The last night with my Ex was a living Hell

Posted on November 12, 2015 by Bill Conley, One of Thousands of Family Coaches on Noomii.

The last night with my Ex was a living Hell
I will never forget the evening of February 4th, 2011.
My former spouse and I had problems in our relationship on and off for the previous 10 years. Most of our problems stemmed from her belief that I was unfaithful because as she put it, I could not keep my eyes off of other woman and that use to drive her crazy. The truth be told from my perspective, I never did have a problem with a wandering eye and believed her notion that I was unfaithful was her problem, not mine.
The evening started off well enough. My youngest daughter, my former spouse and I were at a dance program for my third daughter. We were sitting in the third row of seats and as usual, I had my former spouse on my left holding her hand. At intermission, my youngest daughter let us know she was going to use the restroom and I accompanied her holding her hand as we walked up the aisle. When we arrived back to our seats, my former spouse was seated and as I went to grab her hand, she pulled her hand away from mine and I immediately knew there was a problem. We sat quietly without talking to one another the rest of the evening. I knew something had happened, I just didn’t know what. We drove home separately from the program and when we arrived home, I asked her what the problem was. She said, you know, I indicated I didn’t know. She then went into a tirade suggesting that I had looked at the butt of a woman while walking to the bathroom holding the hand of my daughter. Rather than argue, I retreated upstairs as she followed me yelling at me telling me how I was unfaithful and how embarrassed she was to be with me when I was staring at the backside of another woman in front of her.
At the top of the stairs, she told my youngest daughter that Daddy would be sleeping in her room and that she was going to have a sleep over with Mommy (this happened quite often). I brushed my teeth and headed to my daughter’s room to sleep. I don’t know why I felt this night was going to be different, but I thought about blocking my daughter’s door and leaving the lights on as I slept. Shortly after I put my on the pillow, my former spouse entered the room and began yelling and screaming at me taking a very aggressive posture at the edge of the bed. After she was finished, she stormed out, slammed the door and the door of the master bedroom.
Five minutes later, she was back, yelling and screaming again, telling me how she hated it when I looked at another woman and how difficult it was for her to be around me when I couldn’t keep my eyes to myself. For the first time, I announced to her that if I wanted to look at another woman, that I could do so and that I never felt I had a problem. I finally had reached a point where I could no longer let her accuse me of looking at other woman, something she had done for 14 years of our marriage. For the record, I was never unfaithful to my spouse, physically or emotionally with any other woman. I was a dedicated Father and a family man and I never ever wanted to get divorced even though living with my former spouse was a living nightmare.
After I finally stood up to my wife for the very first time, she jumped onto the bed with wild, crazed eyes, jumping on top of me and straddling me as she sat on my chest. Her fist began to fly and she landed blow after blow on my face, neck and shoulders. I attempted to protect myself, but she just kept pounding me yelling at the top of her lungs over and over again, I hate you, I hate you. This went on for a couple of minutes before she I had the opportunities to push her off me and I jumped out of the bed. She blocked the door and then came at me like a prize fighter punching me in the face numerous times. I eventually got past her, but she still had the door blocked. She then proceeded to take items from my daughter’s desk and throw them at me. She threw a black fingernail polish bottle at me that hit me in the ear and actually broke spewing black polish on me, the bedspread and white carpet. I had enough at that point and moved forward towards the door. She positioned herself in front of the door. I proceeded to push her away from the door and quickly exited the down the stairs and into the garage in my underwear. I knew I needed to get out of there. I could hear my former spouse talking to my daughter’s, so I went into my closet, grabbed a pair of sweats and my wallet and left the home.
I drove around for a while in shock of what just happened. I kept thinking I need to go to the police station and at one point I drove past the station, but it was closed, so I drove to a local motel and began writing down on paper what had just happened, here are the first few lines.
“I left the house after (her name) beat me up. I have a black eye, my left temple is killing me, my ear is bleeding, my neck is red and hurting, my left arm is hurting from my attempts to block the blows. (Her name) was completely out of control, screaming and yelling, I hate you. My jaw is killing me, my head is swirling and I have a massive headache. I am certain, I took numerous (15+) direct shots to the head and dozens more to my arms, neck and body. The back of my head is killing me.”
I slept at the hotel that evening and in the morning I went to the police and reported the beating. My former spouse was arrested and eventually pleads guilty to assaulting me.
The following Monday, I filed a protection order against her and she was escorted out of the home on Tuesday. Two weeks later she filed for divorce.
To this date, my former spouse contends that I punched and hurt myself, all in an elaborate attempt to get the upper hand in the divorce, even though she pled guilty in a court of law.
I kept the protective order in place for 9 months and during that time, we were not able to communicate with one another. We still do not communicate with one another and she still tells everyone the wounds I received were self-inflicted.