Can Positive Psychology influence self-esteem? I say positively, yes!
Posted on June 04, 2015 by Jerry Logan, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
I closer look at low and healthy self-esteem.
Simple, everyday decisions, the manner of interactions with people, and the particular responses to situations are rooted in self-esteem, the way I see myself here and now. My thoughts, relationships, and experiences all contribute to my self-esteem. According to the Mayo Clinic “Self-esteem is your overall opinion of yourself , how you feel about your abilities and limitations,” and it can range from healthy to low. When I have healthy self-esteem, I feel good about myself and see myself as deserving others’ respect. When I have low self-esteem, I put little value on my ideas and opinions; they just do not matter to anyone. I might frequently worry that I am not good enough for others.
Various factors contribute to my overall self-esteem. These may include, but are not limited to, my thoughts and perceptions, job or career, heritage and culture, and many more. My closest and most immediate relationships with family, friends, and others in regular contact, likely have the most influence on my self-esteem. Messages in word and action, over the course of time bear composite results. With good relationships, positive feedback, and encouragement, one will likely develop a worthwhile sense, and a healthy self-esteem. On the other hand, negative comments, criticism, and extensive teasing can lead to the struggle with low self-esteem. Some of these may be ingrained from childhood and early formation, when the developing child is being molded into responsible adulthood, and the ability to resist or break free of these influences can seem daunting. When a child is repeatedly told he or she is stupid or ugly or whatever other demeaning words, that child will eventually live according to those categories, no matter how smart or attractive the child really is.
My own thoughts and perceptions can have the greatest impact on my self-esteem because I have the ability to control them. I have to learn to recognize both my skills and my limitations. If I focus on my weaknesses, I will be caught in the grips of poor self-esteem and be very unhappy, the kind of person who is not invited to dinner or the party. Each day may seem to be laden with misery, filled with gloom, and with little sense of any hope. I am caught up in seeing solely or mostly my flaws and failings, and not much more; equally as tragic is that I may only see the same in others, no matter how caring or generous those persons may be.
A genuinely healthy self-esteem involves honestly acknowledging every aspect of my life, whatever talents and skills, limitations and liabilities I have. I recognize what I can and cannot do, neither boasting, nor wallowing in self-pity. The goal is to have an accurate view of myself, hopefully seeing what others see, so that the overlapping pictures are as close to identical as possible. Striving to move to the middle, not the point of mediocrity, but the place of balance, is foremost on the mind of one whose self-esteem is on the healthy track. Picture a balance scale with its two hanging pans as objects are placed on either side. When there are equal weights in both pans, the pointer rests on the exact middle point. Healthy self-esteem, my realistic being, not a distorted one, means I am grounded in that central point. Moreover, it has an impact on the whole of my life, my physical self, as well as my emotional, spiritual, interpersonal, social, and relational components of all that I am.
Developing that balance within a good self-esteem can take time, with struggles and challenges along the way. Having a trusted person as a resource for dialogue and reflection may be instrumental in the ongoing development to become the best version of the self that is possible and achievable. Making use of other resources such as books, online research, support groups and more can provide additional means for reaching this goal. How one gets to that focused point does not really matter; the ongoing effort to seek the middle, the balance, is what counts. The healthy self is the happy self, fully realized, in harmony within, and with others.
