How to Cope with Difficult Times
Posted on October 24, 2010 by David Rude, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
How can we cope with these difficult times and still pursue our personal potentials?
It’s been said that “To become what we are capable of becoming is the only end in life.” But, unfortunately, many people don’t dare to dream about what they can achieve. They lock their greatness away, afraid of their own vast potential. Instead of stepping out of their comfort zone, they deny life’s possibilities and choose to live safe and less meaningful lives. Nelson Mandela said, “There is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.”
Recently I’ve been hearing and reading in the global media that people are demoralized, disheartened and lacking confidence and that there is anger and frustration as politicians gear up, again, for another election. At the barber shop the other day I heard several people ranging in ages talking about the challenges and stress the current economic situation has had on their families.
How can we cope with these difficult times and still pursue our personal potentials?
1. First, bear in mind that society may have a picture in mind of who you should be though it may have nothing to do with who you really are. The media often portrays whole populations with only a few words or facts. So, if you choose to accept these difficult times as a victim and to blame others for your current situation you will be unhappy and probably less successful. If instead you choose to turn your problems into opportunities and challenges and to find meaning in all things you will experience success and be on your way to personal happiness. How you choose to pursue your true potential is up to you, but it always includes making choices.
2. Let’s say you have held a high level work position for many years and now don’t have a job. What choices do you have? You have the choice to get angry or to even be happy or to find the opportunity in the situation. Here’s where the true power lies. The situation you’re in has happened for some reason. It wants to tell you something and to help you clearly recognize something that is not working or wants to change or to heal. It wants you to pay attention and to recognize or learn something so that a similar situation doesn’t have to happen again, and even more importantly, so that everyone involved grows and moves forward. Approaching life from the opportunity level gets right to what is out of alignment very quickly and brings things into alignment so that positive change can occur.
3. Another choice is to consider what’s worked before. If you’ve had success in the past, remind yourself why. Don’t simply get caught up in the media noise and the emotionality of the current times, but instead focus on what has helped you before and use that to help you recreate new success.
4. U. S. Admiral James Stockdale, Vietnam War POW for eight years (read more in Collins’ Good to Great), developed a strategy for times like this. It’s called the Stockdale Paradox. He suggests that you “retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties AND at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.” In using this strategy you don’t come back from challenges weaker, but stronger.
You can choose to be a victim and get caught up in the anger and chaos of our current economic situation or you can choose to focus on and retain faith in your potential. You know what you can accomplish because you’ve done it before. Reconsider yourself and your situation in a positive light and with a new and different perspective.
Nelson Mandela also wrote, “And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” Keeping your focus on possibilities and positive choices rather than on negative things will help move you forward to your potential, and, I have found that when we act in these positive ways we also have a significant and worthwhile affect on others.
