Shape Your Life
Posted on July 01, 2015 by Vance Larson, One of Thousands of Relationship Coaches on Noomii.
We outline some of the key components to live a happier life.
Social Community
We all need a Social Community. As much as we would like to admit that we are strong and could get along fine without a social community that simply isn’t so. Having a forum to speak your ideas and thoughts is vital to your health. We know that isolation often leads to depression. Depression often leads to physical illness and can lead to self destructive behavior, including suicide.
Depression: n. Psychol. An emotional state of mind characterized by feelings of gloom and inadequacy, leading to withdrawal. Depression is a mental state of excessive sadness characterized by persistently low mood, loss of pleasure and interest.
Social communities, be it friends, families or traditional support groups, enhance our lives. For those who feel the need to communicate about a specific problem, support groups can be a means of healing. Often those who are going through similar problems feel great strength in numbers. The reason being is that it helps to know that you are not the only one suffering. It is also a place where you can get first hand knowledge about your problem or issue. Support groups also give you an opportunity to give back. Find and embrace a support group. They are everywhere and they are for everything from AIDS to cancer to divorce or simple self improvement. Having a community who can identify with your illness and pain will give you that sense that you are not alone. It also affords you the opportunity to gain experience from the other members in the group (such as surgery/surgeons, medicine and health professional). Support groups are great for giving and receiving information and support.
“It is in giving that we receive”.
As we give of our self, we gain power over our own life (or situation). This is because we lose focus on our own problem and concentrate on someone else’s. Something miraculous happens when we give of ourselves. If you want to feel better, try giving more. This is one of the most universal truths there is. Your perception and attitude seem to shape your life.
Love Yourself
Loving your self starts with a healthy thought pattern. Knowing who you are and what you will allow in your life says a lot about self love. Studies suggest that eighty percent of what we are today is a result of what we learned between the ages of 8-12. Most of what we want to change can be traced back to our self image. At birth we have no self image. As we grow we respond to our environment. We learn what feels good and bad, our senses start to form. Our minds begin to take in the words we hear over and over again. Repetition is vital at this age. What are the words we are hearing? Are they directed at us or others? Are we learning to be honest and whole or are we learning to build a defense mechanism? This is where your self image is created. As we grow older we take on certain personality traits. We just do not decide to be one way or another. We learn them. We are a product of our environment and our genetics. We can not do anything about our genes, but we can do something about what we picked up along the way. What we decided to own as our own. What to believe and how to act. This is so important to understand. You need to realize that what you are today and how you think today is really what you were taught as a child. So, what does that exactly have to do with change? First, you need only to ask yourself why you want change. You want change because how you feel does not feel right. It does not feel right because you probably are working with a thought pattern that is not your own. And if that is not your thought pattern, then questions of who you are will soon follow.
Your self image and self worth are really all you have. If you do not believe in yourself, then all that surrounds you and all that you have are only possessions that define you. Most of what we want to change can be traced back to our self image. You are not your possessions. You are your thoughts. Your thoughts make you. Knowing how you want to live and what you want to have is your process, not your person. Start today and ask yourself questions like, “what will really make me happy,” and, “who am I”. Often when I teach a course and I ask the students who they are. I hear things like I am, and then they say their job. I point out that they are not their job. That is what they do. Who you are is your essence. And it will be totally different for every person in that room. And it should be. You are your thoughts. So when you want to create change, be sure you know what you want. The old saying, be careful of what you ask for, is so true. Material possessions are nice, but unless you are happy with yourself, then they will only bring short term happiness.
