My Top 5 Communication Tips

Posted on August 27, 2015 by Charmaine Martell, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

I’ve done a lot of reading on mindfulness in the past. I’d like to share with you how an aspect of mindfulness has really supported me to grow my communication skills with friends family and clients.

Have you ever been in an emotionally charged conversation with someone and realized you haven’t actually heard a word that they said? I have.

I realized that was so busy thinking about my response, or my opinion or what I want to share that I wasn’t really listening to the person I talking with. I was busy thinking up ways to FIX whatever issue they were telling me about I hardly heard their feelings about whatever the circumstance is.

I’ve also had it happen to me. There have been situations when I really needed to be heard, needed someone to listen, only to be interrupted, given advice, or come to the realization that the other person really wasn’t listening to me at all.

I didn’t like how that made me feel. I didn’t like the thought of making someone else feel like I didn’t care enough to really listen to them.

I began to learn about mindfulness and how to stay present in the moment, especially when interacting with others.

Here are my top 5 mindfulness communication tips:

1. Follow the persons words in your mind.

-this was one of the most valuable things I’ve learned so far. To really concentrate on following the other persons words in my mind one by one keeps me focused on them and present to what they are saying.

2. Re focus your attention when your attention wanders, and forgive yourself.

-this tip reminds me that we are none of us perfect. If my mind wanders I immediately say to myself “later” and re focus my intention on the other persons words. I don’t beat myself up about it, I just accept the fact that I continue to practice mindfulness.

3. Leave space for the other person.

-this was difficult at first. I was conditioned to jump in and fill up the silence in conversations. By leaving space, and being comfortable with silence I am now able to be fully present and ensure the speaker has fully said what they want to say.

4. Backtrack.

-back tracking has helped me to fully appreciate what another has shared with me. By repeating their own words back to them, I’m imprinting the words in my memory and also letting them know that I’ve been truly listening to them.

5. If you are unsure ASK the person you are speaking to if they value some feedback.

-remain mindful that the person you are speaking to might just need to talk. They might not want your opinion. When in doubt ask. For example, “I’m hearing you say that you are totally discouraged with the way your boss treated you today. Would you like my opinion on the situation?”

I hope these tips can help you the next time you are supporting a friend or family member in an emotionally charged conversation. Sometimes we want to FIX the situation and focus so much on that that we forget the person on the other end may simply need us to be a heart with ears for them in that moment.

Questions? Email me!

Empower yourself today.

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