Is it time to poke the eye of the tiger and stand up for yourself?

Posted on November 12, 2015 by Bill Conley, One of Thousands of Family Coaches on Noomii.

Is it time to poke the eye of the tiger and stand up for yourself?
Why is it that we let people treat us like doormats, walk all over us and make us feel we are not worthy?
What tactics do abusive people use to put us down put us in our place and silence our voice?
Fear and intimidation, threats, punishment and bullying.
Abusive people use our fear of them against us. They know that if they create an atmosphere where we are fearful of them, they can control us. They may not consciously know they are doing this, but the outcome is still the same, you give in because you fear standing up for yourself.
When you poke the eye of the tiger by standing up for yourself, you risk them getting aggressive, violent, loud and punishing. Anyone who has stood up to a bully, an abuser, a person with a short fuse knows the outcome is an outburst so painful that you have learned not to confront the abuser out of fear. That is exactly what they want. They want you to cower in fear of them. They want to control you and how you feel and you end up feeling like dog crap. They could care less how you feel or what you think. There only goal is to get you to do what they want and if you don’t do what they want, well then, there will be hell to pay and they will mete out the punishment.
What do you normally do when you have a huge blowout argument with a loved one? You are probably the one that goes back apologizing for your behavior vowing to do better next time. Or, you just go on your merry way hoping things will get better in the future.
Stop it!!!!!!
When are you going to stop being a doormat too others?
When are you going to start standing up for yourself?
Whether it is a parent, spouse, co-worker, sibling, child, friend or relative, no-one has the right to hurt you, physically or mentally. You don’t have to put up with anyone’s abuse. You have the right to peace, love, happiness, acceptance, respect, honor and dignity.
Isn’t it time to put your foot down, to poke the eye of the tiger and let them know you are not going to put up with their aggressive abusive behavior anymore? If you have children together, your children as well. They need to be put on notice that you will no longer stand for their abuse against you.
An abuser is not just hurting you, they are hurting everyone you come in contact with throughout the day. When you are not at your best, those around you suffer a little just as you suffer.
When there are children involved, the damage to their self-worth, esteem and love can be devastating. Do you really want your children to grow up with low self-esteem and becoming a doormat to some future abuser?
Aren’t you tired of walking on eggshells so as to not upset the tiger?
What are you going to do? By doing nothing, do you think things will improve?
It may be time to poke the eye of the tiger. By poking, I am referring to standing up for yourself, drawing a line in the sand, announcing that you will no longer be bullied, threatened, punished and that you no longer will live in fear.
Let them know that you are willing to remove yourself temporarily or permanently from the relationship if the way they treat you does not improve to your satisfaction.
This may be very difficult because as you know they will be pissed off, offended, blame you for all the problems, come down hard on you verbally and possibly physically, yell and scream at you, threaten you and try to make you feel as though it is all you.
You know the truth and you know that what they say will not be the truth.
I recommend if you decide to confront your abuser that you do this in public, with a counselor, a church official, another friend who knows the two of you. The bottom line, confront them where it will be difficult for them to hurt or harm you in front of others.
Make sure you set some ground rules, whatever makes sense for you.
Put them on notice that you will not discuss the conversation you just had with them at home and if they insist on bringing up your discussion in hopes of furthering their abuse of you, remove yourself from the conversation.
Abusers, bullies, rely on you backing down, giving in and silencing your voice. They can’t do this if you don’t let them.
I understand how difficult this may be, trust me, I have been there. I know what it is like to stand up to the bully, to defend yourself against false accusations and to justify yourself actions or behavior. I know that when I did stand up for myself, the volume of the conversation got louder, the rhetoric grew larger, and the pace of the conversation increased and past invariably was brought into the picture. I am certain you have experienced exactly what I went through and possibly much more.
You don’t deserve to be treated with anything less than love, respect, honor, dignity and acceptance of who you are and who you will become.
The time to stand up for you is now! Everyone connected to you in any way deserves all of you, the full you and not the shell of who you have become.
You know you deserve better. What better time than the present to let those that harm or hurt you know that you will not be taking their abuse anymore.
Mind you, they will not have a clue what you are talking about. They see you as the problem and they’re correcting and fixing you as the solution. Doesn’t matter what they think anymore. You know what you have to do and what is right for you, now go out and become the person you always knew you could be.