A common issue, yet not often addressed: Why do we feel jealous?
Posted on May 26, 2015 by Leanne Doering, One of Thousands of Health and Fitness Coaches on Noomii.
Understand the reasoning behind your jealousy and learn what you can do about it. The link between the Ego and vulnerability.
Have you been in situations where you hold yourself back for fear of looking bad, not knowing, or not being right? These situations are very common, and we all experience them, including myself. The reason we hold ourselves back is because of our Ego – our Ego always wants us to look good, to know, and to be right. Our Egos want us to portray an excellence, or a façade in other words, that we are always strong, intelligent and unbreakable beings 100% of the time: we never make mistakes, we always know the right answers, and most of all, we ALWAYS look good. This is in no way true – we are human and it is in our nature to make mistakes and learn from them – this is how we continue to grow, evolve and progress.
The Ego seeks to preserve itself by avoiding vulnerability, or by being in situations where there is an opportunity to look bad. Feeling vulnerable can be scary and lonesome since the emotion is coming from within us, and nobody else knows what that feels like. The Ego takes us outside of ourselves and compares us to others. Doing this may create an illusion of jealousy. When we compare ourselves to others, we may feel undermined if we believe that the other people have greater advantages or greater privileges than us. For example, let’s say you are overweight and wanted to start an exercise routine. You are feeling vulnerable because you are uncomfortable with how you look, and you are worried that other people may judge you. This is where your Ego kicks in because it does not like that vulnerable feeling: it will entice you to compare yourself to other people. For example, your Ego may tell you, “Look how good they all look! You will never be able to look that skinny and feel beautiful!” This then triggers 2 things:
- Feelings of jealously – we feel the other people have a greater advantage than us
- Rids of vulnerability – deters you from moving forward and trying in the first place
So although we no longer feel vulnerable, we are now in a situation where we feel jealous and spiteful of others, and also feel deflated because we did not even try the initial thing that we wanted to do.
Where do we go from here? What we have to do is to look past the feeling of jealously, and be OK with feeling vulnerable. We need to deal with the real emotion (vulnerability) that the Ego is trying to avoid. We need to simply notice the feelings of jealously and vulnerability, and be OK with them. We need to allow ourselves the opportunity to move forward as an individual, and do something because WE want to do it. Perhaps that will mean that we feel jealous and vulnerable in the beginning, but we need to remember that these emotions are stemming from our Ego. This is how we learn, progress, and enjoy life. As you do move forward, you will find that the feelings of jealously and vulnerability become less and less – this is a sign that you have successfully become the boss of your Ego, and are no longer letting your Ego influence your decisions and control your actions.
Learning Outcomes:- We are not our Egos.
- Our Egos instigate feelings of jealously to avoid feeling vulnerable.
- Our Egos create resistance that prevent us from following our passions.
- We need to be OK with feeling jealous and vulnerable in order to excel at what we really want to do.
As always, I would love to hear from you. Let me know what you think. Feel free to share your comments – what has been your experience with jealously?
Contact me here:
Phone: 778-738-8288
Email: leanne@feel-empowered.com
Website: www.feel-empowered.com
