Uncertainty versus Clarity

Posted on May 15, 2015 by Marika Gillis, One of Thousands of Career Coaches on Noomii.

Uncertainty versus Clarity

“It’s a lack of clarity that creates chaos and frustration. Those emotions are poison to any living goal.”
“The best way to succeed is to have a specific Intent, a clear Vision, a plan of Action, and the ability to maintain Clarity. Those are the Four Pillars of Success. It never fails!”

Steve Maraboli

What is uncertainty? What is clarity?

We all have hit that point where we can’t figure out exactly what we really want to do with our lives. It can happen when you are 18, when you freshly graduate from college, when you are moving overseas, just married or divorced, when you have been in the same job for a while, when you have just overcome health issues, when you started your own business, changed jobs, when children leave for college…

Being unclear and struggling means we do not understand a certain situation, have feelings of uncertainty, doubt and feel we do not know. We have a hard time understanding ourselves as well. We are confused about our life and feel stuck. We can’t decide what to do next. We oftentimes don’t even know what we need to fix. This in turn can lead to feelings of doubt because we punish ourselves for not knowing. And hence, we lose self-confidence, have self-doubt, feel demotivated…

To have clarity is to have power. With clarity, we can more easily narrow down the choices with their pros and cons. Uncertainty causes doubt, indecisiveness and makes people stuck. It is like standing on crossroads and not knowing which turn to take.

However, as humans, it is useful to go through periods of discomfort. It makes us stand still and makes us evaluate our options. This period of discomfort is the first step towards clarity and is absolutely necessary. All great things in life come just after overcoming obstacles and challenges. A professional coach uses powerful questions and techniques to understand your situation and yourself much better and will guide you in creating a customized action plan.

Not all lack of clarity needs to be as severe as losing a job or being undecided on choosing a new career path. It comes in all levels.
However, all lack of clarity comes from one of these traits:

1. Too many options and/or choices.
2. Not enough knowledge.
3. Other people’s opinions.
4. Lack of a vision.
5. Not knowing why you want it so bad.

Common questions that arise when you face uncertainty are:

“What am I supposed to do?”
“What job will I like?”
“How will I support myself?”
“What will people think?”
“Where do I want to go?”
“What career path will be best for me?”
“What is the next step in my life?”
“How will I know what I really want in life?”
“What is my purpose and what will give meaning to my life?”
“What direction should I take next?”
“What if I make the wrong decision?”
“How can I make my current role more interesting?”
“What are my priorities and what is REALLY important to me?”

Being in this situation feels like driving all alone through heavy fog in an area you do not know. You do not see the road ahead of you. You do not see the front of your car clearly, let alone other cars. You hold on so firmly to your steering wheel that your knuckles turn white. Your heart beats fast and you sweat profusely. You sit cramped in your seat and hunch forward. You drive very slowly not knowing if you are still on the road. You are afraid you may drive off a cliff or get stuck in a pothole. You are unable to see the people by the road that can help you find the way.
You have a hard time making the right decision.

Driving in clear weather feels so much better. You see the road ahead of you. You can drive faster towards your destination. You feel relaxed and are not gripping your steering wheel. When you see a pothole, you can counter it by swerving around it. When you run out of gasoline, you see the gas station and can refill your car. You are not afraid and feel confident.
And when you arrive at a beautiful spot with a wonderful view, you can stop and take in the view for a moment.

There are many ways to gain clarity

Most people believe it is up to others to give them clarity. They wait and assume the others know what they want and deserve. If somebody tells you what to do – it is not according to who you are and it will not empower you. It is as if you are told to wear clothes that do not fit you perfectly.

Here is a list of essential approaches:

1 You need to assume 100% responsibility for your own level of clarity

Many people assume that clarity is something that will arrive in good time if they simply wait patiently. Time will tell what life has in store for you, is a common limiting belief. Clarity is also seen as something that is bestowed from the outside. We think that the universe or the world at large has the power to grant us clarity or that luck and a good life is an accident in some way. Some people get lucky, others don’t – is a stance many of us have.

These attitudes are pointless and self-defeating. Clarity isn’t something that arrives from outside of you. Clarity isn’t a matter of luck either. Clarity is what you create for yourself. Clarity is a decision. Clarity is inside out!
Whatever degree of clarity you’re experiencing right now is what you’ve decided to create. Not deciding still counts as a decision. In that case it’s the decision to stay unclear. When you commit yourself to one specific direction, clarity is the natural result.

It is entirely possible that you may not be very good at creating clarity yet. You may in fact be very good at creating confusion, obscurity and uncertainty for yourself. That is for now, but take it as a given that you’re the one who is creating your current level of clarity. No one else is doing it to you.

Furthermore, realize and accept that if your current degree of clarity is to improve, then you must actively make some changes. Endlessly pondering why you don’t have clarity will only bring confusion, so that’s a bad habit you best drop immediately.
If you want more clarity, then it’s time to treat clarity as a serious undertaking that is entirely owned by you. It’s not going to happen unless you make it happen. Doing your best in looking at all possible steps you can take is essential. Brainstorming with me is a great exercise that can help in many ways.

2 Self-knowledge: Find out what matters to you and discover who you truly are

We do not spend a lot of time reflecting on ourselves. The outer world is in constant dialogue with us: We have to study for that exam, write that paper, answer those email, prepare that report, take the kids to school, earn that degree, listen to our boss, earn a lot of money, go to the gym, go to work…Seldom do we take the time to reflect on what it is that drives all of these actions. The cause of uncertainty is to be found within us. Are our behaviors in sync with our vision? Do we have the right mindset? Are we optimists or pessimists?

When we are doing things that are not aligned with our values, strengths, skills and interests, we cannot achieve success. Would you be able to tell clearly what they are?
A coach can ask powerful questions to shine a light on these matters or you can take assessments. Assessments are not meant to pigeonhole you or label you, they can be a good starting point to evaluate and start seeing who you are.

And great news! If your behavior or your mindset is not what you need it to be to be successful, you can change it! As a coach – I have the tools to get you there.

3 Explore, shadow and investigate

Being curious is a good trait to have when you don’t know something. As a child, when you wanted to find out about something, you would venture out, open boxes, cupboards, …it was natural to take the lead and not wait for someone to give us clarity.

Sometimes it’s tough to set a clear goal because you don’t know what you’re getting into. In that case you can explore and ask questions in order to gain clarity about the goal you want to have.
Doing exactly the same thing as you are doing now, won’t give you clarity. Thinking about what to do next and writing down a vision can certainly help, but that isn’t always enough. Sometimes you have to get moving first before clarity can be achieved. You’ll enjoy more clarity when you’re in motion than when you’re standing still. A pilot has better visibility from the air than from the ground.
When you’re stuck in a state of ambivalence, do whatever it takes to break the impasse. Follow someone on a job you are interested in. Take a course in the field you feel passionate about. Interview someone who is doing what you may want to do. Ask for insights, culprits, highs and lows of the job.
Commit to first small steps. Talk to others about your impasse – use your network to get as much information as you can.
Find out everything about your choices. As you learn the pros and cons, make an effort to research it. The Internet is vast and boundless. We have more access to information than ever before. Find support groups, forums, live seminars and meet with people face-to-face.
4 Harvest and apply the clarity lessons from your past

Notice that your level of clarity isn’t the same at all times. At some points in your life, you can be very clear. At other times you may feel extremely uncertain. Take a moment to review those times when you’ve been clear versus unclear. See if you can identify some of the causal factors on both sides.

Notice which factors lead to reduced clarity, and do less of them. Also notice which factors lead to increased clarity, and do more of them. This sounds childishly simple, and it is, but chances are that you aren’t applying this idea as well as you could. Humor me, and give it a try. You’ll be amazed as the a-ha moments that can be gotten from a quick review of your past patterns of clarity vs. fuzziness.

For example, do you feel clearer and more certain after taking the time to write down your goals? Do you feel fuzzier after having a conversation with someone who’s always nagging you to change in ways you disagree with? If so, then do the former more often, and do the latter less often.

5 Design an Action Plan

Make an action plan with 1 clear bold goal or vision. Take 1 action at a time. Do not fill your “change agenda” with more things to do differently.

Make sure you set your values as compass for you to stay on the right path. Making an action plan puts your mind at ease and creates clarity for the road ahead.

Without a goal, the wind will carry you in any direction it wants to. If you don’t have an action plan, someone else will eventually have one for you and it will most likely not be one aligned with who you are, creating uncertainty.

6 Practice mindfulness when you lose focus

Do not beat yourself up because you do not see clear. Uncertainty is part of life. What happened in the past and will happen in the future is not what counts.

By focusing on the present and letting go of frustrations caused by not knowing, you learn to be gentle with yourself. Mindfulness is great to de-clutter your mind and stop your inner critic.

It is important to know that it is what you do or who you are right now that counts. It is the only thing you have. And doing your best and being your best will make you a happier person because then you will have a journey that matters. The journey is all that matters. Make it an amazing one!