5 Tips For Your Best Dating Experience Yet

Posted on September 15, 2015 by Carla Khabbaz, One of Thousands of Relationship Coaches on Noomii.

I often speak with friends and clients who are resistant to dating. They have limiting beliefs or assumptions from past experiences that they carry with them into every new situation. These limiting beliefs and assumptions are actually energy blocks that eventually manifest in some negative way in the relationship.

These blocks cloud our perceptions and limit our ability to enjoy each relationship to its fullest capacity regardless of the outcome. When our energy is distracted by past events or tied up nursing old wounds, our awareness is not in the present and we lose our ability to stay connected to Spirit.

Here are the 5 rules I bring into every dating situation. I use these to ensure that I stay connected to my Spirit, so that my Highest Self; and not my Ego is running the show.

Set an Intention.
Set an intention as to what you want to experience. You’ve heard me say before that our thoughts and beliefs are Energy. In setting an intention as to what you want and expect to happen, you are broadcasting to the Universe and everything around you what you want reflected back to you. My intention changes from time to time, but is usually involves something along the lines of: remain present, take it one date at a time, let my intuitive feelings be my compass, be open, and trust that everything will work out in Divine and Perfect order.

Another benefit to setting an intention is that it helps ensure your focus is on what you do want to happen as opposed to what you don’t want to happen. In other words, you are focusing your energy on what you want, not on what you don’t want.

The Universe always delivers what you ask for, so make sure your thoughts are in alignment.
Follow Intuition
Detach from Ego in order to follow Intuition. Your intuition is your inner voice that lives in your heart. It knows the goals of your Soul and always offers the guidance necessary to stay connected to Spirit. It’s your place of feeling. Accessing it requires quieting the mind, connecting to Spirit, asking for guidance and trusting the answer. Staying tuned in to that intuitive place of feeling will give you the confidence and wisdom to navigate any situation. It allows you to feel fully empowered to be the fullest expression of you rather than some version of you that might fit with your date. Rather than sizing up every little thing the guy is doing or not doing, you’re taking a more general approach and simply focusing on how you’re feeling in each moment.

Stay Present
What does staying present in the world of dating mean, anyway? It means keeping your energy in the present as opposed to the past or the future. It’s letting go of any attachment to how things might turn out, letting go of the need to know what is coming next, and releasing any fear, worry or doubt. All of those things are future thoughts that distract us from the present moment, drain our energy, create unnecessary ego-drama and cloud our intuition.

Remind yourself that each date is simply an opportunity to have fun and get to know him a little better. Nothing more, nothing less. Try going into each date excited to see what this next, installment might reveal.

Be the Conscious Chooser
When you are dating from a place of being connected to your Highest Self, you also have to be willing to be a Conscious Chooser. We often forget that the greatest freedom we have is the power of choice. So, if things are no longer feeling good, remember you can choose to move on.

When a relationship isn’t feeling good, it usually means a few things are out of alignment. It could be your head and your heart wanting different things, it could mean that certain core values aren’t being met and that you’re not authentically in your power. It could be a clash between your Soul’s goals and your Ego’s goals.

This is where a lot of people get stuck. Often times in this situation, our Ego comes barging in to run the show and we end up in a tug-of-war with ourselves. Our Ego wants to salvage the relationship, fix the guy, avoid “failure”. However, those are all thoughts and perceptions of the Ego. The Spirit sees things symbolically and doesn’t take things personally. It does not perceive outcomes as mistakes, only opportunities to learn and grow.

Either way, the solution is to trust your feelings and love yourself enough to make the conscious choice that’s most in alignment with your Soul’s desire.

Appreciate the Lessons
Whether the relationship ends or continues, reflecting back on what you learned is always helpful. This is where you need to ditch your ego’s attachment to the relationship, because it will trip you up every time. Your Spirit’s perspective sees the relationship symbolically. Instead of blaming the guy, beating yourself up, feeling like you made a mistake or failed, shift gears into your place of Spirit and ask: what did I learn from this person, what lessons did this relationship yield, how am I wiser and stronger than I was before, what learning opportunity did this person bring to me? Then, find gratitude in your heart for yourself, the other person and your experience.

I hope you find these 5 steps helpful in your current or future dating adventures. I’d love to hear your comments and experiences — so feel free to share below!

With lots of love and gratitude for you!

xo, Carla