Do You See What They See? (Part 5)
Posted on November 25, 2015 by Reginald Jackson Sr, One of Thousands of Executive Coaches on Noomii.
Your place in the world is often times noticed by everyone but you. Knowing where you fit in and why, is a much more powerful way to approach life!
Life is a spectator sport. We watch games on TV or at the stadium, and root for our favorite team. We also watch people at the mall, on the street, or maybe even children at the park. We either watch things unfold, or arrive at the scene and try piece together what may have happened. In all these scenarios, we are witness to the present or the past. For those events that happened in the past, we may even offer our opinion on how things could have gone differently. Sort of like a Monday morning quarterback! Interestingly enough, the one thing we don’t consider being a spectator of is ourselves.
Imagine what we could discover if we spent more time actually paying attention to our activities like we do to the others around us.
If you’re familiar with the word mindfulness, you know it’s associated with awareness; one of my favorites. Awareness is also the first of Four Simple Steps to Success. Looking past the specific definition, what is mindfulness? What stands out for me is the essence of “maintaining a nonjudgmental state…” The absence of judgment is a wonderful freedom that allows endless exploration and curiosity. The curiosity of a child is an amazing thing to watch. Children have no preconceived notions nor do they second guess their experience; they just take it all in! If we couple that curiosity with our ability to reason in the absence of judgment, we are more apt to develop a “spectator attitude” and learn incredible things about ourselves.
One example of how developing a spectator attitude works is my own story. My career in the Marine Corps, and then as an IT Manager gave me great exposure to crisis management. As a matter of fact, I’m pretty good at it. Because I lived it for so for many years, it became easy to perform triage and determine what needed attention first. However, after the smoke cleared, and the crisis had been contained, I had a feeling of loneliness; wondering what was next. For quite a while, I attributed it to the adrenaline rush. As I began to develop a “spectator attitude”, I realized something very important. When I went into crisis management mode, I would have an either/or conversation with myself. Either I paid attention to one thing, or I focused on something else. I also found myself having this either/or conversation even when crisis situations didn’t exist! Much to my dismay, it also created exclusion and separation. I was unknowingly distancing myself from certain people in my life, which created a void. Once I began to recognize this, I was able to make some much needed adjustments. By becoming more mindful of my actions, I noticed a change in the behavior or responses I received from others. This caused me to see things in a totally different light. It created the awareness necessary to pay closer attention to my own activities; where before I was simply being a witness to what was taking place.
Just think what you could learn by asking yourself questions based on personal observations. What if you were slow to anger, or prejudice, or condemnation? What environment could you create in your home, or at work? Developing a personal spectator attitude may change the way you see yourself and the world.
