What Do You Desire?

Posted on November 17, 2015 by Rachelle Smalldon, One of Thousands of Executive Coaches on Noomii.

“Yes! Exactly!” my inner monologue screamed with excitement, while my external presence remained solemnly still, staring at my screen with an intent “I’m busy” face. I sat quietly with earphones draping from my ears, my large latte and laptop occupying my usual spot (a.k.a. my office) in my corner of the Starbucks on the corner.

I spend a good portion of my time mentoring youth and young adults. The questions most of them are facing in their life, when it seems we are brought together, is “what am I going to do with my life?” So many of them feel they have to have their life-long path mapped out by the ripe age of seventeen. So many of them have no idea what they want to do, and aren’t really sure how to figure it out.

I’ve been there.

Following high school I quickly enrolled in the local college arts program. It was a vague program and a quick reaction to justify to my parents why i didn’t want to go to Graceland, their alma-mater.

I lasted a semester.

I felt lost and unsure of why I was going to class every day. I lacked direction and motivation. I figured I must just be in the wrong program, and I think maybe I just wasn’t quite ready to be out of high school. So I quit college, upgraded my math grade and worked in a greasy fast food joint, and said “I’ll go back after summer”.

Following that summer, I enrolled back in the Business program because… well … it seemed the responsible and logical thing to do. I didn’t know what I wanted to do with it but you can have a business in anything, right? Yeah, but you have to know what that anything is. You can’t have a business in nothing.

I lasted a semester.

I still felt like I was aimlessly going through the motions of school. I didn’t like my classes. I still lived with my parents and had the same job I did in high school. Nothing had changed since high school, so how could I possibly move forward in life? I felt trapped.

I decided I needed out. I needed a change. So I sent an email to the Graceland recruiters to say “OK, maybe I do want to go to Graceland”. Three months later I boarded a plane on my own to the small, Amish town of Lamoni, Iowa to begin during the Winter term. At the end of my first semester at Graceland, I changed my major again.

But this time, I did it right.

“Do what you love to do. Do nothing else. How can you think of wasting a moment doing something for a living you don’t like to do? That is not a living. That is a dying.” – Neale Donald Walsch

These words have become my personal motto for life and all its choices. If you don’t love it, and you don’t absolutely have to do it, then why? Why waste your life being miserable? Why put yourself in that position?

I found my third and final major by determining my passion with a few simple steps:

1. Answer for yourself: What do I like to do in my spare time? What do I look forward to doing? What am I passionate about? I thought about my hobbies and things I enjoy doing. I was into music and singing, but I didn’t really feel that was something I wanted to do full time. I was taking some music classes and I was content for it to stay like that. I thought about what I do when I’m bored and what I see others doing that I wish I was. It seemed really silly but I really like to write and to draw fonts and letters. I changed up my personal handwriting font on a fairly regular basis. I also liked computers and typing and creating things on the computer.

2. Figure out how to do that on a daily basis. I picked up my university’s handbook and started flipping through the programs it offered, searching for one that jumped out and spoke to me. I also kept in mind these things I like to do in my spare time. What classes could I take that I would think were fun, so going to class didn’t seem like torture? I searched and searched and finally found a degree program that said to me “that sounds awesome!” Feeling excited about the classes meant to me that there must be something there. I hated going to class.

3. Do something about it. Take action to make it happen. I went down to the registrars office at Graceland and changed my major to Communications in Publication Design. Perfect. Classes included topics in writing, digital imaging, media studies, journalism, art. I couldn’t wait to start.

4. Don’t look back. I never made a decision based on rationale, logic, or what I felt I “should” do to be responsible or make money, again.

This philosophy in life and decision making has stuck with me and I have applied it to a number of big moves and paths I’ve taken in life so far. I feel content with my choices and since then have never had a job (albeit a two month stint between positions) that I didn’t love and feel excited about getting out of bed for.

This video called “What If Money Was No Object” from Alan Watts was what came across my feed as I sat in that corner Starbucks. It speaks to everything I proclaim and want to share with the students I have worked with over the years, regarding choosing their next path in life. It begs the question: What do you desire?

“Ladies and gentlemen, If I could offer you only one tip for the future … " (Baz Luhrmann, Everybody’s Free to Wear Sunscreen)

But, besides the sunscreen… this would be it: What If Money Was No Object?

[Originally posted on The [Steering] Manual at www.steerempowerment.com]

Rachelle Smalldon is the Founder of Steer Empowerment Consulting. Specializing in life and leadership coaching with emerging leaders and non-profit organizations, Rachelle works to help her clients “finally know that you control where you go – you can steer.” [Higgins]
Learn more about Rachelle’s experience at www.steerempowerment.com