Courageous Living One Moment at a Time
Posted on May 22, 2015 by Debrah Williams, One of Thousands of Career Coaches on Noomii.
Living courageously begins by surrounding yourself with people who will inspire, challenge, and encourage you to be the leader of your own life.
I sat holding my breath with the rest of the nation while watching Kerri Strug carry the weight of the 1994 US Olympics gymnastics team on her young shoulders. The tension and excitement in the air was palpable, given that the team gold came down to Kerri’s final run at the vault. After the terrible wait of a few minutes, Kerri ran full speed, made contact with the vault, flew through the air, then made an awkward landing where she injured her leg. I could tell her injury was significant by the expression of pain on her face and the way she protected her leg. It was easy to assume that the hopes for the gold had slipped through the fingers of the team; disappointment hung in the air as the world waited.Within minutes I had to pick my chin up off of the floor when I realized Kerri was actually going to do her final run at the vault with injured leg and all. She ran in a way that there was no hint of the injury until after flying through the air she came down and made a near perfect landing on one leg. When the reality of what the world just witnessed sank in, the stands erupted as I did in my living room at the courage, tenacity, and willingness of this young lady to put it all on the line. She risked more pain, her reputation, and the disappointment of the team. Everyone would have understood if she had bowed out of the competition due to her injury. So her risk was great! Yet, with the uncertainty, fear, and pain, she chose to be courageous, forever leaving an imprint on Olympic history and those of us who watched as to what courage and tenacity looks like.
This example brings us to an important reality about courage. If we focus on the risk we will most likely shut ourselves down with fear and stop ourselves from moving forward in growth and inspiration. If we focus on living courageously, we develop courage, which is the act that counterbalances the vulnerability of risk. We will never face the fears of exposing our deepest selves unless we spend the energy of courage, graciously and abundantly on ourselves. That means as we practice courage we will have no control over what others will do in response to our courageous living. There will be those who will violate the gift of our souls, and those who will hold it sacred. But, it isn’t about those people, it is about you embracing the life you have been given, courageously.
In relationships, the first step toward courage is to realize that none of us live courageously by ourselves. If Kerri’s coach and team had been afraid of the pain, she never would have fulfilled her dream. The world would never have witnessed the life, spirit, and incredible gift of the powerful gymnast. The same is true for you. In order to live your most courageous self, you will need people around you that will encourage you, challenge you, and inspire you to keep moving forward, dreaming, and focusing on your becoming the best you.
The second step is to assess your family, friends, and colleagues to see who your cheerleaders are. Not to judge them, but to assess and be aware of those who help you become the best you. Many times it can be those that are closest to us that will shut us down or mock our courageous living. This is where setting boundaries from a place of courage and our honest self is far more productive than setting boundaries out of fear. Setting boundaries out of courage is to be kind and compassionate yet remain focused on the dreams and the things we are living for. Years ago I had a dream of getting my graduate degree in counseling. I had those in my life who were encouraging and also family members who asked questions like, “Why would you want to do that?” and “Are you sure you can do that?” And, you guessed it: those questions put doubt, uncertainty, and fear in my mind about my own ability. This is where the courageous compassion, courageous dream, and courageous tenacity come in. If you know that you know you want your dream and it is for you, stand in it, and tell others, “Thank you very much for sharing. If you can’t be supportive with this decision that is fine, but I need do this my way.” You can enjoy a relationship and use your words to establish these boundaries in order to reach your potential.
I am sure some of you just took a big gulp at the thought of putting that type of boundary on someone you love. Yet, if you know what you want, your first step of courage is to put people around you that will also believe in your dream. Without support, encouragement, and the challenge to become better at being you, the negativity will most likely override your inspiration. To reach every dream there are multitudes of courageous decisions that need to be faced and courageous living always begins in facing our relationships.
One of the most profound examples of this was in an interview I saw with Maya Angelou. At a dinner party at her home, from across the room she heard someone tell a joke that was a sarcastic putdown to a cultural group. Maya reported walking across the room and telling this person that while in her home and in her presence, no one would put someone else down in any way shape or form. Then she asked them to leave the dinner party. Now this was courage in action. She didn’t berate this person. She just understood that negativity is costly. It spreads like cold germs from one to another without people realizing it. I am not sure I could have done the same thing. But what I do recognize here is the power and strength it took to stand for everyone in that room so the germs of negativity did not spread to the rest of her party.
Exercising courage is never easy nor pain free, but it is one of the most important qualities to possess in order to become the leader of your own life.
DO SOMETHING COURAGEOUS TODAY!
BUILDING COURAGE HAPPENS ONE SMALL COURAGEOUS STEP AT A TIME!
