3 Ways to Improve Your EQ Self Awareness
Posted on June 01, 2015 by Calvin Guyer, One of Thousands of Business Coaches on Noomii.
EQ Self-awareness is a foundational attribute that is key to improving in the other three areas.
Emotional Intelligence (EQ)
Emotional Intelligence consists of four broad areas:
1. Self-awareness
2. Self-management
3. Social awareness
4. Relationship management
Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves is a must read. Today’s work environment is technically demanding. However, as Bradberry and Greaves point out, it isn’t the technical skills of an individual that derails their career – it is the lack of emotional intelligence, or EQ as it is commonly referred. The ability for somebody to learn a technical skill is, for the most part, fixed. The ability to grow in EQ is unlimited.
Self-awareness is a foundational attribute that is key to improving in the other three areas. Let’s focus on some strategies (Bradberry/Greaves) that can assist you in developing a healthy appreciation of self-awareness.
Strategy #1: Quit treating your feelings as good or bad
You can’t just bifurcate your feelings into good and bad. Feelings just are. When you attach a label to a feeling you create a judgment. Judgment prevents you from understanding where the feeling comes from and understanding how to use the feeling in a positive manner. Take notice of the feeling; record your thoughts; ask yourself questions about the feeling (why you have it and what you can do with it); and then embrace it.
Strategy #2: Visit your values
It’s not just about what you value but what your organization values. We have all heard it – Culture Eats Strategy for Lunch. Don’t let the daily challenges of life and business take you away from your values. When it does, you have to expend more energy than is necessary to keep all the balls in the air. That creates tension. And tension is often looking to be released – sometimes with an abrupt comment or action. Know your values and stay true to those values.
Strategy #3: Know who and what pushes your buttons
Button pushers – you have them in your life. The next time that you experience them (who or what) – take a deep breath and take time to fully understand what caused the reaction. Was it tone of voice? Was it posture? Or is it just the person? The “why” is our fight or flight response – a healthy dose of adrenaline. Good if you are trying to escape from a burning building – bad if you are trying to influence others. Once you know the “who” or “what” you can make a point to be in control BEFORE your button gets pushed. This is self-awareness. Over time and with practice you simply eliminate the button.
