Postpartum and Beyond – Don’t Go it Alone

Posted on August 26, 2015 by Nadine Bernard, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

In our culture, much attention is put on pregnant women, and there is a great deal of focus on the birth and care of the infant in the early months following birth. In comparison, little attention is given to the care of the mother after she returns home from the hospital with her newborn. Many new mothers don’t have the social support and helpful information they need to get through these critical months. In every nonwestern culture, there is approximately a 60 day recovery period built into their societies, in which the new mother and baby are cared for by other members of the community. Around 80% of new mothers experience mood swings soon after giving birth. Without the right support, care, perspective and awareness, these mood swings have even more of a chance of spiraling into a mood disorder, which can show its thorny head anywhere in the first year after birth. Writing and sticking to a Postpartum Plan — which has been developed with the help and support of women who have been through this before (or drawing on your past postpartum experiences if you are not a new mother) — can often reduce the risk, severity or duration of postpartum mood disorders, and lead to more satisfaction with yourself and your family.

1. Don’t be a Martyr! Allow yourself at least 40 days to rest and relax after giving birth.
2. Make a list of the people in your life who can offer child care in the first weeks and beyond.
3. Don’t feel the need to be the hostess of your house. View your friends and family as a supportive village.
4. Say “No!” to negative thoughts as soon as they begin.
5. Eat rich and nourishing foods. Dieting too soon can lead to anxiety and depression.
6. Find ways to stay connected to your partner!
7. Work with those supporting you to get adequate rest and sleep.
8. When your doctor says you are ready, begin gentle exercise.

Recent research has also found a high incidence of depression in women with young children, even more so than in the weeks postpartum. A focus on the mother’s needs as an individual, early on and in the months and years to come, helps pave the way for a happier, more rewarding life. A few months after having a baby, you may find yourself revisiting your old life and identity and asking the huge questions – “Who am I now that I am a mother?” You may find yourself experiencing a great deal of grief, confusion, or disconnection from yourself as an individual apart from motherhood. These emotions are common and IMPORTANT to listen to. They can be frightening, unexpected and lead to much frustration. Don’t go it alone! Talk to friends or your partner, or work with a coach or counselor. If left unaddressed, your confusion can fester and produce chronic, mild depression or anger that becomes part of life. If you face your confusion and deal with it in an effective way, it can transform you into a blossoming individual who is more confident and self-aware than before— an individual who knows her priorities — who can have a fulfilling, enriching and empowered life as a mother and a woman.

If you feel yourself on a downward cycle, either postpartum or while your kids are young, it can be helpful to recognize that you are not alone. There are many other women out there going through similar experiences. This is an ideal time to work with a coach experienced in working with mothers, so you can identify what is causing you to feel stuck or unhappy and what changes you need to make to start on a path to enjoying your life and your family.

If symptoms of Postpartum mood disorders are severe or persistent, enlist the help of a trained psychologist or psychiatrist to treat the condition and support you in the recovery.