Are you living with a sociopath?

Posted on November 12, 2015 by Bill Conley, One of Thousands of Family Coaches on Noomii.

Are you living with a sociopath?
Do you live with or know someone in your life that is a sociopath and or a narcissist?
Is this person a venomous, angry, bitter, hostile, abusive person?
Are you afraid some or all the time?
Do you feel as though you have to walk on eggshells around them?
Do you feel as though you are living in an alternate universe? What you think is right, they think is wrong or what you think is wrong they think is right?
Do you feel as though you punished from time to time or all the time?
Does this other person blame you for literally everything?
Do you feel as though they are pathological liars?
Do you feel mistreated?
Do you feel misunderstood?
Are they loud, angry and intimidating?
Do they make up or say things that you know are not true, but they insist are true? Remember this, just because they said it does not make it true!
Do you feel as though you are constantly being judged and they are the judge and jury and what they say they believe is all that matters?
Do they accuse you of behaviors or things that you supposedly have done, but you know you have not and insist you have done them?
Have they hurt you physically?
Have they hurt you with verbal insults?
Does it seem as though the world in which you live must revolve around them and only them?
Do you feel bullied?
Do they label you?
Do they criticize you?
Do you feel as though you are being controlled?
Do you feel as though if you don’t do the right thing, there will be hell to pay, but you don’t know what the right thing is from time to time.
Are you constantly guessing the mental state of the other person?
Do you often wonder if you are the crazy one when in fact you believe you they are the crazy one?
Do they compare you to others to make you feel inadequate?
Do they yell or scream at you in order to silence your voice?
Do you find yourself taking on more and more responsibility in the relationship in hopes that this will cut down on the abuse?
Do you feel as though you are being punished?
Do you feel threatened?
Did they constantly remind you or talk about past events never allowing the past to be in the past?
Do you believe they personally try to hurt you, put you down, inflict pain upon you, and minimalize who you are as a person?
I could go on and on, just know you are not alone.
You are probably living with or around a narcissistic sociopath who has had some form of trauma in their life they refuse to acknowledge or talk about.
Living with or around a person like this can be very difficult and confusing. You never know from one moment to the next how this person is going to react to you so you stay vigilant at all times which becomes exhausting.
Ask yourself this question, why do I stay around this individual?
My best advice, get out or leave, if you can, this person WILL NEVER CHANGE!
If you choose to stay, remember this person will CONTINUE to attack or punish you. It is in their nature, they cannot help it.
If you choose to leave, remember, this person will CONTINUE to believe you are the one to blame and may continue to attack and punish you. You see they can’t find fault in themselves, only you. You are the problem, you are to blame, and you can’t be a victim because they are.
A sociopath has no conscience. They seriously don’t know that what they are doing is inherently destructive. They have no filter and don’t know the difference between what is right and correct behavior and what is wrong and hurtful behavior. The confusing part is because you want to believe they should know that what they are doing is incredibly hurtful, but they just don’t know. You want them to know how badly they are hurting you, they just can’t know.
You hold out hope that one day they will get it and they will understand that what they are doing is extremely detrimental to a healthy relationship/friendship, but guess what, they won’t ever change without a tremendous amount of therapy which they refuse to get because they will NEVER acknowledge they have a problem – you are the problem, you are the one that needs fixing, not them.
A sociopath knows only to blame others for everything in life.
I would encourage you to seek help on how to deal with this person in your life if you choose to continue the relationship. Read as much as you can about living with a sociopath. Your mental health and maybe your physical health depend on you learning all you can about how to survive, yes, survive.
Remember this, they will never change or change will occur only if they have an epiphany and someday wake up and realize what they have been doing is wrong, don’t count on it, probably will never happen.
I know this article sounds as though there may be no hope and only you know what you are going through and whether or not things in your relationship can change. If they are truly a sociopath, narcissist, chances are, things will never get better. That is the plain hard truth.
You, however, do get a choice. You get to choose the path you would like to live going forward. You are not stuck; you don’t have to live like this anymore. You are strong, you are brave, and you have survived and will continue to survive. There are plenty of people who love you, who care about you and will support and help you through the change.
It is time to stand up for yourself, to move beyond a meager existence, to one in which you not only survive but thrive.
If you contact me, I will help you understand what you are going through, I will help you understand your options; I will help you find your voice and strength to begin a course of action that will help you move forward.
You are valuable, you are loveable. You have the right to joy, peace and happiness in your life. Now go out, make the changes you need to make and know you are not alone. There is help just waiting for you to make the first move.