Do You See What They See? (Part 2)
Posted on June 30, 2015 by Reginald Jackson Sr, One of Thousands of Executive Coaches on Noomii.
Take another look at how we can change the way we see ourselves.
In Part 1, I introduced the three elements of [a] context; exposure (past), experience (present), and expectation (future). Because our context is the lens through which we see the world, we have the power to see the world differently. While it is impossible to change the past (exposure), you do have the ability to change your relationship to your experience (present) and possess ways to create a positive expectation (future). How can you achieve this? I’m glad you asked!
It’s safe to say you have no control over the past. Unfortunately, some people hold on to the past with no constructive purpose for doing so. This can create unnecessary, if not detrimental interference, preventing you from moving forward. It has been said if you don’t study/learn from history; it’s bound to repeat itself. Although I am a firm believer in that statement, I don’t believe there is any benefit in constantly [re]living your own history. By allowing your history to dictate your future, you rob yourself of creating new, more fulfilling memories. Depending on your circumstances, this may be easier said than done. One of the best ways to overcome this dilemma is to actually rewrite the script of your expectation. By focusing more on the future state, and actively designing how your future will appear, it can bring about the expectation(s) you desire.
Every day, people notice things about you. To them, these things are somewhat obvious; however you fail to share the same because your exposure and experience are different from theirs. The one thing we all share in common is the inability to see ourselves as others do. What are some of the ways to make that happen? How do you begin to see what they see?
• Get curious
• Ask for feedback
• Develop a “spectator” attitude
Slow down and start paying attention to what you do and say. In other words get curious. Become a student of your being. Take the time to notice your thoughts, feelings, and body sensations, and how they differ from one situation to the next.
Enroll your most trusted allies to provide healthy feedback. Let them know you are asking for their objective observation. They can act as your mirror to reflect their experience related to your behavior, speech, mannerisms, etc. This is in service of your curiosity. Having them participate on your behalf may even prompt them to ask the same of you!
Compare your own assessment to the feedback you’ve received. This awareness leads to mindfulness, which will eventually cause a shift in how you interact to/with others. You may be familiar with the phrase ‘not being able to see the forest for the trees’ Things are so close, it’s difficult to see beyond what’s in front of you. Imagine being able to elevate yourself above the tree line to see more of the forest. This creates more of a “spectator” perspective and gives you greater visibility of the landscape. With that in mind, you are able to shift your focus and “take in” more of the scenery. Plainly put, taking a step back affords you the opportunity to put more emphasis on the big picture. The big picture is the future as you desire it to be. A fresh, new expectation, free of limitations, designed to your specifications.
Get to know yourself in a way you’ve possibly never done before. Part 3 will show you how.
