5 Steps to Successful Self-Coaching

Posted on July 02, 2015 by Tracey Sloan, One of Thousands of Career Coaches on Noomii.

In my 1,500+ hours of coaching others, I’ve heard alot, shared alot, learned alot and hopefully impacted alot of people in a positive and productive way. That said, I realize some prefer to go it alone and learn more by trial and error. I totally get it. Being a Taurus, I tend to want to chart my own course, too, and to learn by taking risks and trying new things. Thankfully, I have wise friends (and yes, great coaches) to help me stay on the best path for my unique gifts and goals.

I also believe, though, that we can and should take ownership of our own stories, and play a key leadership role in how, and how far, we progress along life’s journey. If you’re one of those people who prefer to do your own navigating, this article is for you. I admire your spunk, and offer these self-coaching tips to ignite and inspire your future success:

1. Manifest a Clear Mission. It’s essential for you to clarify your personal and professional goals. Write down where you are today, where you want to be, and the gap you’d like to fill. If you’re the artsy type, build a Pinterest Board of Pix that present a visual of your mission accomplished. Clarify your Why. Why is the goal important to you, and what will it mean for you or others when you achieve this goal? Make the goal as specific as possible, including specific outcomes, tasks to get there, and a deadline. Say it and write it out loud. Share it with a trusted colleague or friend, and ask them to be your accountability partner. Knowing someone will be checking up on you will increase your likelihood of following through on the commitments you make.

2. Track Your Traction. Create a separate online or physical journal. Barnes & Noble has a ton of them to pick from. They run the gamut from fancy leather ones to artistic sketch books, so choose whatever resonates best with your authentic self and personality. In the journal, log your progress, your outcomes, your shining moments and your deepest fears or blocks. If your goals aren’t moving as fast as you like, write down some ways to obliterate your obstacles. It could be as simple as saying “No!” to superfluous tasks so you can say “Yes!” to investing in yourself and your future. Perhaps you’d benefit from joining a Meet Up organization, a Facebook Community Page, or a MasterMind group? The important thing is to realize that any obstacle can be overcome if the goal really matters to you. Stay the course, keep your faith, and celebrate milestones along the way. When you do reach a pivotal goal, keep Thank You notes handy so you can send messages and be grateful for those who helped you achieve your goal. If it was a really huge help, throw in a Starbucks gift card or offer to treat them to lunch or dinner at their favorite restaurant.

3. Stick it out through Setbacks. This one is important. Accept that something, someone, or some unforeseen circumstance will slow you down. In this fast-paced digital dance of life, there are always distractions to draw your eye off the ball. You may be discouraged when this happens, and be tempted to prematurely throw in the towel. When this happens, go back to your Why. Ask yourself 3 questions: 1) Why is achieving this goal important for me again? 2) What positive impact on others will me achieving this goal have? and 3) What is the opportunity cost to myself and others if I give up on this goal? It’s like when you diet, or start an exercise program – don’t let one HoHo ruin your whole mission, or one lazy day on the couch mean you choose not to go for a run the next morning. That would be equivalent to hitting snooze on your life, and who has time for that? If your Why is important to you, and the Opportunity Cost of not meeting your goal is high, then dust yourself off, start anew, and get back in the game.

4. Believe it to Achieve it. Noone knows more than you (well, ok, maybe your mother) about what you are capable of achieving. If you’re perpetually surrounded by Debbie Downer or Discouraging Dave, smile, walk away, and become your own cheerleader and advocate. Trust your intuition to guide you toward success. If you start to doubt yourself, or nega-talk rears it’s ugly head, immediately snap your fingers, stop-thought and re-frame the shame. Instead of saying, “Who am I to accomplish this goal?” say “Why not me?” or “I’m so thankful to be blessed with the abilities, passion and expertise to achieve this important goal.” Surround yourself with a tribe of talent and posi-talk people, who will lift you up, energize you and encourage you to take risks as you grow. Be the “full” in How Full is Your Bucket?. Elevate, don’t berate, others. The posi-path will bring you much more joy, meaning and results than peer-envy or warrior-words. Seize opportunities to connect with like minds, positive people and productive partners who are willing to guide, encourage and empower you to stay the course. You must believe it to achieve it and receive the support around you that will carry you on downward-dog days. You can do it, whatever “it” is for you; believe it!

5. Do your Best and Ditch The Rest. If something is important or exciting to you, and you feel achieving it will make a positive difference in the lives of others, by all means explore it and adore it! This is our one life. Make the most of it, by remaining authentic to who you are and what you have to contribute. One of my favorite lines I learned form Lisa Sasevich was “Don’t change your act. Change your Audience.” It took me years to finally get and embrace this one. Now I know. It is a beautiful thing for you to be and offer 100% of who you are to the world. Doing so will lead you down a much more fulfilling path in life, including finding your perfect match for clients, for colleagues, for friendships and more. You will not be perfect, nor will I. But there is absolutely beauty in imperfection (if you don’t believe me, read Brene Brown’s The Gift of Imperfection), as it shows both vulnerability and strength to show the world who you are. If you make a mistake, try a new path. If you mess up, ask for forgiveness. If someone messes up with you, forgive them. Learn from the past, but move confidently toward the future. If you do your best, and ditch the rest, your load will be lighter, and your career and life will be brighter.

Whether you opt to hire a coach or go it alone, I hope you will apply these steps and keep moving forward with confidence and passion toward the goals that matter most to you. Nameste.

Thanks for taking a few minutes to read this and invest in yourself! Press onward to the best you can be, and may authenticity set you free! If you have any follow up questions, feel free to contact me at tracey@coachingonthego.com.