give some thought to whether it meets the criteria I’ve suggested. If you’re willing to do the unthinkable, or make incredible sacrifices, you’re on the right track.
